Happy Festivus! The Festivus for the Rest of Us.

Let's make a Festivus Pole, but with a modern take. Which Frank would find distracting, I know. Air your grievances accordingly.

Step 1: Get Materials

Let's make a distracting Festivus pole!

An aluminium pole
Some wood Pole holder thingy, like a clamp or this thing I found in a local hardware store
Long USB cable you're willing to cut
Nice big 10mm LED, the brighter the better
Resistor, probably something like 100-200Ohm
A latching switch (optional)

Tools

Soldering iron
Pliers, cutters and such
Hot glue
Drill with metal drill bits (you want to drill small holes, so find a small bit)
obviously a laser engraver if you have one

Step 2: Solder Electronics, Cut Wood

I've put the 10mm led in the pole holder thingy, use shrink tube, cut the wood to size and hot and wood glued it together.

Step 3: Drill Holes in Pole and Assemble

The fun bit, drilling random holes in the aluminium pole. That was the hardest part, trying to make it look random.

Put the pole in the pole holder bit, connect the usb cable to a battery pack or mains adapter, and pronto! A modern take of the Festivus Pole. The ultimate reduction of a Christmas tree.

Now air your grievances, pin your host and get this thing over with. We got soup to buy, muffin tops to eat and coffee to drink.

Happy Festivus!