If you're looking for something build as a gag gift for that "special" friend or to spruce up your "industrial" themed bar, dorm room, first apartment, etc., the Beer Light (a/k/a the Heiney-lamp, a/k/a the tackiest lamp on earth) is just for you. For everyone else, it's a "proof-of-concept" Instructable in keeping with all things. . .well, uh. . .green. It's recycling at it's finest! This 'beauty' cost me nothing to build (I already had supplies on hand from other lamps, parties, etc.), but would cost you around forty bucks--LESS, that is, the price for the beer.

Anyway, here's hoping you enjoy my 'maiden' Instructable.

Step 1: Obtain Required Materials

a. hollow all-thread
b. two keglets (drink up!)
c. assortment of hex nuts
d. assortment of finishing washers
e. lamp cord/lamp kit
f. one small harp (if not a part of the kit above)
g. one finial of your choice
h. light bulb
i. one stainless steel mixing bowl sized to taste ("lamp shade")
j. one can Dupli-Color Metalcast 'Anodizing Surface Color System' spray paint (Auto Zone)
k. one small piece 3/4" Electrical Metalic Tubing (EMT)
l. one piece 1/2" birch sand-ply approximately 6"x14"
m. two steel washers

Step 2: Obtain Required Tools

a. Drill w/assorted bits
b. Forstner bits
c. router bits
d. router or drill press
e. crescent wrench
f. screwdriver
g. compass
h. 360-degree protractor
i. compass
j. jigsaw
j. hole saws (assored sizes)

Step 3: Assembly

a. Remove top green bumpers and valve bodies from top of keglets
b. ENSURE that all pressure from keglets has been released
c. Drill center valves/valve stems using standard bit
d. Using hole saw, cut a 2" diameter minimum hole in top of keglets (tops ONLY)
e. Use resulting hole to remove CO^{2 cannisters from inside keglets}
f. Find centers of keglet bottoms using protractor/compass; tap pilot dent in bottoms on that mark
g. Drill holes in keglet bottoms just larger than hollow all-thread aquired above
h. Using keglet top AND bottom (different dimensions!) as template, trace two circles on sand-ply acquired above
i. Cut resulting circles and find center using protractor/compass
j. Drill hole just larger than hollow all-thread acquired above
k. Obtain small finishing washer and choose Forstner bit to size; bore HALF-WAY throuh largest diameter circle
l. Using router, cut small groove across diameter of circle (to accommodate power cord) on SAME side of circle as forstner hole was bored
m. Place small finishing washer and one hex nut on one end of all-thread;
n. Run all-thread through base disc (largest circle), keglets and top disk
o. Place one hex nut on top of assembly and draw down tightly, ensuring that keglets are aligned/seated properly
p. Place finishing washer atop hex nut and follow with another hex nut
q. Place pre-sized section of EMT over hex nut on top of finishing washer; follow with another hex nut to a level just BELOW top edge of EMT
r. Place doubled/inverted finishing washers atop EMT and follow with with base of lamp harp
s. Place one hex nut on all-thread atop of lamp harp and install BASE of lamp socket; run power cord through entire assembly
t. Wire lamp socket to cord protruding through base; place metal cover over lamp socket and press down FIRMLY
u. Place lamp harp on lamp; install light bulb; check for proper operation
v. Find center of "lamp shade" and drill hole just large enough to accommodate the finial bolt atop lamp harp
w. Place one steel washer atop lamp harp onto finial bolt; place "lamp shade" atop harp
x. Place one steel washer atop "lamp shade" and install finial
y. Adjust "lamp shade" to fit; paint/customize lamp as desired
z. You're done. You've just replicated the Tackiest Lamp on Earth.