This male cat adopted us; our cat freaking!!!

Anyone know how to acclimate two cats to each other? One is male (aggressive); the other is an older female (timid). Pulling hair out (mine). this has been goiing on for almost 2 years. Juggling cats not easy for two seniors; however, we love the little boy too. I have put up a barrier in one room that the male doesn't seem to know how to jump, and we let them see each other. Fem cat hisses, spits and runs unless I am there to put my hand on her; someone has to be holding him at the same time. We have cat windows, crates, and a kitty walk, and we utilize all of them. Aaarrghhh!

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Perham8 years ago
Haha. Good one Gorillaz. :3 If they do everything separate (it seems like they do), then maybe introduce them to each other again? I would think one person would hold the male and another hold the female. Bring them close together but only until one of them starts to feel tense or fidgety. Keep doing it everyday, slowly bringing them closer and closer until they don't have a problem being within a foot of each other. Also, make sure they get rewarded (treats, toy, etc) every time it's done and do something relaxing before that they like. Then you'd just work on them standing on the floor themselves, possibly giving them treats as they get closer to each other. That's all I can think of so I hope that helps!
nicelly5 years ago
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afridave7 years ago
put them in a room together and close the door and leave them to sort themselves out for a while.
HarleyL8T8 years ago
You should make sure the male cat is neutered (female should be too for that matter but it makes a bigger difference in the attitude on the male). Many times this will calm them down and they will be less aggressive. Talk to your vet too; sometimes there are other health reasons why a cat is more aggressive than normal.
debdeb238 years ago
You may want to try separating the two for a while. While Charine is correct that they need to come to terms by themselves, keeping the new guy somewhat confined will allow your girl to keep her territory but still get used to his presence. Swap them out for a while so that they can get used to each others' scents. I would keep the door closed for a few days. Your girl will be able to smell and hear him, but he will not be a threat to her. After a few days, try it with the door blocked, but letting the cats see each other. If she is still freaking, close the door again. It may take a while. When we introduced our new male cat to our resident female cat, we kept them separated for a couple of weeks when we weren't home to monitor them together. After that, they were okay. Not great -- they still had growling and hissing, but she did tolerate him okay (he came from a house that had lots of cats over the years, so he had no problems at all with her). After a couple of months, they even had an interaction I believed to be play!
charine138 years ago
I wouldnt get more cats but I can tell you you need to let them get used to each other, seperating them will not help, they need to establish a "pecking order" or dominance and the only way this will happen is if they cohabitate, they might scrap a few times but it will get better. Now I will say as with people some cats just hate each other if this is the case they will more than likely avoid one another and maybe fight occasionaly but usually they just "give up and give in"
Quizicat8 years ago
I have 3 cats. An older female who was resident only cat and a younger male and female (brother and sister) who moved in with my girlfriend. My old cat has truly hated the other two from the jump and I have tried everything including the Feliway (worthless). Anyway, they occasionally chase but they mostly just yell. Its been over 3 years. No end in sight. You know they just don't learn. I'm not sure but the get two more cats idea could be as good as any. If nothing else you would have a whole choir then.
mingus20128 years ago
try these links:

also, there is a product called Feliway which helped us tremendously with territorial issues (we have five strays, all a nice happy (sometimes!) family...
mchallis8 years ago
hi. I had a similar problem with 2 house cats a few years ago. Believe me I tried many things but what has and continues to work is 1. Feliway plug ins in every room plus a product called 'Matatabi' - I get it via a friend who lives in Japan. Its a powder that makes catnip look like a waste of time. Great sprinkled down in front of each cat - butter would not melt in their mouths. Happy to talk about other things that I have tried with varying degrees of success if you wish to discuss further.
marieD8 years ago
I also have two cats, an older one and (of course) a younger one. They are both castrated males so I guess thta would make a difference. When I got the second cat my plan was to introduce them slowly, leaving the new one in a closed room and let each other "smell" the other through the door. As it turns out, when the new cat got there, it jumped of the guy's arms to hide somewhere... so my plan went down the drain. At first, the cats were fighting endlessly, but since neither of them has claws I just made sure they didn't bite too hard (the younger one is the biter and the older one has an incredible amount of fur so he didn't feel a thing). They fought 24/24 for about 3 days. Now they sleep together and play all the time... this may not work for you since you say one of them is very aggressive.. but it's worth a try.. or at least try to reintroduce them...
prissysmom8 years ago
Hmmm, y'all are both right. I even thought about getting another dog so they could distract both cats. I have a dachshund now, and when the cats get into it, she corrects the timid cat. Anyway, I have started putting the introduction plan into action. Other problem is my roomie is an idiot and does not understanding the workings of an animal's psyche. Have to train him too. Thanks guys.
Get 2 more cats. A young female and an old male. ;]