How do I conquer the world?

There are so many things wrong with this world and I want to conquer it so I can fix it!!! I have already made a decent plan that you can see at but I would just like a few tips.

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Plasmana8 years ago
You need an insane amounts of money to do that...
toelle8 years ago
Use the force
The whole idea is to look non-threatening to everyone. You want to be just progressive enough to appease the people who are "out there" but not enough to scare the more reserved folks. It helps to have a poor background or to make one up so you seem like you are in touch with common folks. Get into politics through some sham job like being a senator. A phony law degree from the internet can help. Shake everyone's hand and pander to each group by ripping on the other groups when they aren't within earshot. Promise everyone the moon and deliver nothing. Be as vague as possible with any statements and promises using subjective terms like "fix" or "help". The whole point is to take over the most influential nation on earth, IE the US. People can argue this point but in reality the US will be your biggest obstacle if you start with any other nation. You need to get backed by whatever party hasn't been in power for the last 8 years. Everyone gets tired of one side's rhetoric after about 8 years and demands "change". Once you've secured the presidency you need to covertly start a war in some SMALL country by giving the head of the CIA a few Ferraris or a beach mansion or two. You can also fake a terrorist attack or the like and make a memorial or two.Then use the war or attack as an excuse to pass a bunch of draconian bills under the guise of "safety" or "protection". Once you've basically flushed the constitution down the toilet its time to find a a really prevalent group to turn into a scapegoat.They need to be prevalent so you don't run out of them too quickly. An easy target would be people who have any ties to the nation your started the war with. Then start stuffing the people in jails in droves because represent a "risk factor". Make up some crap about them being sympathizers for the opposing nation. Then get them to work in camps to build weapons / etc. You can genocide them if you want but they are probably best left as workers. You can launder a lot of federal money under the guise of a new protection agency or something of the like. Use this money to hire and train a new military branch which answers only to you an has no oversight, etc. Distribute the branch so it has offices everywhere. Once your personal army is good and large stage a faked attack by a major world superpower. Act like you are "saving face" and not retaliating. Use this to increase what should already be a fanatical zealotry for you cause. At this point your army should step in as oversight for all other armed services, because obviously it is needed at this point. This should give you almost 100% control of the armed services. Now comes the all out world domination. Start with small countries. Perform air strikes on all military bases in the smaller countries as well as some civilian targets. Again this is to confuse everyone else so they think it is just terrorist attacks. Render "aid" to these areas, which is really just the invasion force. The citizenry really don't matter much because they are unarmed in most countries and present little resistance. Your biggest task at this point is fooling the UN. If the UN is fooled all of the nations that could potentially stop you won't knwo that they need to. This shouldn't be hard because at this point you should be a celebrity with almost every nation and your always blabbing about unity and other P-C slogans. Once the smaller nations are taken over focus on the larger ones. This is easiest by making them fight each other. It wouldn't be too hard to fake an invasion on israel, and "nearly succeed" which will force them to nuke most of the threats in the middle east into the stone age with all those bombs they claim they don't have. That takes care of the middle east. Then fake an invasion on Russia by China, so they nuke each other into oblivion. See where this is going?
blkhawk8 years ago
I do not think that anyone can really conquer the world but war profiteers make a good living and also have a lot of influence in human affairs. Invent and sell weapons and contribute with the already messed up human condition.
modernman8 years ago
Trying to conquer the world is the finest objective you can dedicate your life too but only if you're willing to go all the way and destroy the planet once you take over.
Cthulu8 years ago
1. Get lots of money 2. form a underground army 3. capture a small country for a base of operations 4. start political instability 5. persuade the people 6. take over other country's 7. unify all country's with one, powerful government 8. destroy all who defy you. Ta-da
Sandisk1duo8 years ago
A.) you're crazy B.) why are you making the website, is it a school project?
kirahitler9 (author)  Sandisk1duo8 years ago
A.)I'm not crazy,you are B.) I don't think I would make a take over the world website as a school project. C.) I'm not crazy;just paronoid
randofo8 years ago
It would seem like you may make things worse by first conquering it. If you want to fix the world, do it! There is no need to conquer it first. Everyone loves a philanthropist.
ChrysN8 years ago
Conquering the world is not the way to fix it.