I need help finding the right way to talk to a girl I am interested in?

I tried internet dating sites to gain my confindance back but it has made it worst I have been the most successful on paid dating sites but do not have the desire to pay or have the money to pay for them. I have been best going to school and talking to people I know but they just do not fit my catagory of dating so I want to go out further and see and meet people but I need the proper way of telling a girl I am interested in her and would like to know more about her I have gone on several dates when in school and they were complete failure I need to somehow know how to make her interested in talking to me without the dating prospect maybe going out as friends at first and I try that on Internet dating and it is frustrating becuase people take it so litteral that is what you do before you want to date right  I really want to know the skills to get a girl interested in wanting to hang out as friends and I can use it anywhere  

sort by: active | newest | oldest
iceng6 years ago
I, I, I, used 12 times. You really need to un-center yourself to be the
conversationally interesting person you would like to be.
Right now this question sounds like a guy seeking skills to use on a girl.
Definitely not what a woman would want out of a relationship with a man.

Sorry if this offends you, but you did ask.
rickharris, kiteman, and ganglion all gave excellent advice, especially the part about being yourself. The only thing I would add is that if you want to spend time without it being a traditional date, ask her if she is interested in going to a social gathering or open house event at a store you like to shop at, or helping to volunteer at a community event. If I was single I'd be going to the REI & Backwoods functions a lot. Swap Meets and farmer's markets can be good places to walk through and talk casually, too. There is always something interesting there to spark conversation. You can also meet people while volunteering for a cause you are interested in.
framistan6 years ago
Go to a bookstore and get a book on jokes. Always have 2 or 3 jokes (clean ones) memorized that you can tell when opportunity presents itself during gatherings. If you go to the Barnes & Noble bookstore, they also sell games. It might be a good idea to carry a small dice game in your pocket. Not card games and not some big board game. Just something small and simple and easy to learn quickly. Soon, you will have several people at your table Hopefully several nice gals too. A good game is like the one called "L.C.R" (left,center right). or the dice game called "GREED" or something similar that appeals to you and you think might appeal to the ladies. Also, the bookstore has some books on MAGIC... and if you know a couple goofy magic tricks it is also a good idea (if you have the personality to do magic.) These things don't cost much, and gets you into conversations with the ladies without the pressure of "asking" for a DATE. Ask your victim... I mean the nice girl ... over to your table to play the dice game with your friends. This ruse reminds me of a friend of mine who always says, "Silly girls!... Tricks are for YOU." Also, these ideas will help you develop your MOJO (your personality and confidence around the ladies)
Bathe on a daily basis. And brush your teeth at least twice a day. Pretty much do all of the good hygiene stuff. Grow your hair to at least six inches. Make sure you have black hair, then insert 1 to 8 ounces of hair gel into your hair. Comb it around and up like The Fonz. Next, drive to school in a bright red Ferrari. When driving by cute girls, be sure to play fashionable rap music at your stereo's maximum level. Also, pop the collar on your denim jacket and run a comb through your hair while wearing hipster sunglasses and making clicking noises through your grin. If they don't notice, lean on your car's horn until they look at you. Then move your glasses down your nose and wink while firing finger guns at them. Make sure you have their attention by revving your engine and then ask if they "want to ride The Love Machine." Works every time.
lemonie6 years ago

Don't go looking.
Get into people and allow them to get into you.
This means being generally sociable with real people. (and patience)

L
Vyger6 years ago
wear a big gold chain around your neck. At almost $2,000 an ounce that is a language that every female will understand.
Kiteman Vyger6 years ago
It's right up there with the stripes of a wasp and a snake's rattle - it's a universal signal to avoid something.

;-)

What noise does a gangsta's phone make? Bling-bling!
ganglion6 years ago
I find this one tricky as well. Two comments from female friends that I think are worth passing on:

- Relationships are meant to be fun. I.e. look for someone you think you might have a good time with and approach it in that spirit.
- Another woman was saying to remember the friendship side of things. Girlfriend = girl + friend.

Not that I'm claiming I'm that great with romance.
rickharris6 years ago
There is NO golden ticket that always works.

Be yourself
Be interesting and Be interested in others.
be a good listener.

Look smart, clean and tidy (no matter what the fashion)
Go to places and develop interests that others share.
Don't try too hard but be nice.

Be brave, your going to get rejected - It's NOT the end of the world. Smile and say OK, later minds may be change!

You need to approach, say hello, introduce yourself, say something like "I am new here, your new?, I have been here a long time and noticed you before. Ask them something they might know the answer to (even if you already know the answer). Go to places where you have a chance to talk to people - loud music, individual activities, silent places aren't conducive to making friends.
Sheesh, this topic gets asked so much ! Take a good search around on the site, and you'll find a lot of tips, some of them are even good ones ;-)

Steve
Kiteman6 years ago
Join clubs, go shopping, use a launderette, etc, etc and, everywhere you go, be friendly to everybody (male and female), smile and chat openly.