What are some really funny jokes?

I want to amuse my friends with funny jokes, do u hav any good ones?

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your mama's so fat she has to use cheat codes for wii fit! =D
what side of a chicken has the most feathers the out side
what kind of fish has to knees a tuneefish but if you say it the right way its tunafish
Your mama's so poor she bounces food stamps.
According to Richard Wiseman's LaughLab experiment, which tried to find the world's funniest joke, the no. 1 best joke is:<br /> <br /> <table class="cquote" style="border-bottom-style: none;border-right-style: none;background-color: transparent;margin: auto;border-collapse: collapse;border-left-style: none;"> <tbody> <tr> <td style="text-align: left;padding-bottom: 10.0px;padding-left: 10.0px;padding-right: 10.0px;font-family: Times New Roman , serif;color: rgb(178,183,242);font-size: 35.0px;font-weight: bold;padding-top: 10.0px;" valign="top" width="20"> </td> <td style="padding-bottom: 4.0px;padding-left: 10.0px;padding-right: 10.0px;padding-top: 4.0px;" valign="top">"Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?""<br /> <br /> </td> </tr> </tbody> </table>
It ehn't funneh when yer a hunter.
I think it's funny and I'm a hunter. ^A bargain hunter.^

No, really, I'm not any kind of hunter, though that might be different if I didn't live in suburbia.

I don't think this joke targets hunters--it's not of the "how many hunters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?" school. The hunters are just a vehicle to exploit the common human situation of a misunderstanding leading to disaster for the purposes of making a joke.  
I was only feigning disdain, no worries. :-)
Whew... OK, good.
anna rox (author)  Johnny Football Hero8 years ago
hahaha that is funy!!! thnx!
Glad ya liked it. :-)
what do you call a dog with no legs...(looking real sad)it don't matter ,he won't come anyway
anna rox (author)  bobby sissom8 years ago
Re-design8 years ago
Two hunters are in a cabin deep in the woods.  At first light they are awoken by a grizzlie bear just out of hibernation mad as all heck and hasn't eaten all winter.

He's hitting the door with all his weight and it's beginning to fail.

On hunter calmly begins to put on his running shoes.

The other hunter is bewildered. "What are you doing?  You can't outrun a bear."

The other hunter says, "I don't have to outrun the bear.  I've just got to outrun YOU".

anna rox (author)  Re-design8 years ago
You can change it to two environtalists or hippies out smokin dope or what ever sounds more acceptable to your audience.