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What is the most humorous definition of the phrase "staple my biscuit?"?

It just came up at work is all.... "staple my biscuit" Ready.... GO!

Putzer8 years ago
Premature termination of a defecation sequence. Eg. "I was on the throne but the commercials ended early, so I had to staple my biscuit."
BeanGolem (author)  Putzer8 years ago
I really honestly never use the term... but LOL. I really did. Such imagery. That a single sphincter muscle could be akin to driving metal through paper forcefully.
I'm imagining some sort of play, perhaps a musical play, in which actors dressed as various foods are cavorting about the stage in formation. After a particularly spirited dance number, "Breakfast," Biscuit hurriedly exits stage left and snags his costume on a protruding metal railing, which tears a large and unfortunately placed hole in the golden brown fabric of the biscuit bottom. With little time to spare before the start of "Southern Dinner," the actor rushes backstage to the costume department, and breathlessly pleads, "We're going to need to staple my biscuit."
"Staple my biscuit" is a phrase which alludes to absolutely nothing of historical importance,(except staples and biscuits obviously). It may be considered as an example of a special class of lingual or literary phrases or words known as "Lingual Absurdity" or "Literary Absurdity" The speaker or writer of an absurdity usually has one purpose in mind, which is to make the hearer or reader laugh hysterically. In theory , laughing hysterically reinforces memory of the absurd event and /or the speaker / writer of the absurdity (if the absurdity actually never happened) In rare cases , an absurdity such as "staple my biscuit" may actually refer to an event that really occurred, whether intentionally or by accident. If no serious harm came from someone's biscuit being stapled, then the situation was probably viewed humorously, and the catch phrase "staple my biscuit" was coined to commemorate the event. A person then would use the phrase "staple my biscuit" from time to time as a memory aid , so as not to get in a situation again where their biscuit would be in danger of being stapled. The End