my paRents recently got a divorce and well custody is like ping pong hey mom ping hey dad pong ( u get the point) but they never see the kids point of view ( kids aren't aloud to play ping pong )cause they are the ball but what your point of view would u be ok leaving someone u promised to love in sickness and in health and cause some serious trama for your kids or do u think thats ok ..................................................GOOD OR BAD u decide .

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My personal view here is.... Divorce is NEVER OK. You get married to spend the rest of your life with someone. If you can't keep that commitment yourself and/or there is any chance at all you think your partner can't. DON'T GET MARRIED. I do understand things happen but people treat marriage like a sport...you don't like how much money your making or another "team" has better perks you just switch teams. it doesn't work like that people. how hard is it to stay single and do what you want....or make a decision and stick to it? not hard at all.....people are just stupid. As far as you go kid....take a stand..... this is entirely your parents fault and you tell them straight up. I'll decide where I go and when since you two are to immature to make smart choices. if they don't like it.....tell them to stop being idiots. I believe all males should have vasectomies at birth. you need to get a dog license, you need a cat license, you need a license to see if your smart enough to drive a car or even do some jobs. You should damn well need a license to have children. if your application is approved.... you can reverse your vasectomy. Sorry kid, I know what its like..... my parents divorced when I was 7...... all I can say is.....move on.....and don't take there shyt, they lost there privileges to decide who you live with
So, in my situation, I should have stayed married to her, despite her affinity for sleeping with other men every night; until I finally got a disease and died ? I don't think so. Supporting her bad habit is enabling, and I wasn't going to continue to enable her.
no, defiantly divorce the double u hore but you probably coulda seen it coming prior to marrying her if you really sat down and thought about things its not so much that divorcing her was wrong in that situation..... marrying here in the first place was the bad move
but you probably coulda seen it coming prior to marrying her if you really sat down and thought about things

No, there was no way to see that she would get tired of me and seek out others. People do not work that way. One can not read minds, nor predict the future actions of others. As one college (a psych student) said to me once: " believing you can predict complex actions of others is living in fantasy land."
Wow... complete blanket ban on divorce (that got 180o reversed following one comment from Goodhart) and eugenics? That's an impressive amount of moralising.

Let me ask you something- what's the longest romantic relationship you've ever been in? Assuming that you have ever been in one that you are no longer in, couldn't you have seen it wasn't going to last for the rest of your life? Then wouldn't it have been more sensible not to have started in the first place? Or perhaps you married the first person you ever dated and are still together, in which case you're lucky enough to have never had your heart broken because someone turned out not to be the person you thought they were.

Newsflash- you're not the only person whose parents divorced. The difference is, some of us can still see the value in marriage, even if people change over the course of several decades, and perhaps the best option if that happens is for them to stop forcing themselves to continue a pretense of having a normal relationship. I'm damn sure I'd take having one parent around rather than two parents who hated each other but were forcing themselves to live with someone they couldn't stand. Yes, divorce is painful and difficult and bad for any children of the marriage, but sometimes a bad thing is still the best option. Life isn't black and white.
Kryptonite PKM8 years ago
Amen to that. (Raises glass)
my entire point is, Divorce needs to be removed from the marriage equation. People marry because if it doesn't work out they can get divorced. The entire point and reason for getting married is because you are 100% sure that this is the person you want to spend the rest of your life with and when things go bad, you like the person enough to make it work and charge through even though your not happy at the moment.

When you get married, you don't get divorced. Hence "for better or for worse, for richer and for poorer, through sickness and in health" it doesn't say "until I can't stand the b*&h anymore"

P.S. This post is from a long time ago, I only read a couple to catch up, so hopefully I'm relevant.
Divorce needs to be removed from the marriage equation.


It goes without saying that divorce should not be undertaken lightly, or frivolously, or treated as a get-out clause for taking responsibility for your life, but why rule it out altogether?

Divorces are usually bad for children of the marriage, yes, but what if the alternative (infidelity, abuse, etc.) is worse? I don't buy "well you should have seen it coming" or "you shouldn't have got married in the first place" as an excuse. I can't predict the future. Can you?

Look at how much the world changed between 1920 and 1960. With the pace of technological and social progression I can almost guarantee you it will change that much again by 2050. Are you seriously saying that we don't know whether the human race will live on the moon in four decades' time, but you are willing to say with such certainty that the person you want to live with at 20 will still be someone you want to live with at 60 that you want to absolutely rule out any alternative?

If there was no possibility of divorce, I'd probably never get married- I don't know who I'm going to be in a couple of decades, let alone any prospective wife.

I also read an interesting article recently countering the tired argument that "gays are destroying the insitution of marriage" by pointing out that straight people have done a pretty good job over the last sixty years. The loss of stigma associated with children born to unmarried parents, independence and careers for women, contraception, lengthening lifespans and the view that you marry someone for love rather than as a business contract are all changing the role marriage plays.

I haven't even mentioned religion in this response, because I don't consider it relevant. If you think divorce should be outlawed because marriage is a religious institution, fine, but that's not relevant to my (hypothetical) marriage, or my parents', or any of my married or engaged friends (except perhaps one, I guess- YKWYA).

All of this really boils down to one simple argument- rather than attach taboos to certain actions and decree that they are never ok ever, I believe there's no problem with doing "bad" things if they are still the best option. You can quote me on that in any debate about divorce, abortion, euthanasia, etc., you'll probably find me arguing the same corner.

(Incidentally, I wouldn't exist if it were not for divorce- both of my parents were on their second marriages. Not that I'm biased or anything :P)
I agree with what you say, but 100% sure, sure is hard. What if the other person hasn't told you something? What if the person changes?

All I'm saying is that although you deffinitely do not want divorce, sometimes it's inevitable. Whether you wish for it or not. Whether or not you were 100% sure, but maybe not any more.
And yes you are relevant. :D
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