Instructables

Dimension Engineering needs an intern or fulltime thingermajiggerbuilder

Lets pretend that you, intrepid reader-of-postings, have won the lottery. What are you going to blow it on? Beer? Collections of earwaxes from around the world? Bottle-feeding orphan baby whales?

Heck no. You're gonna buy you some welders and a CNC machine and a whole slew of electronic bits and bobs. You'll have laser cutters and plasma cutters and nail cutters and cutters to put a cutting edge on your other cutters. You're gonna have goddamn robots that make MORE robots. A drill? _singular_??? I'll take nine, thank you very much!

If not, then this isn't really a job posting for you.

Still here? Here's the deal. We're desperately dull people. Wretched, really. All we want in life is to make electronic components. No no, not flying electric cars. Just the parts, thank you very much.

Our CUSTOMERS, on the other hand, won't stop taking our parts and doing progressively sillier things with them.  They couldn't be content to make a house. They want a WALKING house. "Hello, yes, I have this robot cow that we use to train for rodeo. Its been on the shelf for ten years since the robo-goring..." they say. My poor children get launched into orbit, sunk to the bottom of the ocean, dragged across antarctica. They've powered chairs, couches, bomb disposal robots and bomberman replicas. I shudder to think what ill-advised schemes we'll be helping to perpetrate when my top secret new (and entirely wholesome) projects are done. It fills me with apoplexy just to consider it.

Obviously uninteresting people like we lot can't test products for interesting circumstances. What we need is someone who would salivate at the directive of "Find some new way to use these shelves full of robot parts. Make it dramatic. Make it a great writeup. The machine shop is to the left. CNCs on the right. Welding is down the hall, electronics is in the middle. Woodworking shop is at the end of the building. Climbing wall is by the bathroom if you get bored. Here's some budget. Do crazier mechatronic things than our customers do. Report back immediately if you accidentally make a roller coaster or a doomsday device."

We certainly do not already have bumper cars, go kart tanks, flame throwers, radio control office chairs, orbotrons and/or backyard roller coasters here. Because those might be interesting. Which we are not. 

Anyway, that is a real job posting. For a real job. For which you could be paid. An intern would be okay, a full time creator-of-things would be even better. You could submit a resume, but afor real consideration I'd need to see a portfolio of projects. We don't really have every tool ever made, but that's just because I took some of them home for the weekend and haven't brought them back. Honestly. We're an electronics manufacturer with a mortising machine. Um, because mortises are good, solid, red blooded American woodworking joints. Very boring. Yup.

Downsides? We're in beautiful Ohio, home of the low cost of living and, um, did I mention the cost of living is low?

Anyway, company website is www.dimensionengineering.com It is a very boring website. Because, you know, very boring people. jobs@ to send portfolios, resumes, or well wishes.


INT3GR8ED1 year ago
I am the most boring, non fun having, gadget building, jack of all, master of none. Hello there! I call myself "INT3GR8ED" (If you cared), lol! Well to put it short i love to integrate items together.
I've only had the opportunity to self teach. My father was a welding engineer, business owner, all arounder! My Life on the farm (sucked) and growing in a machine environment, taught me a lot of mechanically inclined knowledge. I absolutely love tearing one thing apart to come up with something else. I'm currently working on a portable LED drawing board. At the moment its only a LED drawing board. What it can be, WILL be awesome and profitable. I have other ideas as well and always grinding the old gears to do so. Looking for my Million dollar ticket....but there is nothing wrong with consistent stability. On that note I would rather read a thread on boost conversion dc-dc, than watch Television! I'd rather get zapped from my ideas than go out!! Music is very important to me, right after air actually, but thirst for knowledge is definitely third!! Family comes next. The rest varies on a day to day basis!
I currently hold no position for anyone but my self. I've been trying to build a Mechanics/Engineering/Mod-it/ Fiberglassing/Whatever kind of business, poor decisions in the past have led me to poor credit and investors are out of the question. 100% me or nothing in my opinion, then its only me to blame should failure occur....doubtful! Ha! I can however work for some one that is established, Granted this job does/did exist.
This sounds like the most intere......wait! Boring! job i've ever heard of! I am very interested, if the position is still open, Ohio could be interesting!? i was planning on taking my life adventures west, to Oregon, somewhere?! Backpack and Large Suitcase would be it! Currently in the process of finishing up here, currently in South Dakota, Blah! No serenity or people for that matter....(cornfields and hicks, haha!) here in this state. I am high energy and highly motivated for knowledge in the thingermajiggerbuilder field!!! If ur interested in any further conversation or had any questions, let me know.

Thanks for your time, much obliged!
Austin INT3GR8ED Bailey
Bailey for short, Have a good day!
The_Tom1 year ago
you had me at thingermajiggerbuilder
Jayefuu2 years ago
Without a doubt one of the best job advertisements ever written. Well done :)
ElvenChild2 years ago
So just to clarify you want someone who is interesting to use all you interesting tools to make interesting things and get paid for it because you are to totally boring to do it yourself? Darn it i think I am to boring... Where in Ohio did you say this was?
DimensionEng (author)  ElvenChild2 years ago
Yup, that's precisely what we're looking for. We're in Akron, and yes we're still looking for the right person.

Vick Jr2 years ago
Wait wait wait....I thought mythbusters HQ was in CA. lol

Give me four years as a RBE major and I'll get back to ya.
Maybe this is "M9"  (think about it they have m5 and m7 why not m9?).
A-Nony-Mus2 years ago
It's too sad I live on the other side of the country... :(. That said, I don't plan on moving.
virefi2 years ago
From Europe, interested ?
May be I've some crazy ideas, conserning electronics, GPRS, and publicity, in TAXI and long distance bus.
I Can send a xls file with basic concept

Best regards
virefi@hotmail.com
JHSTUBA2 years ago
I'm sending you guys an E-mail right now!
I saw the posting and thought "Great, they're probably on the other side of the country" than saw you were in Ohio! (I live here too)
Then I went to your website - you guys are only about 20 min. from my house! Hooray!!!
-Gabe
badideasrus2 years ago
and i lack serious electrical understanding......
but all with time, right?
badideasrus2 years ago
I LIVE IN OHIO!!! WHERE? WHERE? the only thing i lack is the knowledge unfortunately. i'm sure i could figure it out, but i don't think that's what their looking for.... what would being an intern be like? what would i need to know? i've had all sorts of ideas for robots.... like a small desktop sized contraption you can strap a violin into.... or my robotic airsoft tank, with enemy determining skills...... (all theoretical as of yet. low on both the cash and the programming whatzits)
medecandia2 years ago
I do not have those skills and I just had to wipe the drool from my mouth. Damn you electronics community - you win this round. Best job posting Ihave ever seen in my life.
jeff-o2 years ago
Omg, best job posting ever. I suddenly have a desperate urge to move to Ohio...
aw02 years ago
yes!
Bump! This ought to be featured; it sounds absolutely wonderful. If I had mad robot making skillz I'd be chomping at the bit.
Agreed.
armynavy172 years ago
If I had any desire to live in Ohio, I'd jump on this.
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