Driving Stories

I got my permit a couple of days ago. Driving just feels right. Any of you new drivers? Got any white knucked parents screaming WE'RE GONNA DIE! digging their fingernails into the dashboard yet? Do any of the rest of you have good stories of back-in-the-day driving or now? Funniest thing a cop has said?

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Kiteman9 years ago
My first car was an old Mini, and I was one of only three students that drove to school. Result - Fridays were spent in town instead of in lessons, as a car-load drove down to the snooker hall.

One rainy day, there were five of us in the Mini, and I was driving down the hill into town when I had to brake. Well, I wanted to brake.

Instead, I found myself aqua-planing down the hill with four other teenagers all convinced they were about to die...



Or the time I shot over a hump-backed bridge in a built-up area at well over 40mph (in the same Mini), straight into a radar-trap. At the same time, I missed my gears and crashed it into reverse - that saved my license, because the officer with the radar gun was doubled up laughing at me and forgot to point the gun at me.



Or there was the time I was a passenger in a different Mini, again there were five of us, driving from Manchester to Blackpool to see the illuminations. Then Kitegirl (now Kitewife) spent the whole journey sitting on my knee. Overloading kept us down to around 40mph, even on the motorway, and Kitegirl had to lie down whenever we saw a police car. When we got there, I discovered a slight problem - I couldn't walk! All that time with a (cute) weight on my lap had completely cut the blood supply off. I was numb from the hips down, and had to crawl out of the car and lie on the pavement until the circulation kicked in again.
LOL, I'm sorry but, WHAT"S UP WITH YOU BRITS AND YOUR TINY CARS?!?!?
Tiny?

To a Yank, maybe. Years ago, we went to Florida and hired a hatchback. We found that most car-park spaces were wide enough for us to turn around in the space! Insane.

As for the Mini - it's a design classic, dominated international rallying for years, and is far quicker in urban driving than anything larger. Have you seen the chase scene in Bourne Identity? That's true, that is.

In my younger, rasher days I drove a Mini City with a 998cc engine. A fellow sixth-former drove a 3-litre Ford Capri Sport. It was brown stuff off a shovel in a straight line on an open road, but I could beat him across town every time. Not only did my Mini fit through tiny gaps in traffic, the whole thing weighed less than a tonne, and most of the weight was in the engine over the front wheels - no matter which way you pointed it, it went there. That, plus the tiny turning circle, and even shorter wheel-base mean that the Mini is still, for my money, the best short-distance car around. And so easy to maintain - no need for jacks or lifts, I just rolled it over onto an old mattress!

I especially prefer it for driving off main roads - I grew up in the North West, steep hills (I learned my 3-point turn on a 1-in-4), roads less than six feet wide with adverse cambers, no verge, no white lines, no cats' eyes, no lighting. I never met driving conditions a Mini couldn't cope with, even dry loose sand at the beach.

I only stopped driving my Mini when I stuck it into the side of a pub whilst showing off for a girl. It was bent too badly to fix. :-(

On the plus side, that's when Kitewife chose to ask me out, using the crash as an excuse to take me out for a drink, "to get over it".

Unfortunately, she now won't let me buy another one - not only does it fail every modern safety test, she knows exactly what I'd be like behind the wheel...
If our car's maintenance was that easy... Your point is proven, but one I would like to make.... I am SO not a "Yank"
What do you mean, not a Yank? You live in America - that's the definition of "Yank" to somebody whose great grandfather was a passing American soldier in WW1.

I bet you have a holdall full of nylon stockings as well, you rat.

;-)
FYI, in "the South" (in America) a "Yank", "Yankee", or "Damyank" is a Northerner :]
No, RS is what I call, a pseudo-brit. ;-)
xD

Can I just call him a poser?
Onion sauce!! Onion sauce!!
Um?
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