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How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a Velociraptor?

I know this question comes up a lot in life but someone has been nice enough to help people answer it, only problem is last time I woke up cradled in the arms of a Raptor it survived about 35 seconds before I butchered and fried it...

There's a club of such people, Chuck Norris is still working on the T-shirt.

Anyway the quiz thinks 1 minute, 41 seconds...

Link via Neatorama

raptor survival.bmp
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1-100 of 196Next »
5
skunkbait says: Dec 20, 2008. 6:26 AM
I would declare unilateral disarmament, and hope the velociraptor would follow suit. I'm sure if we just sat down and talked, we could find some common ground.
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to skunkbaitDec 20, 2008. 7:37 AM
Hippy I'll still stab the bugger and get the grill fired up... Raptor burgers, mmm talon and eye sandwiches...
5
skunkbait in reply to killerjackalopeDec 20, 2008. 7:41 AM
I'm sure that just like you, the VR would be much happier as an herbivore. Why can't we all just give peas a chance?
11
barrax in reply to skunkbaitJan 10, 2009. 9:22 AM
because Raptors taste better than peas, lol.
19
bumpus in reply to barraxJan 10, 2009. 9:37 AM
Please don't bump older topics.
33
Plasmana in reply to bumpusApr 29, 2009. 11:09 AM
Is that your job on instructables? Telling people not to bump up old topics? LOL
19
bumpus in reply to PlasmanaApr 29, 2009. 5:33 PM
Mebbe. :D And stop it.
16
Lithium Rain in reply to bumpusApr 30, 2009. 7:31 AM
If you don't like it, don't click on the bumped topic.
11
barrax in reply to bumpusJan 10, 2009. 1:07 PM
sorry. :@(
7
dark sponge says: Dec 21, 2008. 3:56 PM
I could survive for 1 minute, 16 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor
7
dark sponge in reply to dark spongeDec 21, 2008. 4:00 PM
This quiz is pointless. If I was chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor in the same way the picture at the beginning shows, I would run to the end of my chain farthest away from the velociraptor. It wouldn't be able to reach me because it's chain is as long as mine and it is attatched to the opposite end of the bed. I just owned that quiz.
33
Plasmana in reply to dark spongeApr 29, 2009. 11:07 AM
Good point!
1
blugyblug in reply to dark spongeJan 16, 2009. 1:18 AM
TRUE
33
Plasmana says: Jan 16, 2009. 1:52 AM
51 seconds... :-(
cormac3050 in reply to PlasmanaApr 26, 2009. 11:19 AM
Same... ~('_')~
its a lion says: Jan 19, 2009. 4:53 PM
1 minute, 13 seconds. That quiz is pretty funny. I would definately run to the end of my chain if he lunged at me. It would look like a cartoon.
3
Sandisk1duo says: Jan 1, 2009. 3:03 AM
76 sec woo!
23
Flumpkins says: Dec 31, 2008. 5:48 PM
OMG 38 SEC :O
1
goldenbacon says: Dec 18, 2008. 7:32 PM
It said I would end up killing the raptor, Hmm...
1
jedi pen-gui-n says: Dec 18, 2008. 6:17 AM
1:13 they failed to ask me if i would use my lightsaber. I would. Then the raptor's time would be :15
5
fwjs28 says: Dec 15, 2008. 2:08 PM
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 57 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a> <p>Created by <a href="http://www.bunkbeds.net">Bunk Beds.net</a></p>
5
fwjs28 in reply to fwjs28Dec 15, 2008. 2:08 PM
1min 57 secs
13
purduecer says: Dec 9, 2008. 8:24 PM
*Inserts xkcd references*
That depends on how close I was to a bay view window, and also how many doors I could put between myself and the raptor
ravebot says: Dec 9, 2008. 2:56 PM
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 54 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a> <p>Created by <a href="http://www.bunkbeds.net">Bunk Beds.net</a></p>
1
goldenbacon says: Oct 26, 2008. 4:13 PM
1 minut 43 seconds for me
22
KentsOkay in reply to goldenbaconOct 30, 2008. 6:20 AM
Dang! No more second place for me...
19
bumpus in reply to goldenbaconOct 26, 2008. 4:19 PM
Thanks for the bump! :D
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to bumpusOct 27, 2008. 4:16 PM
Bumpy Bumperson, get you here! I told you about bumping the other children, go sit in the naughty corner.
16
Lithium Rain in reply to killerjackalopeOct 27, 2008. 7:01 PM
.
19
bumpus in reply to killerjackalopeOct 27, 2008. 5:00 PM
:( I can haz dunce hat?
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to bumpusOct 27, 2008. 5:20 PM
You can haz slap in face. I ated your cheesecakez
19
bumpus in reply to killerjackalopeOct 27, 2008. 5:26 PM
:(
Room of chat plz
16
Lithium Rain in reply to bumpusOct 27, 2008. 7:01 PM
.
bump.sign.jpg
19
bumpus in reply to Lithium RainOct 27, 2008. 7:20 PM
-us.
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to bumpusOct 27, 2008. 8:42 PM
-aurus
19
bumpus in reply to killerjackalopeOct 28, 2008. 7:20 AM
-enstein
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to bumpusOct 28, 2008. 7:34 AM
-Mcdouggal
22
KentsOkay in reply to killerjackalopeOct 28, 2008. 7:40 AM
-in road
5
Rishnai says: Oct 12, 2008. 10:23 PM
1 minute, 19 seconds.

I fail to see why, if the raptor and I are chained to different posts as per the diagram, I can't just go to the end of my chain and drag the bed towards the shotgun until I can reach it, them do me some raptor hunting. If our chains are attached to different points, there is surely a small space where I can go that the raptor can't, since the circles aren't concentric.

Totally nerding it up over here. Geometry + velociraptors = a meal to rival full-grown, fresh-caught gator meat.
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to RishnaiOct 13, 2008. 2:38 AM
To me the way it's looking is the raptor has a long neck... I'll dine with you on that one though, still have to kill and eat a gator... I reckon a big axe or some such is enough... Maybe just a toothpick if I'm feeling adventurous...
2
Steamdnt in reply to killerjackalopeOct 18, 2008. 4:08 PM
If you have time, the Death Touch could always work. Then again, waiting three days for Subdural Hematoma to form could be a bit dangerous.
2
darth acexxacer in reply to SteamdntOct 25, 2008. 10:17 PM
well depends the Shaolin warriors had several "Death Touches" or Dim Mak some take several days while others are instant. I know 2 but I've heard that there is 20+
2
Steamdnt in reply to darth acexxacerOct 26, 2008. 1:25 PM
Yes, there are a lot of different variations, and different effects.
19
bumpus in reply to SteamdntOct 26, 2008. 4:20 PM
Thanks for the bump! :D
2
Steamdnt in reply to bumpusOct 26, 2008. 5:32 PM
Is Instructables a bumpable system?
19
bumpus in reply to SteamdntOct 26, 2008. 5:43 PM
I was being sarcastic. You and Darth have bumped an old topic, with no point intended...
2
darth acexxacer in reply to bumpusOct 26, 2008. 6:47 PM
the last post was a week ago I highly doubt that that counts as a "bump"
16
Lithium Rain in reply to darth acexxacerOct 26, 2008. 6:51 PM
Any comment automatically "bumps" the thread. It makes the thread show up under recent activity.

Snap, I just bumped it.
15
knoxarama in reply to Lithium RainOct 28, 2008. 3:56 PM
is bumping condagious? i dont want to catch a bump. maybey a pump or a lump, but not a bump. so tell me stump, can i get a bump?
5
skunkbait in reply to knoxaramaOct 30, 2008. 2:02 AM
Jump, Jump! Get over the hump! Shake your rump, but not down in the dump, or down in the sump. Don't be a chump! -Forrest Gump
5
Rishnai in reply to knoxaramaOct 28, 2008. 9:05 PM
Rofl... High five!
2
darth acexxacer in reply to knoxaramaOct 28, 2008. 4:06 PM
thats a delicious rhyme
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to SteamdntOct 18, 2008. 4:20 PM
Hum, I may get a little bored while waiting though...
5
Rishnai in reply to killerjackalopeOct 14, 2008. 9:44 PM
And probably awful breath, too... I'm pretty sure there are at least five different ways to kill a large critter with a soda straw. Toothpicks are probably even more useful.
hippos are dangerous says: Oct 29, 2008. 6:25 PM
1 minute 47 seconds
15
knoxarama says: Oct 28, 2008. 4:02 PM
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, des moines is toxic, texas is toxic and france is extraordinarliy toxic. well, what have you all to say to that? are fish invading your brains?
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to knoxaramaOct 28, 2008. 5:19 PM
You been sniffing crack? Either way conversation with you is toxic, there's more than fish in your head.
15
knoxarama says: Oct 28, 2008. 3:52 PM
1:06
2
emuman4evr says: Oct 26, 2008. 6:09 PM
1:32, now lets try with all faked out answers...
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to emuman4evrOct 27, 2008. 4:16 PM
Resorting to cheating for an extra few seconds of existence...

well bumped matey.
22
KentsOkay says: Sep 22, 2008. 5:22 PM
1 minute, 38 seconds... Not to bad in my opinion, considering my height disadvantage... What do these people know about being chained in the vicinity of velociraptors anyways?
4
AnarchistAsian in reply to KentsOkaySep 24, 2008. 5:21 PM
you only beat me by 4 seconds!!!!
22
KentsOkay in reply to AnarchistAsianSep 24, 2008. 7:46 PM
You are still defeated...
4
AnarchistAsian in reply to KentsOkaySep 25, 2008. 2:42 PM
we'll see!
22
KentsOkay in reply to AnarchistAsianOct 18, 2008. 9:34 AM
Or not, there's a distinct lack of velociraptors about...
16
Lithium Rain in reply to KentsOkayOct 18, 2008. 10:39 AM
For now...
22
KentsOkay in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:27 AM
Very true...
16
Lithium Rain in reply to KentsOkayOct 18, 2008. 11:29 AM
The day they have dinosaurs is the day I see them. I don't care how far away it is. I don't care how much it costs. I don't care how long it takes. If they manage to get a dinosaur somehow, I'm seeing it!
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:37 AM
If you could choose between dinosaur and a million dollars? If you choose the million, you can never see the dinosaur. If you choose the dinosaur, you will never reach that sort of money.
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 11:41 AM
Dinosaur. Hands down.

The experience would mean much more to me than a million bucks. Money is only a tool. I'm sure not going to miss out on a life-long dream to get more of this tool! That would be silly.
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:56 AM
*mocking voice*Money is only a tool

YOURE just a tool! Money isn't everything. It's the ONLY thing!

Hello? You're seeing me. A dinosaur. ish. thing.
holymackerel.jpg31fish.1.600.jpg
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 12:04 PM
1) Call me that again and you will experience a whole new definition of pain. 2) I am sorry your life is so unfulfilling that amassing wealth is your primary objective in life. Also, if all the banks fail and you lose everything, you will see that there is indeed far more to life...
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 12:39 PM
There's always Euros......
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 12:40 PM
If the US goes down, the world goes down. Everything is connected.
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 12:46 PM
Well, youre just a big bundle of sunshine! I'll go to Iceland! They spend exactly $0 U.S. in army support, so you know they ahve a lot o money! And If that doesn't work, I'll just migrate to Pluto! Since it's not a planet anymore, real estate is at its lowest! Mwahahah!!
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 1:33 PM
Haha...
2
Steamdnt in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 4:03 PM
Maybe you can compromise, KK will sell you his dinosaur for $1000000 then your both happy!
22
KentsOkay in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 11:38 AM
LOL!
16
Lithium Rain in reply to KentsOkayOct 18, 2008. 11:59 AM
You LOLIng at me, you hater hater?
22
KentsOkay in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 12:03 PM
No, KK
16
Lithium Rain in reply to KentsOkayOct 18, 2008. 12:07 PM
Ah, okay.
22
KentsOkay in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:34 AM
Same here, I think it would be utterly amusing for us to clone, oh say a velociraptor, and it turning out to resembling a giant chicken...
16
Lithium Rain in reply to KentsOkayOct 18, 2008. 11:38 AM
Haha! That would be hilarious...
22
KentsOkay in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:43 AM
Yah...
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to KentsOkaySep 23, 2008. 4:28 AM
Well excuses excuses... They asked me about it...
22
KentsOkay in reply to killerjackalopeSep 23, 2008. 7:12 AM
Ahh, much experience with ferocious birds ehh?
107
killerjackalope (author) in reply to KentsOkaySep 24, 2008. 11:07 AM
Too much for my own good!
22
KentsOkay in reply to killerjackalopeSep 24, 2008. 7:46 PM
Hehe...
22
KentsOkay in reply to KentsOkaySep 22, 2008. 5:31 PM
Woot, only the mutant rabbit thing outlasted me...
22
KentsOkay in reply to KentsOkaySep 22, 2008. 5:25 PM
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 38 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a>
22
KentsOkay in reply to KentsOkaySep 22, 2008. 5:25 PM
Dash it that's right... no html...
7
Keith-Kid says: Oct 18, 2008. 11:38 AM
This is stupid! it says I can only last as much as Adriana Monk! Blasphemy! I've been dealing with these little jerks for millions of years! They always take more than they can chew!
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 11:47 AM
Oho, so you think you're a tough guy? Let me tell you something-you wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fight with me.
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 11:53 AM
Do I think I'm a tough guy? No. IZ think I'm a tough 60 feet tall radioactive dinosaur. And true, I wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fight with you, since I'd win in less than 4 seconds. Ka-SPLAT!
16
Lithium Rain in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 11:59 AM
In real life 'tis another story...
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Lithium RainOct 18, 2008. 12:02 PM
In real life, I'm only 59 feet tall....the camera adds 10 pounds and one foot. *imagine a picture of someone with 3 feet*
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 12:02 PM
Besides, there is no such thing as a real life. Everyone knows that its just a myth. We are in the matrix.
7
Keith-Kid in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 11:59 AM
Hmmn.. Pictured: Keith-Kid, Bumpus, Adriana Monk.
godzilla-vs-kong-2.jpg
7
n8man in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 2:24 PM
You forgot me, I am in your stomach about to nuke you.
22
KentsOkay in reply to Keith-KidOct 18, 2008. 12:05 PM
Ok, now THAT's funny...
1-100 of 196Next »
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