Instructables

How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a Velociraptor?

I know this question comes up a lot in life but someone has been nice enough to help people answer it, only problem is last time I woke up cradled in the arms of a Raptor it survived about 35 seconds before I butchered and fried it...

There's a club of such people, Chuck Norris is still working on the T-shirt.

Anyway the quiz thinks 1 minute, 41 seconds...

Link via Neatorama

Picture of How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a Velociraptor?
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skunkbait5 years ago
I would declare unilateral disarmament, and hope the velociraptor would follow suit. I'm sure if we just sat down and talked, we could find some common ground.
killerjackalope (author)  skunkbait5 years ago
Hippy I'll still stab the bugger and get the grill fired up... Raptor burgers, mmm talon and eye sandwiches...
I'm sure that just like you, the VR would be much happier as an herbivore. Why can't we all just give peas a chance?
because Raptors taste better than peas, lol.
bumpus barrax5 years ago
Please don't bump older topics.
Plasmana bumpus5 years ago
Is that your job on instructables? Telling people not to bump up old topics? LOL
bumpus Plasmana5 years ago
Mebbe. :D And stop it.
If you don't like it, don't click on the bumped topic.
barrax bumpus5 years ago
sorry. :@(
dark sponge5 years ago
I could survive for 1 minute, 16 seconds chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor
This quiz is pointless. If I was chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor in the same way the picture at the beginning shows, I would run to the end of my chain farthest away from the velociraptor. It wouldn't be able to reach me because it's chain is as long as mine and it is attatched to the opposite end of the bed. I just owned that quiz.
Good point!
TRUE
Plasmana5 years ago
51 seconds... :-(
Same... ~('_')~
its a lion5 years ago
1 minute, 13 seconds. That quiz is pretty funny. I would definately run to the end of my chain if he lunged at me. It would look like a cartoon.
Sandisk1duo5 years ago
76 sec woo!
Flumpkins5 years ago
OMG 38 SEC :O
goldenbacon5 years ago
It said I would end up killing the raptor, Hmm...
1:13 they failed to ask me if i would use my lightsaber. I would. Then the raptor's time would be :15
fwjs285 years ago
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 57 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a> <p>Created by <a href="http://www.bunkbeds.net">Bunk Beds.net</a></p>
fwjs28 fwjs285 years ago
1min 57 secs
purduecer5 years ago
ravebot5 years ago
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 54 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a> <p>Created by <a href="http://www.bunkbeds.net">Bunk Beds.net</a></p>
goldenbacon6 years ago
1 minut 43 seconds for me
Dang! No more second place for me...
Thanks for the bump! :D
killerjackalope (author)  bumpus6 years ago
Bumpy Bumperson, get you here! I told you about bumping the other children, go sit in the naughty corner.
:( I can haz dunce hat?
killerjackalope (author)  bumpus6 years ago
You can haz slap in face. I ated your cheesecakez
:(
Room of chat plz
.
bump.sign.jpg
-us.
killerjackalope (author)  bumpus6 years ago
-aurus
-enstein
killerjackalope (author)  bumpus6 years ago
-Mcdouggal
-in road
.
Rishnai6 years ago
1 minute, 19 seconds.

I fail to see why, if the raptor and I are chained to different posts as per the diagram, I can't just go to the end of my chain and drag the bed towards the shotgun until I can reach it, them do me some raptor hunting. If our chains are attached to different points, there is surely a small space where I can go that the raptor can't, since the circles aren't concentric.

Totally nerding it up over here. Geometry + velociraptors = a meal to rival full-grown, fresh-caught gator meat.
killerjackalope (author)  Rishnai6 years ago
To me the way it's looking is the raptor has a long neck... I'll dine with you on that one though, still have to kill and eat a gator... I reckon a big axe or some such is enough... Maybe just a toothpick if I'm feeling adventurous...
If you have time, the Death Touch could always work. Then again, waiting three days for Subdural Hematoma to form could be a bit dangerous.
well depends the Shaolin warriors had several "Death Touches" or Dim Mak some take several days while others are instant. I know 2 but I've heard that there is 20+
Yes, there are a lot of different variations, and different effects.
bumpus Steamdnt6 years ago
Thanks for the bump! :D
Steamdnt bumpus6 years ago
Is Instructables a bumpable system?
bumpus Steamdnt6 years ago
I was being sarcastic. You and Darth have bumped an old topic, with no point intended...
the last post was a week ago I highly doubt that that counts as a "bump"
Any comment automatically "bumps" the thread. It makes the thread show up under recent activity.

Snap, I just bumped it.
is bumping condagious? i dont want to catch a bump. maybey a pump or a lump, but not a bump. so tell me stump, can i get a bump?
Jump, Jump! Get over the hump! Shake your rump, but not down in the dump, or down in the sump. Don't be a chump! -Forrest Gump
Rofl... High five!
thats a delicious rhyme
killerjackalope (author)  Steamdnt6 years ago
Hum, I may get a little bored while waiting though...
And probably awful breath, too... I'm pretty sure there are at least five different ways to kill a large critter with a soda straw. Toothpicks are probably even more useful.
1 minute 47 seconds
knoxarama6 years ago
weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeell, des moines is toxic, texas is toxic and france is extraordinarliy toxic. well, what have you all to say to that? are fish invading your brains?
killerjackalope (author)  knoxarama6 years ago
You been sniffing crack? Either way conversation with you is toxic, there's more than fish in your head.
knoxarama6 years ago
1:06
emuman4evr6 years ago
1:32, now lets try with all faked out answers...
killerjackalope (author)  emuman4evr6 years ago
Resorting to cheating for an extra few seconds of existence...

well bumped matey.
KentsOkay6 years ago
1 minute, 38 seconds... Not to bad in my opinion, considering my height disadvantage... What do these people know about being chained in the vicinity of velociraptors anyways?
you only beat me by 4 seconds!!!!
You are still defeated...
we'll see!
Or not, there's a distinct lack of velociraptors about...
For now...
Very true...
The day they have dinosaurs is the day I see them. I don't care how far away it is. I don't care how much it costs. I don't care how long it takes. If they manage to get a dinosaur somehow, I'm seeing it!
If you could choose between dinosaur and a million dollars? If you choose the million, you can never see the dinosaur. If you choose the dinosaur, you will never reach that sort of money.
Dinosaur. Hands down.

The experience would mean much more to me than a million bucks. Money is only a tool. I'm sure not going to miss out on a life-long dream to get more of this tool! That would be silly.
*mocking voice*Money is only a tool

YOURE just a tool! Money isn't everything. It's the ONLY thing!

Hello? You're seeing me. A dinosaur. ish. thing.
holymackerel.jpg31fish.1.600.jpg
1) Call me that again and you will experience a whole new definition of pain. 2) I am sorry your life is so unfulfilling that amassing wealth is your primary objective in life. Also, if all the banks fail and you lose everything, you will see that there is indeed far more to life...
There's always Euros......
If the US goes down, the world goes down. Everything is connected.
Well, youre just a big bundle of sunshine! I'll go to Iceland! They spend exactly $0 U.S. in army support, so you know they ahve a lot o money! And If that doesn't work, I'll just migrate to Pluto! Since it's not a planet anymore, real estate is at its lowest! Mwahahah!!
Haha...
Maybe you can compromise, KK will sell you his dinosaur for $1000000 then your both happy!
LOL!
You LOLIng at me, you hater hater?
No, KK
Ah, okay.
Same here, I think it would be utterly amusing for us to clone, oh say a velociraptor, and it turning out to resembling a giant chicken...
Haha! That would be hilarious...
Yah...
killerjackalope (author)  KentsOkay6 years ago
Well excuses excuses... They asked me about it...
Ahh, much experience with ferocious birds ehh?
killerjackalope (author)  KentsOkay6 years ago
Too much for my own good!
Hehe...
Woot, only the mutant rabbit thing outlasted me...
<a style=" background: #000 url(http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/img/badge.jpg) no-repeat 0 0; display: block; width: 322px; height: 157px; text-align: center; padding-top: 150px; text-decoration: none; font-family: Times New Roman, serif; font-size: 30px; color: #ff9900; " href="http://www.bunkbeds.net/velociraptor/"> <span style="display: none;">I could survive for</span> 1 minute, 38 seconds <span style="display: none;">chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor</span> </a>
Dash it that's right... no html...
Keith-Kid6 years ago
This is stupid! it says I can only last as much as Adriana Monk! Blasphemy! I've been dealing with these little jerks for millions of years! They always take more than they can chew!
Oho, so you think you're a tough guy? Let me tell you something-you wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fight with me.
Do I think I'm a tough guy? No. IZ think I'm a tough 60 feet tall radioactive dinosaur. And true, I wouldn't last 5 minutes in a fight with you, since I'd win in less than 4 seconds. Ka-SPLAT!
Hmmn.. Pictured: Keith-Kid, Bumpus, Adriana Monk.
godzilla-vs-kong-2.jpg
n8man Keith-Kid6 years ago
You forgot me, I am in your stomach about to nuke you.
Ok, now THAT's funny...
Only ona has been able to defeat me. The dark one.
Godzilla_against_Barney.jpg
In real life 'tis another story...
In real life, I'm only 59 feet tall....the camera adds 10 pounds and one foot. *imagine a picture of someone with 3 feet*
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