How to look like a pretentious jerk

Include this in every single email you send "CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this electronic message is confidential and intended only for the use of the individual or entity named above. If the reader of this message is not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any dissemination, distribution, or copying of this e-mail or any of its components is strictly prohibited. If you have received this e-mail in error, please "reply" to the sender." The terribly funny part is my coworker attaches these to the most mundane emails, this one from a reminder of a meeting tomorrow. But the real kicker? his email ends in ocfl.net, as in orange county government, which means ALL his email is public record under the sunshine laws. People are tards.

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Goodhart9 years ago
Actually, the company I work for requires us to attach such a message for legal reasons *shrug*
zachninme9 years ago
My friend used to attach this:
("----" replacing his name, which is written very pompusly, Mr. First M. Last-style)

This e-mail, and any attachments hereto, are intended for use by the
addressee(s) only and may contain information that is (i) protected by ----, (ii) mine, (iii) confidential information of ---- and/or my
affiliates and/or subsidiaries, (iv) proprietary information of ---- and/or my affiliates and/or subsidiaries. If you are not the
intended recipient of this e-mail, or if you have otherwise received this
e-mail in error, please immediately notify me by e-mail, and please
permanently delete the original, any print outs and any copies of the
foregoing. Any dissemination, distribution or copying of this e-mail is
strictly prohibited. Thank you.

Goodhart9 years ago
Hmm, where have I seen Kiteman's before ? ;-) It looks so familiar....
NachoMahma9 years ago
. I was gonna say that his employer may require the sig, but you say you are coworkers. hmmmmm . Doubt if it has any legal standing, but I'm no lawyer. . I think e-mail disclaimers are funny and look forward to seeing a good one like Kiteman's. Your coworker just has no imagination.
Kiteman9 years ago
This is the "signature" I have set to appear on all my emails. I have been using it for a few weeks, but no recipients have commented on it yet:

"READ CAREFULLY. By opening and/or reading this email, you agree, on behalf of your employer, to release me from all obligations and waivers arising from any and all NON-NEGOTIATED agreements, licenses, terms-of-service, shrinkwrap, clickwrap, browsewrap, confidentiality, non-disclosure, non-compete and acceptable use policies ("BOGUS AGREEMENTS") that I have entered into with your employer, its partners, licensors, agents and assigns, in perpetuity, without prejudice to my ongoing rights and privileges. You further represent that you have the authority to release me from any BOGUS AGREEMENTS on behalf of your employer."