I feel drained.....not just drained but kind of empty....UPDATED
I have been trying to "restart" my creative mind, but of late, I feel like I have had my brain replaced by a vacuum cylinder.
I am at a total loss, and even the LASER project I was working on, failed miserably. Before going on to anything more with that, I will have to get some protective eyewear though.
This is all very depressing to me....but I don't want anyone that knows me to feel badly because I do, it isn't your fault....it is partly situational and party medical (I feel like I am getting old - like my imagination is waning...).
I guess PART of the problem is that the BAR KARMA project appears to be coming to an end.....with no news of whether it will be renewed next year or not......I had a LOT of fun, writing and submitting ideas to that, and even got to hear a suggested piece of music on one of the shows :-)
I want to thank each of you for replying to my little mope session.....it has gotten kind of lonely in my section of the world....and it's good to know i am well thought of....thank you all. I guess my recent failures, the mess I made of the box I sent out in the gift exchange, the recent ambition to do something with a crystal radio....and my laser project that fizzled out....my fading eyesight, and inability to do the artwork (pyrographs) I once enjoyed doing....all has taken it's toll.
To be honest, it hasn't been a LITTLE mope session, this has been going on for a few months, but has come to a head recently.
What good is this deafness.....
I was just going through many of my old PM's since I have kept a LOT of them, almost as far back as I can remember....so I could weed out some of them, and I have come to realize a few things:
#1: I am DEEPLY in everyone's debt here for all they have done for me over the past few years. In fact, that brings me to something else....
#2: I feel quite ashamed at feeling down when there are so many of you out there that care, I have NO BUSINESS feeling alone. .. it might even be considered "selfish" of me to feel that way. And I am sorry for that.....but I do realize I am not alone, and I ACKNOWEDGE each and every one of you I have dealt with over the years. You are all VERY special to me.