I think I may be a Scientologist
My library regularly has a cart of books and audio cassettes for sale...hard covers for a dollar, soft covers for $0.50, etc. When I was there today, I noticed three brand new (still shrink wrapped) volumes of pure Scientology propaganda. I obviously shelled over the three dollars. Nobody really knows anything about them, maybe these books slipped through their hands by accident, and by possessing them, I'm a member of the church?
Ladies and Gentlemen, I present to you, one thousand nine hundred and fifty two pages of genuine L. Ron Hubbard literature: