My idiotic dad doesn't think my grades are good or at least above average. What do you think?

So yeah, I got expelled from school on the last week, but the school decided to be nice and give me my report card. I personally think I did OK, some of my friends and teachers even praised me for it, but my perfectionist father lashed his anger at me to no end. Check these out:

(Note: The passing is 2 out of 6, my school's standards aren't really that high)
English: 5 out of 6
Math: 4 out of 6
Science: 4.5 out of 6
Indonesian: 6 out of 6
Physical Education: 6 out of 6
Technology: 5 out of 6
Social Studies: 4.5 out of 6

So yeah, I know right, WTF. I even got an award for 6th best 7th grader overall (there are 34 7th graders in my school) on the award ceremony the week before I got expelled.

As I said before, my friends and teachers praised me for this, but my dad insists that its very average.

I tried telling my dad that this is actually pretty good and I'm one of the best off and that more than 5 kids went to summer school because they failed more than two subjects. But he wouldn't listen and used that stupid don't compare yourself to them excuse to screw out my arguments.

So yeah, tell me what you think & any advice on how to lower my dad's perfectionist standards would be greatly appreciated.

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Gorfram8 years ago
Those scores average out to 5 out of 6, which in US grading systems would correspond to a 3.33 out of 4 Grade Point Average, or a B+ average. Sixth in a class of 34 would put you in the top 18% of your class, or in the 82nd percentile.

So, yeah, pretty good. Not stellar, but there have been times I would have given my eyeteeth for a solid B+ average.

Except for two things:

  • You said that your school's standards are pretty low, and your father is proably taking that into account. He may figure that a '5' at your school is more equivalent to a '4' anywhere else, and is therefore not so much to be proud of.
  • You got expelled. There is no measuring the depth and breadth and height that your father's anger over that can reach. He's probably already yelled at you about the explusion itself until he has nothing new to say; but all that anger is still there waiting to be (re-)expressed. And then your report card happens along... Hey, he'd probably yell at you over a hangnail at this point. (I know that's probably how I'd be if you were my kid.)
I suspect that your dad has perfectionist standards for you because he believes in his soul that you can meet them. That you could be President of the Universe, or a world-class fighter pilot and Intergalactic Superhero.
He may have a hard time accepting that you're just a pretty darned good kid, who is doing the best he can and really not coming off all that badly - try to break it to him gently.
Camisado (author)  Gorfram8 years ago
Thank you for your excellent view and opinion. The advice is also greatly appreciated, but there are some things I would like to point out:

  • While my school's standards are pretty low, its an elite school so getting even a two is kinda difficult. Getting a 5 would probably be the equivalent of getting a more-than-perfect grade in public schools.
  • I got expelled, yes, but my dad is absolutely not mad about that at all. I got expelled for two reasons, one I will not discuss because it's not appropriate for a family site, and the other one is because I assaulted a really racist white kid using Tonfas, which are basically martial arts Nightsticks on Kobudo class and my father has no problem whatsoever with it, heck he actually said I was doing the right thing for sticking up to myself.
But there's a possibility he's mad because of the first reason I got expelled. While he never said he was mad, he never voiced his opinion on the subject and always dodged it when I brought it up. What do you think?
What do you think?

It's kind of hard to voice an opinion regarding something you won't even mention circumspectly, but I would class the behaviour you describe as embarrassment - whatever you did may be classed somehow as "shameful", and that makes it very hard for your father to talk about.
Camisado (author)  Kiteman8 years ago
Well, Okay.... guess it's okay to be somewhat vague about it. So this kid, he framed me for having ---- videos in my iPod. He also framed me for ------------ in the school toilet. I showed the teachers my iPod, but they were convinced that I simply deleted the videos. Oh, and this kid and some of his friends had a little bad history with me, so they all said that I was ------------ and well, of course the teacher would believe the bigger group.

None of the things I mentioned above was true, BTW. I am a perv, yes, I do kinda have a reputation here on I'bles for being a perv, and I do ---------- and watch ----, but I wouldn't dare to do it at school. To tell you the truth, I think my teachers are screwed up in the head, none of the people who were against me have credible evidences - they just believe the bigger group
Without hearing all the story, I'd have to say that was a very dubious basis for a permanent expulsion.

Personally (I am a head of year in a school), I would have asked the accusers for evidence, and (if I suspected the files had simply been deleted) I would have asked the school's IT department to check the device's file history.

Without hard evidence, even if the witnesses were credible, the most I could justify would be a meeting with your parents regarding your possible infraction, and maybe a day or two's exclusion.

Speaking as a parent, if my son had been expelled withour hard evidence, particularly for a character-staining accusation such as this, then I would now be speaking to my lawyer.

(As for "being a perv", you're a 14 year old boy! I'd consider it odd if you weren't a little obsessed with the seamier side of life - the average age for first exposure to hard-core pornography is now 11 years old.)
Camisado (author)  Kiteman8 years ago
Thanks for your great point of view, Kiteman. All that you said above is true, it's just that my school teachers are money craving b@stards that just want big fat paychecks, heck all teachers in Indonesia is like that - half arsed and screwed up in the head. The depression might be caused due to Indonesian teachers being seriously underpaid (public school teachers get like 10, maybe 20, 30 tops bucks a month). But yeah, I find it annoying how the teachers don't really give a dang about the main subject of their jobs themselves.

Talking to your lawyer? Dang..... But that just might work. I'm gonna talk to my parents about it tonight.

(As for "being a perv", you're a 14 year old boy! I'd consider it odd if you weren't a little obsessed with the seamier side of life - the average age for first exposure to hard-core pornography is now 11 years old.)

Exactly. But that's not really the problem here - the kids accused me for mastur.... OK, I think that's enough of a clue - at the school toilet and having pr0n on my iPod. Yes, as I said above, I do watch pr0n and ----------, but I would not be so stupid and shameful as to do it at school. No sir.
Indonesia pwns and sucks at the same time based on your description. lol.
Camisado (author)  DJ Radio8 years ago
Lol yep. So true.
BTW, I dont see why the school would care about what you have on your ipod. Its your own private personal device. Over here they dont care because ipods are banned in the first place.
Camisado (author)  DJ Radio8 years ago
Eh well, my school's rules blows.
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