Instructables

Religion discrimination in my school...

Hey guys, what's up?

Let me get straight to the point. There's a really beautiful and nice transfer student in my school, but everybody picks on her 'cause she's a Buddhist. The majority of the kids in my school are Muslims, and they hate indifference. At first, they just picked on the Buddhist girl, but they started to diss Christians, Catholics and agnostics. I really hate religion discrimination, so I want to do something about it. The problem is, in my school, if you want to be one of the cool kids, you have to go with the flow, and if I just tell random bullies off they will mark me as one of the very few uncool outcasts. So yeah, I need advice.

Thanks in advance.

I totally know what you mean by this, a lot of kids in high school are immature. This of course carries on into life after high school, but we're not going their right now. From my experience in high school you literally just have to stop caring. Not about the people who are being bullied, but about the majority of jerks who float around and just sort of passively bully people because its what everyone else does. If you see something happen that really gets you going because you know its wrong, don't hesitate, stop them right there and chew them out. I can tell you from experience (especially with high school kids) 95% of people will do listen and do what you say, they might give you some nasty remark, but those people really don't matter anyways. Just tell them why its wrong, why what they are doing is just immature, and stick to it, if what they are doing is senseless none of their arguments will hold ground. Just BE CAREFUL you don't start to classify people as "good" and "bad" most people are generally good, they just are idiots and make mistakes. I've watched some of my best friends do some terrible things to the people closest to them and vice versa with people I assumed to be "bad".

Start acting. If you see this girl being bullied or just talked down to, do something. Try not to make too much of a scene just be firm and speak you're mind, don't try and think about what you're going to say or you'll miss the moment just say it. You might feel like a Jerk for acting this way but trust me the feeling is temporary, you'll feel great afterwords.

As for being cool, don't worry about it, I've found some of the coolest people I know being "uncool" its a matter of character and how genuine people are. I know its cliche but whatever this is the internet, I'm allowed to do that. Truthfully I've been complimented by multiple girls for just standing up against people who act like jerks. Not trying to brag, just raising the point that chicks dig guys with values who have a spine.


So remember
1. Stop caring
2. Speak up (no more Mr. Nice guy :-] )
3. Get the ladies


(ps: listen to kiteman and some of the older members they are ALOT more wise than most of the people here, including me. Don't be afraid to talk to a teacher or anyone if the bullying gets serious, you know when its being taken to far. Once standing up doesn't have an effect, it's out of control)

watch this lecture by Philip Zimbardo (google him if you don't know who he is) It's highly relevant to this, and its almost earie how I stumbled upon this literally 10 minuets ago, then found you're forum post.


The best of luck,

Dan

Well, if being cool makes you do wrong, being cool is not cool.
Kiteman4 years ago
Model good behaviour.

Treat the victims with as much respect as you treat the bullies.

Volunteer to work with the victims in class.  Hold the door open for them if they are behind you in the doorway.  Pause to let them pass.

When the bullies round on you to demand to know why you are being nice to the victims, ask them to explain exactly why you shouldn't be.

Camisado (author)  Kiteman4 years ago
Hmm... a much more extreme, cussed-up, and somewhat violent variant of your plan might work....

Thank you very much, Kiteman.
Just be aware that, should your actions come to the attention of the school authorities, whoever is suspected of turning the conflict violent (without being the actual victim of the discrimination) will probably get into more trouble than the actual bullies.

Be prepared, though, for a long struggle - I note that you are in Java, which is 90+% Muslim, and Muslim countries are traditionally (though not exclusively) much less tolerant of others outside their culture or religion.

However, looking at the Wiki entry for Islam as practised in Java, perhaps you might approach a local Kyai for advice, or to ask him to intervene? 

Or, quite likely, I have completely misread the situation, and you ought to ignore my advice completely...


Camisado (author)  Kiteman4 years ago
I never start a physical fight, I provoke the bullies and make them attack me first, then I counterattack. If it's absolutely necessary, I can have one of my friends videotape some evidence, so the principal blaming me for turning the conflict violent is (almost) out of the question.

Lol, I actually laughed my bum off when you told me I should go meet a Kiai. Most Kiais are so dang conservative they'll try to actually convert me if I tell them I'm not a Muslim.

And no, you didn't misread my situation.
Ya that's what i do if someone is ticking me off.there's a useful judo flippy trippy thing that's pretty useful against uncoordinated all brawn no brain bullies.
DJ Radio4 years ago
Find some way to magically teleport them to an American school. Then they can enjoy life on the receiving end of the BS they have been dealing out to others.
Ouch... but so true. It's not quite as bad in Canada, but it's still worse than it should be.
if you're in canada that's bad enough. jk
Camisado (author)  DJ Radio4 years ago
Lol, that's a mighty nice answer.
Bartboy4 years ago
Confidence is key. If you go up to them, and say exactly what you want to say in an assertive tone, they will usually back down.
Just do what's right and you'll never regret that you have done it. If the flow is wrong, simple and easy, go against the flow. You must make up your own mind and not to be dictated by others.
Camisado (author)  theseventhsage4 years ago
Lol yeah, I did go against the flow, I posted this last year and I have matured somewhat now, I'm no so hung up on hanging out with the cool kids or any of that unimportant crap anymore. Thanks for commenting BTW.
Camisado (author)  Camisado4 years ago
*not
x z i t4 years ago
MOST OF THEM ARE MUSLIM? IS THIS IN AMERICA?

THERE ARE SOME THINGS YOU CAN DO

1. GET STRONGER AND BEAT THE S%#$ OUT OF THEM OR
2. FORGET ABOUT IT CUZ THEYRE JUST DUMBASSES

Camisado (author)  x z i t4 years ago
Please do not insult a group of people just because they believe in different things than you do, I myself am not a muslim myself but most of my friends are muslim and some of them can be very nice. FYI I'm not an American, nor do I live in American, I'm half-Greek half-Indonesian and I live in In Indonesia. As for your "get stronger" advice, I am pretty well off physically and am one of the strongest kids in my grade level, but I don't want to start attacking anybody if these people don't start attacking me first. Violence isn't always the answer.
ArcticChill4 years ago
Go out with the Beautiful exchange student. Please don't hate me but I assume that you like the exchange student with using beautiful instead of pretty, a much more common word when used to describe someone that you are not aquainted . That and you seemed to pick up immediately that she was having problems with the other students and your willingness to help makes me assume the you have a slight crush on her. Again don't hate me because I think that you have a crush on her, I just think that even if you don't have a crush on her you could be a really good friend to her and try to help through the crap that those people are putting her through. Just saying
Baron A4 years ago
Kick their azzes!!!!111!11!One!11!
Mirime4 years ago
Be nice to the really beautiful and nice transfer student. the other thing that you can do is talk to her and her parents. at school i was discriminated by the other kids (city-slickers) because i lived on the family farm in the middle of a farm area and many times i chose to not do a school fund raiser or such like because it conflicted with 4-H or lambs / calves were being born. when one no name kid finally  talked to me and my dad about what was happing the world got much better because that kid helped me cope with the @ssholes (yes still a little bitter) because he knew what it was like.

Moral; talk to her and be good 
"That you may retain your self-respect, it is better to displease people the people by doing what you know is right, then to temporarily please them by doing what you know is wrong."
Basically, instead of being mean to her and being "cool", be nice to her, even if it means being uncool. Of course though, you can do whatever you think is right, and better for you.
Camisado (author)  Rock Soldier4 years ago
No, it means you should do what is right, but at the same time balance it out with doing what is "cool" so that you may appear to the "cool" kids as a "cool" person, but behind their backs you are secretly doing what is right.

Pretty good advice though, thanks domindude.
Unless if you have some less then legal items to sell to people, that may be hard. If you think of something though, I'd love to hear it. (please don't sell less then legal stuff)
And you welcome for the advice.
Camisado (author)  Rock Soldier4 years ago
Less than legal? What? I was thinking more to a "bully her in front of your friends, but secretly apologize to her and talk to her about how religion discrimination is wrong" approach.
That's the single worst idea I've ever heard. Just be nice and be uncool for it, it's not the end of the world. Why would you want to be friends with people who bully others (which you've already said you don't like)?
I completely agree. That proposition is nothing more than hypocrisy.
Camisado (author)  Lithium Rain4 years ago
True, and I don't exactly want to be friends with these so-called "popular" kids, but not being friends with them would make my school life a living heII, although yeah, I do know that doing the right thing is better than being popular, but it's how I do it that's important.

Thanks for your opinion Lira.
but it's how I do it that's important.


That WILL be the key.   It is pretty subject to your individual circumstance.  We can give general ideas, but you will have to mold them to fit your situation.
 
Camisado (author)  Goodhart4 years ago
True.
Camisado (author)  whatsisface4 years ago
Well yeah, they aren't exactly good people that I want to be friends with, but not staying on their good side would make my school life a living heII. Thanks for your opinion anyways.
DJ Radio4 years ago
OBLITERATE ALL WITH YO NINJAH POWAHSS!!!!!111!!!!111!

In all seriousness, maybe you could change what was perceived as "Cool".  If it was going the way I would want it to, the bullies would not be cool, they would just be outcasts.  Or maybe get the kids that are being picked on to say that the bullies will end up in hell if they don't change their ways.

And people at my school are starting to like my interests, some jocks at my school found my youtube account, and they all like my guns, and they want to learn how to build em and stuff.
Camisado (author)  DJ Radio4 years ago
Thanks for the advice. The jocks at your school like your K'nex stuff? Cool, good for you.
Doctor What4 years ago
If the people are bullying over religion, they are bigots,and deserve to be shunned, or stoned (just joking, that's too messy).

Do the good thing, be nice to the people who are nice to you.  If they go about making fun of other religions, or lack of it, then they aren't nice people.  Ignore bad people.

You'll still be popular with those who aren't "cool" in your school, and you can form your own clique. 

These "popular bigots" aren't really your friends, their just acquaintances, and are disposable.  Find friends that will stick with you, and won't make fun of your religion.

Or you could just destroy them all with your mighty fists of righteousness.  That works too.
Camisado (author)  Doctor What4 years ago
Thanks man, you sound like someone who had been there and done that. Greatly appreciated.
As a ghey athiest (hehe, gaythiest), I've seen my share of haters. You learn to deal with them.  I've been lucky though, I haven't had too many to get around.  Just the occasional a**.
Camisado (author)  Doctor What4 years ago
When did you come out of the closet? Middleschoolers and highschoolers tend to be pretty (and by that I mean violent and rude to a point where they may beat you up so bad you end up in a hospital) harsh to ghey people. Don't get me wrong, I don't have any problems with gheys or atheists, as long as they don't try to change my beliefs or my sexuaIity.
High school.  Actually, I haven't seen any "violent" behavior, just the occasional rude, "over-conservative", a** holes.  Whenever that happens, people usually (the friends around me) come to my defense.

I guess it just depends on the area (from what I've heard).  In Washington, we have a fairly accepting population. It USUALLY tends to be a nice area.  We have the occasional occurrence, but nobody tries anything too drastic.

"as long as they don't try to change my....sexuality"....  Heheheh, we're coming to get you Camisado!
Camisado (author)  Doctor What4 years ago
Let me start off by saying that I'm glad you don't live in Indonesia. Indonesians are very conservative, and would probably beat up or at least cuss out any gay or atheist on sight (I'm an agnostic and I've been punched in the face a lot of times before. Lucky for me I know how to fight). Oh, and those are some mighty good friends you have there, I hope you cherish them.

"Heheheh, we're coming to get you Camisado!"

Aww, sorry camper, but I am 100000000000000000000000% heterosexuaI. No boy had ever turned me on and no boy ever will. (=P)

As a ghey athiest (hehe, gaythiest)

Wait, aren't they opposites?  

a gay atheist  doesn't believe in God

but a gaytheist  could be a gay theist :-) making him one of the theists  (just teasing a bit ;-) 
 
Seanex4 years ago
TELL THE PRINCIPAL
OddasAlec4 years ago
An Email brought me here, I'm not sure why or maybe I don't understand that this personal question is a part of 'Instructables' Forums, maybe?
Anyway, First I can tell you that My life in High School was truly "a living Hell' for the whole 5 years. So, maybe I got some insight on *that* ?
First though, "a really beautiful And nice"  New Girl in any school in Canada...would *never* even be asked her "Religion" (thats illegal for Anyone in a position of power to even ask that question or put it on a Job App. , School Registration or any forms.
Sorry, but my main point was that a "really beautiful And nice female" especially,
would normally be treated like a queen by All of "the 'cool' guys. She would have all the friends that She wanted (especially, if she could put up with "Cool Guys", who, at your age ...are Not 'cool' , no way, no how...nothing but 'Bad Actors')
Sounds like a 'Private School' ?  But, whatever, If 'the majority' want to act this idiotic, Plus  you have a school full of people for whom 'Religion'???!.... comes before "Beautiful and Nice Girls" ??? ...whoaa!  Get the heck Out of there, if you can...because *Nothing* is gonna change "Cool guys who have the Power"!
And, if Religion is "King" ? to high school guys...even making them reject Girls?
  Well huh-ell , I better stop right now because I shouldn't be saying a word about a place that would surely 'kill me' and just sounds like an 'alien world of parent-manipulated young 'Bots....that is just beyond 'any' understanding, by me or anyone else, worth listening to, 'round here!  That is just pitiful...Run! (wit girl)