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Should I work at Squid Labs/Instructables - A questionnaire

I just discovered this gem of a mock questionnaire kinawera wrote a few months ago that is a primer for prospective Squid Labbers. While it's full of inside jokes, I still think you'll find it humorous.

Employment questionnaire:

SHOULD I WORK AT SQUID LABS?

Has something you learned on MythBusters saved your life? How many times?

A) Once

B) Twice

C) More than twice

The difficulty with string theory is:

A) it's too short at one end

B) the wrong gauge of string

C) not enough of it is made into bridles

On a one-to-ten index of snuggling, where would you position yourself?

How would you characterise your approach to body odour?

A) Tolerant

B) Very tolerant

C) (There is no third option on this one)

Are at least three major components of your car entirely constructed out of kitchen implements and/or braise?

Have you ever used an air compressor for personal hygiene?

Can you perform rudimentary kiteboarding maneovres, including permanently alienating beachgoers, preferably through incidents requiring ongoing hospital treatment?

Do you have a communal attitude to futons and 40 foot school buses?

Define: Mank, munted. Use both in a sentence.

Do you like squid?

Is a sense of shame a strong, medium or weak motivator in your daily life?

You are given a pair of Crocs. What colour are they?

Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab?

Define the term: bicycle

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skunkbait8 years ago
From the looks of the questionaire, I should become your Chief Hillbilly advisor. (I honestly never imagined anyone else out there held my view of air compressors!) The only problem I have is the colour of the Crocs. It doesn't really matter, since I'll just cut them up to use as vibration dampeners.
KenGriffin8 years ago
Has something you learned on MythBusters saved your life? How many times? A) Once I tried to cook a hot dog using a parabolic mirror. Then returned to the Mythbusters episode where a parabolic mirror set a hot dog on fire in 8 seconds flat. Thankfully, my garage was made of cement. My eyebrows, however, were not. (true story) The difficulty with string theory is: Have you tried tying a knot using this string? You get 40 million electromagnetic pulses, 2 dead babies, and a Ford Taurus...while trying to tie a half-hitch. On a one-to-ten index of snuggling, where would you position yourself? As far as hell from the other 10 as physically possible. How would you characters your approach to body odour? I don't approach body odor. It somehow finds itself drawn to me in the form of classmates. Are at least three major components of your car entirely constructed out of kitchen implements and/or braise? I have an inverter for my 12v cigarette lighter outlet. Toasting has never been toastier. Have you ever used an air compressor for personal hygiene? On two occasions. 1) I used a spare FIRST robotics compressor hooked up to a 12v battery, to get sawdust off my shirt. 2) The air hand-dryer in the bathroom was broken. Can you perform rudimentary kiteboarding maneuvers, including permanently alienating beachgoers, preferably through incidents requiring ongoing hospital treatment? I call that ButtaBoarding. My rubber tire cuts through old people legs like butta'. Do you have a communal attitude to futons and 40 foot school buses? Only for 40 foot school buses. One human per futon is adequate enough for me, thanks. Define: Mank, munted. Use both in a sentence. Mank: a drunken interpretation of the word "make." example: (after 9 shots of Red Label) "Mank me a sandwich 'fore I knock some'on in the mouf. (yes, mouf.) Munted: A midget who has been punted. "It was just really funny!" - Protester who munted a vertically challenged teenager. Do you like squid? I like squid when squid likes me. It's a mutual relationship. Is a sense of shame a strong, medium or weak motivator in your daily life? It's a medium and a half. Also, I'm quite ashamed that I have yet to come up with a witty, yet useless remark for this question. You are given a pair of Crocs. What colour are they? Black, because I made them out of old bicycle tubing. Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab? I mapped out a "canine-inspired physical orientation" in AutoDesk Inventor Electric using a 47 ohm resistor, an IR LED, 3 jumper wires, and the Duplicate command, minus one of the jumper wires. I'm a bad, bad, electrical engineer. Define the term: bicycle My ride to and from any location. Respect the bucket panniers.
trebuchet038 years ago
Has something you learned on MythBusters saved your life? How many times?

Perhaps it isn't Mythbusters that saved your life and is instead your life that has saved Mythbusters.

The difficulty with string theory is:

Low Tolerance to Bend Over Sheave Fatigue Modes of Failure

On a one-to-ten index of snuggling, where would you position yourself?

A solid 7 - interpret at will

How would you characterise your approach to body odour?

My approach? Send me vectors and I'll consider my approach. I'm flying in the blind here.

Are at least three major components of your car entirely constructed out of kitchen implements and/or braise?

I inverse this question and yes, at least three components of/for my car are used as kitchen implements.

A halogen light for food porn
A car batter to power the halogen light, for food porn.
A power drill with a fork as used as a whisk.

Have you ever used an air compressor for personal hygiene?
Pssft. I only shower with water that was once vapor and then condensed via compressor.

Can you perform rudimentary kiteboarding maneovres, including permanently alienating beachgoers, preferably through incidents requiring ongoing hospital treatment?

A significant maybe - I've been saving my first broken bone for a special occasion.

Do you have a communal attitude to futons and 40 foot school buses?

Only if we cuddle later. Remember, solid 7.

Define: Mank, munted. Use both in a sentence.
Mank: A town in Austria
Munted: Pretty bad - disgusting...

The Manknificent knight munted his white steed.

Do you like squid?
Only on Thursdays, Mondays, Wednesdays, Thursdays, Tuesdays, Fridays, Sundays Mondays and Caturdays.

Is a sense of shame a strong, medium or weak motivator in your daily life?
What shame are we talking here? The kind that makes other people blush as you streak down Market street? Or the kind that makes you blush when a group of naked cyclists rides down market?

You are given a pair of Crocs. What colour are they?
Embedded aluminum shaving gray.

Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab?
Adding that to the to-do list. Puns where intended.

Define the term: bicycle
Spelled incorrectly - I believe it's spelled r-e-c-u-m-b-e-n-t
puffyfluff8 years ago
Has something you learned on MythBusters saved your life? How many times?
If I said, I would be banned from Instructables. (I actually don't have TV...)

The difficulty with string theory is:
Somewhere here.

On a one-to-ten index of snuggling, where would you position yourself?
Depends on whether one is most or least. Therefore, can't say.

How would you characterise your approach to body odour?
No opinion.

Are at least three major components of your car entirely constructed out of kitchen implements and/or braise?
I don't have a car. I crashed it when I tried to make all the glass out of cutting boards, use a refrigerator for the air conditioning, and saran wrap for the air bag.

Have you ever used an air compressor for personal hygiene?
I keep my horror stories to myself.

Can you perform rudimentary kiteboarding maneovres, including permanently alienating beachgoers, preferably through incidents requiring ongoing hospital treatment?
Absolutely!

Do you have a communal attitude to futons and 40 foot school buses?
I don't really have any attitude for them.

Define: Mank, munted. Use both in a sentence.
Mank tied his shoes, then munted. no, I didn't feel like looking them up before posting.

Do you like squid?
I love squid! (Actually, I've never thought about my opinion for squid...)

Is a sense of shame a strong, medium or weak motivator in your daily life?
I am anywhere from 100% to 0% shame driven on a yearly basis.

You are given a pair of Crocs. What colour are they?
Fuchsia. I say this because I don't think they have fuchsia crocs.

Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab?
I tried in AutoCad, but it failed, so I did it in Rimu Schematic.

Define the term: bicycle
A functional unit that can perform substantial computations, including numerous arithmetic operations and logic operations.
Labot20019 years ago
Has something you learned on MythBusters saved your life? How many times?
C) More than twice

The difficulty with string theory is:

On a one-to-ten index of snuggling, where would you position yourself?
On a 1, 2, 10 index? Probably four and a half.

How would you characterize your approach to body odor?
Anosmia =]

Are at least three major components of your car entirely constructed out of kitchen implements and/or braise?
I would never put kitchen instruments in my DeLorean!

Have you ever used an air compressor for personal hygiene?
It's quicker than Q-tips!

Can you perform rudimentary kiteboarding maneovres, including permanently alienating beachgoers, preferably through incidents requiring ongoing hospital treatment?
I can do that without a kiteboard. Impressive, I know. =]

Do you have a communal attitude to futons and 40 foot school buses?
Um, I sleep on a futon and I take the bus to school?

Define: Mank, munted. Use both in a sentence.
Mank: Fred's mank caught fire yesterday.
Munted: Yer danged dog just munted all over mah new shews! Shewt!

Do you like squid?
Well, I've never met one personally, but I'll get around to it and keep you posted.

Is a sense of shame a strong, medium or weak motivator in your daily life?
Yes.

You are given a pair of Crocs. What color are they?
Red. That way, when I wear my socks with them, I'll really stand out.

Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab?
Define "mapped".

Define the term: bicycle
Choo-choo!
I love xkcd.
puffyfluff8 years ago
This is by far the funniest thing I have seen in my life!

Note to Eric - you should seriously ask this every time someone wants to work for instructables! :P
Doctor What9 years ago
Have you ever mapped out a sexual position on Solidworks and/or Matlab? Hmm. How to reply to that question. Hmm. I'll have to try that next year in drafting class.
a friend of mine attempted that in Inventor, but got a few detentions for it, haha it was hilarious watching him try to talk his way out of it...
Gjdj39 years ago
You guys kiteboard? Sweet! I love kiteboarding!
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