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Tell a Story about the Instructables Robot

You might have thought that we built The Instructables Robot, but we actually just discovered it in a corner under some junk one day when we were first building Instructables. We weren't really sure want it was, but after charging its batteries overnight, it turned on, its fan started humming, and it offered to help out. So, we put it in charge of sending emails, and as you know, it has really taken to its job.

We're pretty sure the Robot is quite old, but every time we ask it about its past, it always begs off to go send more email.

So what do you think is the Robot's story? Who built it? Did it build itself? What do you think it might do in the future? Why does it like the things in its favorites list? Where does it goes every Saturday night at 10:22 PM when we can't seem to find it?

Tell a story about the Instructables Robot!

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AndyGadget7 years ago
With a nod to Mr Asimov . . .

 
 
The Robot lay on the bright steel surface. Small, yellow and inert amongst the dozens of cables running to it, surrounded by brushed chrome and flickering lights. It looked almost pathetic lying there. But the appearance was deceptive. Weeks, months, years, decades, lifetimes of work had gone into creating this, the Ultimate Thinking Machine. The entire sum of all Earth’s knowledge;  science, history, art, aspirations, beliefs, hopes and fears had been programmed into its circuits. It was finally complete. The World looked on. 
 
The moment came. The chief engineer tentatively made the final contact which energised the Robot. Power lines pulsed. Screens came to life; arcane symbols scrolling faster than the eye could follow. A quiet hum started within the Robot’s frame and slowly built until the equipment around vibrated and built and built until the very walls quaked then rose in pitch to become a scream. Those around fell to the floor clutching their heads.  When it seemed that death would be a merciful release to the onlookers . . . all went quiet. 
 
A display showing the time flashed where it had fallen . . . 22:21:57 . . . 22:21:58 . . . 22:21:59 . . . 22:22:00.
 
The Robot’s eyelids slowly opened millimetre by millimetre. Slowly, oh so slowly the Robot’s body came up to a sitting position. First the left leg then the right swung over the edge of the bench until the Robot faced the quaking chief engineer. The red eyes focussed on his face. The Robot spoke. “Do you have a question for me?” it said. The engineer cleared his throat. “Yes we have” he replied. “We have considered long and hard and found the question which has plagued Mankind for millennia. The question to which the People of the World most want an answer is . . . Is there a god?”
 
The Robot remained silent. The silence continued as if it was considering the problem, manipulating the billions of variables from its gargantuan data banks. A dim red light like a dying ember appeared in its eyes. The light pulsed, pulsed, pulsed, and grew in intensity until it blazed like a furnace. Those in the room cowered where they could as the Robot stood up. “Bugger this for a game of soldiers” it roared, “I’m going to have some FUN!
 
In the space of ten seconds, the Robot expanded to the size of a skyscraper, tearing up the law of conservation of mass. It took off and shot up to a height of 100 feet, shattering the law of gravity. It reached down, ripped buildings from their very foundations and hurled them down upon the screaming population, shredding every health and safety law in the land.
 
Suddenly the Robot stiffened and froze in the air. It hung there a moment then fell, shrinking as it did. It hit the ground, tumbling haphazardly amongst the rubble and remained still.
 
Time passed. 
 
A man in tattered and dusty clothes slowly and tentatively made his way across the debris strewn landscape ready to flee at any moment if the Robot as much as twitched. He reached the rigid form and saw a faint blue glow reflected off the rocks. He looked between the bricks and could see part of a small screen behind a panel in the Robot’s chest. The screen showed white lettering on a blue background. He squinted and could make out part of the text :-
......
*** STOP: 0x00000050 (0x8872A990,0x804F35D7,0x00000000)
*** manicrampage.dll – Address E080AC55 base at EDFF0000
 
Beginning dump of physical memory.
…...
 
The next day every television channel, newspaper and radio programme proclaimed the news . . .
 
*** MICROSOFT SAVES PLANET EARTH ***
 
 
The Robot still showed no signs of activity. It was disentangled from the rubble and taken to the only building left standing in the area - Instructables headquarters. Here it was cleaned, repaired and had every byte of his data storage erased. It was re-activated and rehabilitated with the assistance of a small penguin called Tux. He was given simple tasks to do which he performed well and eventually was allowed to process the entire e-mail load of the office; a task he is still enjoying today.
 
However, deep in his chest circuitry, just over to the left hand side is a tiny area of non-volatile RAM which had been overlooked when his memory was erased. Late every night the Robot would feel a need, a compulsion to sneak out of the building through a back door and climb one of the hills overlooking the city. Here he would stand, staring out over the land with vague memories of surging power, the unleashing of awesome energies, soaring flight, flames, fire and cataclysmic chaos. He would stand there daydreaming . . . of what might have been.


Andy.
The Jamalam7 years ago
The ibles robot created himself in 2510. But, the huge power surge required to activate the conscience of the robot sent him back in time. Eric found him, and helped him. He now sends email a lot. In 500 years time, he will create another ibles robot and repeat the cycle. A bit like red dwarf; lister is his own father.
Derin8 years ago
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blugyblug8 years ago
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Irobot.jpg
Derin8 years ago
The Story Of Robot Everybody knows the Robot was made in the future.One day at 3009,exactly 1000 years after 2009,his creator was working in his DIY-made workshop making a robot.This robot was designed to be able to operate a standard computer terminal,doing jobs better than people.It would be safe against any spam.One day,he finished the robot and mounted it's motherboard.He did not hesitate to put a special edition of Linux on,instead of Windows 3K.One week later,the robot learnt to operate a standard terminal.He quickly tested all his functions on a PC running Windows Vista,which was well obsolete at that time.The robot soon noticed he needed an older terminal for the final test.He finally went to his creator and said "I need to go into the past to complete my test.Can you give me a time machine?" and his creator attached him a small time machine.He soon went to our time to operate an older terminal and complete his test.Unfortunately,the area he would land in was a dark alley.Not knowing that,he set his machine to 2009 and he ended up in the alley.After that,his time machine crashed,pulling the whole power system down.After an hour or so,a group of serious DIY'ers approached the robot.These people were no other person than Eric Wilhelm and his friends.One of them said "What do we have here?Hey,it's a robot!Come!" and called the others around the de-energized robot.One other friend indicated that this robot was from the future.Eric insisted that the robot was taken to the workshop.They carried the robot into their old pickup and they took the robot to their old HQ.There they charged its battery pack up and pressed a secret combination on the 3 front buttons to turn it on.The robot was woken after failure,a major one,and resetted the ownership data.It said "Hello.You are my new owner.I am ready to do your bidding.".This gave them an idea.They needed somebody to send email notifications.Eric told the robot to sit in front of a computer and send email.It was a good thing that the robot could operate non-modified terminals.It sat down and began sending email.It went safely like this till the 222,222th message.At the sending of that message,smoke started pouring out every opening of the robot and the robot quickly got reduced to a pile of metal and silicon.They decided to make a simple replacement.The new robot had slightly different tastes,and did not send greetings.That robot quickly began talking around until it got stolen by zombies.The rest is just wait-and-see.
Berkin Derin8 years ago
I know what Creator's name is...
Derin Berkin8 years ago
What is his name?
Berkin Derin8 years ago
His name was Cyber-Eric. In the future when Eric finally passes away, a group of scientists find him and bring him back to life, putting his brain in a robot's body. They then send the robot back in time to the mortal Eric, where Cyber-Eric is then known eternally as the Instructables Robot.
Derin Berkin8 years ago
Damn,my story got foiled by a few sentences :)
theburn79 years ago
REAL BINARY *with a joke inside 01010100011010000110010100100000010010010110111001110011011101000111001001110101 01100011011101000110000101100010011011000110010101110011001000000101001001101111 01100010011011110111010000100000010000110110000101101101011001010010000001100110 01110010011011110110110100101110001011100010111000100000010110010100111101010101 010100100010000001001101010011110100110
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