Step 5: Remove Floor Scuff Marks
Any school janitor worth his salt knows that there's no need to scrub the floors like Cinderella just to remove some scuff marks. There's an easier way. A faster way. A better way.
In the irony of ironies, tennis balls remove scuff marks. I know! I'm sure you've been playing a match at the local courts and have seen the signs that say, "No black-soled shoes." The signs are there to prevent the court from looking like a
flat, green skate park, police academy driving range, or something else that is all scuffed up.* And to think, the tools to remove those scuff marks are RIGHT THERE.**
To remove those scuff marks, just put a tennis ball on a stick. Rubbed vigorously on top of a scuff mark, tennis balls act as an eraser. The felt has a good texture for removing the scuffs: rough without being too abrasive and gentle enough for special surfaces. Just like a school janitor.
*Ran out of similes.
**Well, maybe. If any budding David Foster Wallace***-types want to write up an explanation of the scuff-removal qualities of tennis balls, I'm sure we'd all appreciate it.
***I'm open to other suggestions of literary tennis players. Or tennis-playing literati.****
****Sorry this was so self-referential. No po-mo.