Have you heard that joke about baby oil? The one that goes something like:

If corn oil is made with corn and peanut oil is made with peanuts, then what is baby oil made with?

The answer: Baby oil is made with mineral oil and fragrance by industrial professionals; babies don't have the fine motor skills or chemistry knowledge to create baby oil, duh.

Baby oil is useful for a lot of things beyond baby bottoms. It'll smooth, soften, lubricate, refinish, clean, and so much more. It also has some usual uses for which it really oughtn't be used. Read on for some tips and tricks that'll help you step your baby oil game up.

Step 1: First, some don'ts

Don't use baby oil as a "personal" lubricant, particularly if you are using a latex condom. (Just look at the next step to see who wins in the latex vs. baby oil battle royale.)

Don't use baby oil to tan. Melanoma looks bad enough without being shiny.

Don't eat baby oil. It has laxative properties and likely doesn't taste delicious. (Mineral oil is safe for human consumption, but only up to around 100 mg. Many of those milligrams come from food-grade mineral oil that's used in baking and other industrial food processing places because it's odorless and tasteless. My guess is that baby oil mineral oil isn't food-grade. Stay safe: don't guzzle a bottle of it.)

Don't use it in your 2-stroke engine.

Don't aim baby oil at helicopter pilots. Wait... that's for lasers. But you should still be careful around helicopter pilots with baby oil. It can be a slip-fall hazard, and pilots prefer the scent of aviation fuel.
<p>-_-</p><p><a href="http://inglesperu.com/craft-home-number-13-basic/" rel="nofollow">http://inglesperu.com/craft-home-number-13-basic/</a></p><p><a href="http://www.funfani.com/awareness/various-benefits-of-baby-oil-t30038.0.html" rel="nofollow">http://www.funfani.com/awareness/various-benefits-...</a></p>
<p>Plain mineral oil, not baby oil, is good for seasoning cast iron that will be stored for long periods as it will not go rancid as other food type oils will.</p>
You can use it to remove &quot;tar&quot; (crude oil) from your feet after a trip to the beach (not as frequent of a problem as when I was a kid)
<p>A nice coating of baby oil on your furniture should be the greatest dust-attracter ever.</p>
On behalf of the nation of Canada, I am obliged to inform you that -10 C is not cold. <br>You get down to -20 and then we'll talk. <br> <br>That being said, this is a really good way to prevent windburn, much like a good lipbalm, only all ovah ya face.
On behalf of Missouri, at least you all have predictable weather. One day we'll have rain, sun for half the next day, followed by snow, all ended nicely with tornado warnings, usually mixed with a little flooding.
<p>Not to mention it can be pouring down rain but the sun is still shining and it is about freezing temperatures</p>
<p>or raining in one spot and bone dry ten feet away from it. But hey, I'm not complaining :)</p>
So true
Colorado in the middle of the U. S. Can reach both extremes in temperature any season don't like the weather wait 15 or 20 mins it will change
...or have 80 weather and five inches of snow two days later :)
In that case, what do you call hot?
<p>In a perversely humorous way, I understand &quot;relative heat ranges&quot; and acclimatisation...</p><p>.</p><p>When I hear of people in say Moscow, dropping dead in a heat wave reaching 23*C for 3 days running, I mean it's not funny, but the issue of them calling 23*C a heat wave, is to me, because where I live, 45*C + is a pretty sort of extreme heat wave..... but in the middle of winter, the typical day time temperatures are like 8*C - BUT in Moscow, it's something like -20 or 30*C.</p><p>.</p><p>Which is interesting - as the average temperature span between a normally cold winter and a normally hot summer, seems to be about 30 - 35*, only their temperature range is SOOOOOO much lower than ours, but the effect of &quot;over heating&quot; in a heat wave, is about the same.</p><p>.</p><p>And while they start dropping dead in their version of a heat wave, you see them swimming at the beach with ice in the water in their summer time, while we would not go to the beach until it got up to about 30 - 35*C....</p><p>. </p>
I was going to comment on this, but you basicly nailed it!<br><br>-30 a couple of nights a year in these parts, colder happens... I was happy when my car started at -34 C .. :-)
&lt;/pissing contest&gt;
Try Northern alberta. Minus 50 withoutany windchill. and winnipeg where its regularly in the minus 40's
<p>I was birthed in Cold Lake, AB and came of age north of Chicoutimi, PQ so boy was I ecstatic when we relocated to Toronto where it rarely drops below -30C. Now that's balmy =D</p>
And I thought the song said:<br><br>Almost Heaven... West Virgnia.<br><br>And here you have been hiding it up there all this time!<br><br>BTW - beautiful country up there!
Florida, here. 2004 saw hurricanes Charley, Frances, and Ivan. Mineral oil was great for getting camp gear unstuck during the blackout, keeping the native &quot;no-see-ums&quot; at bay, keeping the watermarks on the hardwood floors from gaining any permanence, and keeping various tools from becoming rusted and inoperable.<br><br>Vacation seasons often see vacationers trying to substitute baby oil for suntan oil or afterburn oil...which, by the way, is an excellent way to develop blisters in a sunburn - but not so great for &quot;tan acceleration&quot;, contrary to vacationers' expectations. It's also great for getting the fans unstuck after a season of storage.<br><br>Baby oil is also excellent at removing Kool Seal from hirsute homeowners' forearms, as, yes, it breaks down the latex.<br><br>Yes, it also makes for a great bath oil - but only in moderation, and - as with all oils - always be certain to clean the oil out afterwards, as the tub can get quite slick for the shower-taker afterwards.
<p>Do you just put it on the skin to keep the bugs off?</p>
<p>I'd have baby oil in with Avon's Skin So Soft together. But what I was referring to was when unfolding the netting [which was on stuck hinges], and using the mineral oil to unstick the hinges. The netting would keep the mosquitoes and &quot;no see ums&quot; at bay, alongside the citronella tiki torches and the no-mosquito formula a friend makes of SsS and baby oil. </p>
On behalf of the people of Hoth ...
My pet wampa agrees
Well try 45 C. For half a week on end.
<p>Like we need anymore reasons to never live in Canada.</p>
<p>I would like to say -20 C is not really that cold......-40 C is cold especially in a breeze about 60 clicks (kph). Then, your finger tips, ear lobes, nose points and toe tips are quite numb and not feeling, and not bending or responding to nerve commands from the brain and ......oh the pain, the pain inside the house, directly afterwards. Most commonly found in Calgary, Alberta and map points north as well as the East Kootenays especially above 4500-5000 feet and skyward. Mighty chilly... felt insulated boots, down-filled parkas and a companion (human, not grizzly and certain not canine unless huskies with sweet disposition. </p>
<p>dat's cold !</p>
<p>Ah yes, the cherished perennial Canadian pastime of boasting who has it coldest. I actually reside in the hideous metropolis of Calgary. And we only had a couple of days of -28 last winter, at the worst. The wind, howling down those concrete corridors of the downtown, is what will make a mere -28 feel like the pits of Hell have frozen over and the age of despair is nigh.<br>I realize that my comment from 5 years ago must have stirred you deeply in your Canuck blood, but I meant -20 as a threshold marker; it is certainly not VERY cold, nor is it the worst a Canadian winter has to offer, but it is the point at which I concede that perhaps it's time to swap in the parka for the down vest, that perhaps winter HAS come again, and that longjohns might be a practical idea for the transit commute.<br>And now I need me some warm tea just thinking about it.<br></p>
-20 still not cold enough. I've been out for 10 minutes in -26 with t-shirt and shorts. Saw powerlines fall th as t day.
<p>Wait a minute ... WTF Jes*s Chr*st don't you cretins know we're about to be burnt up because of CO2 generated Global Warming ... just ask any Liberal fok just ask Lord Obama ... :P</p>
<p>I wish that I could live in a place that cold... By my standards, it gets really hot where I live. In the summer, up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit(38 C). You people are probably laughing at me because you live in an area close to the equator or in some place like California, but I'm a cold climate creature.</p>
I acknowledge that -20 C is cold, but I'm from Montana. -20C is nothing, it's not strange to have -40F with a wind chill of -70 or 80. That would be about -57C...
<p>-70F is not -57C.. it's -21C ... your point is invalid... yes I know, 3 years late, but someone had to tell you...</p>
<p>Not sure what conversion app you're using, but -70F is most definitely about -57C. Farenheit and Celsius meet at -40 and then Fahrenheit starts seeming like the more impressive number, but Celsius would still be lower than -40. <br>-21C is about -6F</p>
<p>actually -70F is infact -57C so their point is valid, sorry (-70-32)/1.8 = 56.7(1dp)</p>
On behalf of those who are native to the Great Lake snow belts, -20 Celsius also is not that cold. When you get down to around -30 F (-34 Celsius), and the humidity is high enough that your nose-flesh literally freezes when you try to breathe - this is when its starts to get cold. Standing on the shores of the Lake with it blowing in your face - while the temp is in this range also will make it hard for anyone to say they are &quot;cold&quot; ever again. <br><br>And as to wind chill - forget it... -30 windchill &quot;feels like&quot; is picnic weather when comparing it to actual mercury levels on the thermometer.<br><br>Now we need someone from Siberia to post and say, -30 is nothing b/c...<br><br>:^)
I agree. -10C is nothing. -20C is cold, maybe awful. I am glad that I have never experienced -30C! I tried to run in -21C, and I got more tired than usually. Applying vaseline or baby oil on the skin is useful if you're outside for a longer time, but won't these freeze or makes it worser on the longer term?<br><br>-10C can even feel comfortable or really awful, it depends on<br>the wind and humity. I recommend slowly acclimating yourself to the cold weather by going out (shortly) with little clothes, letting oneself freeze and becomes cold to make it easier for the body to accept colder climates. I usually do that at autumn. :)
From experience over many years, here is an even easier way to acclimate in just a few hours...<br><br>Go out in the cold all bundled up. Do some back breaking labor - like splitting firewood. As you get warmer start stripping off outer layers of clothing until, Keep doing this until you are in a T-shirt. When you get done with the work, go in the house and take a shower but do not try to cook yourself b/c the water feels good. Also do not have the heat in the house up so it is baking you. And, above all, do NOT use an electric blanket - these cook you all night and your body gets to expecting this kind of heat and then you cannot acclimate.<br><br>I used to go to school in SC and would come home during Christmas vacation to the Lake Erie snow belt. The first day I was home I did this very thing and, from then on, just had on a light jacket &amp; hat while still home. <br><br>And if I was willing to write a book, one of the most intelligent sayings I have ever heard is an old indian saying: &quot;white men get cold b/c they treat cold like an enemy instead of a friend.&quot; I have found this more and more true as I get older. Explore the meaning of this saying and it will be hard for you to be uncomfortable in cooler climates. I also find my immune system is stronger.
<p>The Indians here in the southwest used to live in the basin in the winter and up in the mountains in the summer, so they were also a little sensitive about the cold and the heat too.</p>
&gt; &quot;white men get cold b/c they treat cold like an enemy instead of a friend.&quot; .....<br><br>True, beautiful said. Thanks. The Western have lost a lot compared to the ancient tribes living in harmony with the nature. Look at the animals and birds, do you actually see somebody resisting the cold weather?<br>They seems to shrug it away, it seems that they're listening more to the body, it's older and more developed than the brain. Where does the resistance most people have comes from?<br><br>The modern world seems to have that attitude that everything unknown/uncomfortable is a enemy to one's welfare. I wonder why.
Discomfort and pain are your body's way of telling you &quot;something's wrong, fix it or I'll keep annoying you.&quot;
On behalf of Australians: .... 20C is pretty cold... i think my legs would drop off at -20C. :D but I suppose you get used to the weather wherever you are, eventually.
Hear Hear Tanamoril!!!!
<p>As for stretch marks: You stated &quot;any absorb-able oil&quot;. Mineral oil/baby oil doesn't absorb into the skin. You find it in eye shadow and various cosmetics for this reason. To prevent or treat stretch marks, coconut oil works wonderfully. Add a drop or 2 of your favorite essential oil (helichrysum works wonders here and on various skin conditions, like scars) and massage it in. If you're really worried about it, try doTerra brand Correct-X or Immortelle. Dilute essential oils with coconut oil to prevent skin irritation and to make them last longer because some (ok, most) of them are expensive. </p>
<p>I used to work at a tire factory where we combined the chemicals, rubber compounds, and CARBON BLACK to make the rubber for the tires. Needless to say, we were filthy before the shift ended. We had showers we could use before going home and we never came to work without a bottle of baby oil. We rubbed it on all our body parts which were black with the carbon black, then soaped up, rinsed off, and VOILA!!! Clean as could be!!! Since then, I have found it works for almost any carbon based skin stains, such as changing oil in a diesel engine.</p>
<p>You are a funny and informative dude! Thanks for the laughs and knowledge.</p>
<p>I am so glad that you didn't mention sex, anal sex or masturbation AND baby oil.</p><p>.</p><p>As a gripe about baby oil, it's more or less a grade of oil between diesel and a light engine oil - and they charge like about $6 for 120ml. where as diesel costs about $1.30 a litre, and the so called typical motor oils, cost about $5 a litre.... And while Johnston and Johnson make the BEST baby oil, compared to the cheap stuff, it's still a real rip off.</p><p>.</p><p>The other thing, too, is that chickens get feet lice under their scales, and they DO like having their feet massaged with baby oil as a way of smothering and killing the lice.</p>
-20C isn't that cold at all. I live in Pennsylvania and in the dead of winter -20C=-4F is certainly not unheard of January thru March and I used to work outdoors all year round at heights of an excess of 100 feet. Cold sucks but those numbers aren't that bad our low here last year -12F so that's -24.4F
A friend of mine used baby oil on her children's hair to kill lice. She said the oil smothers the little buggers (the license, not the kids) also makes it easier to comb out nits. Bonus: leaves hair silky soft. (after you shampoo 10 times!)

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