Have you heard that joke about baby oil? The one that goes something like:

If corn oil is made with corn and peanut oil is made with peanuts, then what is baby oil made with?

The answer: Baby oil is made with mineral oil and fragrance by industrial professionals; babies don't have the fine motor skills or chemistry knowledge to create baby oil, duh.

Baby oil is useful for a lot of things beyond baby bottoms. It'll smooth, soften, lubricate, refinish, clean, and so much more. It also has some usual uses for which it really oughtn't be used. Read on for some tips and tricks that'll help you step your baby oil game up.

Step 1: First, some don'ts

Don't use baby oil as a "personal" lubricant, particularly if you are using a latex condom. (Just look at the next step to see who wins in the latex vs. baby oil battle royale.)

Don't use baby oil to tan. Melanoma looks bad enough without being shiny.

Don't eat baby oil. It has laxative properties and likely doesn't taste delicious. (Mineral oil is safe for human consumption, but only up to around 100 mg. Many of those milligrams come from food-grade mineral oil that's used in baking and other industrial food processing places because it's odorless and tasteless. My guess is that baby oil mineral oil isn't food-grade. Stay safe: don't guzzle a bottle of it.)

Don't use it in your 2-stroke engine.

Don't aim baby oil at helicopter pilots. Wait... that's for lasers. But you should still be careful around helicopter pilots with baby oil. It can be a slip-fall hazard, and pilots prefer the scent of aviation fuel.
On behalf of the nation of Canada, I am obliged to inform you that -10 C is not cold. <br>You get down to -20 and then we'll talk. <br> <br>That being said, this is a really good way to prevent windburn, much like a good lipbalm, only all ovah ya face.
<p>I would like to say -20 C is not really that cold......-40 C is cold especially in a breeze about 60 clicks (kph). Then, your finger tips, ear lobes, nose points and toe tips are quite numb and not feeling, and not bending or responding to nerve commands from the brain and ......oh the pain, the pain inside the house, directly afterwards. Most commonly found in Calgary, Alberta and map points north as well as the East Kootenays especially above 4500-5000 feet and skyward. Mighty chilly... felt insulated boots, down-filled parkas and a companion (human, not grizzly and certain not canine unless huskies with sweet disposition. </p>
<p>Ah yes, the cherished perennial Canadian pastime of boasting who has it coldest. I actually reside in the hideous metropolis of Calgary. And we only had a couple of days of -28 last winter, at the worst. The wind, howling down those concrete corridors of the downtown, is what will make a mere -28 feel like the pits of Hell have frozen over and the age of despair is nigh.<br>I realize that my comment from 5 years ago must have stirred you deeply in your Canuck blood, but I meant -20 as a threshold marker; it is certainly not VERY cold, nor is it the worst a Canadian winter has to offer, but it is the point at which I concede that perhaps it's time to swap in the parka for the down vest, that perhaps winter HAS come again, and that longjohns might be a practical idea for the transit commute.<br>And now I need me some warm tea just thinking about it.<br></p>
<p>I wish that I could live in a place that cold... By my standards, it gets really hot where I live. In the summer, up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit(38 C). You people are probably laughing at me because you live in an area close to the equator or in some place like California, but I'm a cold climate creature.</p>
I acknowledge that -20 C is cold, but I'm from Montana. -20C is nothing, it's not strange to have -40F with a wind chill of -70 or 80. That would be about -57C...
<p>-70F is not -57C.. it's -21C ... your point is invalid... yes I know, 3 years late, but someone had to tell you...</p>
<p>Not sure what conversion app you're using, but -70F is most definitely about -57C. Farenheit and Celsius meet at -40 and then Fahrenheit starts seeming like the more impressive number, but Celsius would still be lower than -40. <br>-21C is about -6F</p>
<p>actually -70F is infact -57C so their point is valid, sorry (-70-32)/1.8 = 56.7(1dp)</p>
I was going to comment on this, but you basicly nailed it!<br><br>-30 a couple of nights a year in these parts, colder happens... I was happy when my car started at -34 C .. :-)
&lt;/pissing contest&gt;
Florida, here. 2004 saw hurricanes Charley, Frances, and Ivan. Mineral oil was great for getting camp gear unstuck during the blackout, keeping the native &quot;no-see-ums&quot; at bay, keeping the watermarks on the hardwood floors from gaining any permanence, and keeping various tools from becoming rusted and inoperable.<br><br>Vacation seasons often see vacationers trying to substitute baby oil for suntan oil or afterburn oil...which, by the way, is an excellent way to develop blisters in a sunburn - but not so great for &quot;tan acceleration&quot;, contrary to vacationers' expectations. It's also great for getting the fans unstuck after a season of storage.<br><br>Baby oil is also excellent at removing Kool Seal from hirsute homeowners' forearms, as, yes, it breaks down the latex.<br><br>Yes, it also makes for a great bath oil - but only in moderation, and - as with all oils - always be certain to clean the oil out afterwards, as the tub can get quite slick for the shower-taker afterwards.
<p>Do you just put it on the skin to keep the bugs off?</p>
<p>I'd have baby oil in with Avon's Skin So Soft together. But what I was referring to was when unfolding the netting [which was on stuck hinges], and using the mineral oil to unstick the hinges. The netting would keep the mosquitoes and &quot;no see ums&quot; at bay, alongside the citronella tiki torches and the no-mosquito formula a friend makes of SsS and baby oil. </p>
Try Northern alberta. Minus 50 withoutany windchill. and winnipeg where its regularly in the minus 40's
HA!!<br>I've got you ALL beat.<br>Try sitting on a warm sunny beach with a light breeze, your favorite drink, and favorite person/people.<br>Well...I'm not saying that's where I am, but it'd SURE be nice :)
Seriously - I know most people like this... but to me that environment (except the people!) is one of the worst situations I can find myself in.<br><br>I much prefer if it never gets above 30F. I'm just different.<br><br><br>
And I thought the song said:<br><br>Almost Heaven... West Virgnia.<br><br>And here you have been hiding it up there all this time!<br><br>BTW - beautiful country up there!
On behalf of the people of Hoth ...
My pet wampa agrees
Well try 45 C. For half a week on end.
On behalf of those who are native to the Great Lake snow belts, -20 Celsius also is not that cold. When you get down to around -30 F (-34 Celsius), and the humidity is high enough that your nose-flesh literally freezes when you try to breathe - this is when its starts to get cold. Standing on the shores of the Lake with it blowing in your face - while the temp is in this range also will make it hard for anyone to say they are &quot;cold&quot; ever again. <br><br>And as to wind chill - forget it... -30 windchill &quot;feels like&quot; is picnic weather when comparing it to actual mercury levels on the thermometer.<br><br>Now we need someone from Siberia to post and say, -30 is nothing b/c...<br><br>:^)
I agree. -10C is nothing. -20C is cold, maybe awful. I am glad that I have never experienced -30C! I tried to run in -21C, and I got more tired than usually. Applying vaseline or baby oil on the skin is useful if you're outside for a longer time, but won't these freeze or makes it worser on the longer term?<br><br>-10C can even feel comfortable or really awful, it depends on<br>the wind and humity. I recommend slowly acclimating yourself to the cold weather by going out (shortly) with little clothes, letting oneself freeze and becomes cold to make it easier for the body to accept colder climates. I usually do that at autumn. :)
From experience over many years, here is an even easier way to acclimate in just a few hours...<br><br>Go out in the cold all bundled up. Do some back breaking labor - like splitting firewood. As you get warmer start stripping off outer layers of clothing until, Keep doing this until you are in a T-shirt. When you get done with the work, go in the house and take a shower but do not try to cook yourself b/c the water feels good. Also do not have the heat in the house up so it is baking you. And, above all, do NOT use an electric blanket - these cook you all night and your body gets to expecting this kind of heat and then you cannot acclimate.<br><br>I used to go to school in SC and would come home during Christmas vacation to the Lake Erie snow belt. The first day I was home I did this very thing and, from then on, just had on a light jacket &amp; hat while still home. <br><br>And if I was willing to write a book, one of the most intelligent sayings I have ever heard is an old indian saying: &quot;white men get cold b/c they treat cold like an enemy instead of a friend.&quot; I have found this more and more true as I get older. Explore the meaning of this saying and it will be hard for you to be uncomfortable in cooler climates. I also find my immune system is stronger.
<p>The Indians here in the southwest used to live in the basin in the winter and up in the mountains in the summer, so they were also a little sensitive about the cold and the heat too.</p>
&gt; &quot;white men get cold b/c they treat cold like an enemy instead of a friend.&quot; .....<br><br>True, beautiful said. Thanks. The Western have lost a lot compared to the ancient tribes living in harmony with the nature. Look at the animals and birds, do you actually see somebody resisting the cold weather?<br>They seems to shrug it away, it seems that they're listening more to the body, it's older and more developed than the brain. Where does the resistance most people have comes from?<br><br>The modern world seems to have that attitude that everything unknown/uncomfortable is a enemy to one's welfare. I wonder why.
Discomfort and pain are your body's way of telling you &quot;something's wrong, fix it or I'll keep annoying you.&quot;
On behalf of Australians: .... 20C is pretty cold... i think my legs would drop off at -20C. :D but I suppose you get used to the weather wherever you are, eventually.
On behalf of Missouri, at least you all have predictable weather. One day we'll have rain, sun for half the next day, followed by snow, all ended nicely with tornado warnings, usually mixed with a little flooding.
...or have 80 weather and five inches of snow two days later :)
Hear Hear Tanamoril!!!!
<p>thank you for all the helpful ideas I will def Be doing all of these </p>
<p>*defineltly oops</p>
<p>I just read your baby oil instructable and I really enjoyed your sense of humour......so dry and so witty. You must be a fun person to live with......however, if this humour turns acidic or sarcastic.....it burns and burns. Keep up the good work, otherwise.</p>
<p>I can give you another use for baby oil. This one is for those who, like myself, wear a longer than average beard. There are specialist beard oils on the market. They cost &pound;&pound;&pound;'s or $$$'s depending on which country you live in; in other words expensive!!! Take a small bottle of baby oil and decant into a smaller handy sized bottle of around 50ml. Then add about 10 drops of your favourite essential oil. I tend to use rosemary and lavender mixed but I have also got a bottle of cedarwood mixed up. I then drip a few drops onto a comb and work it through my beard. It keeps the hair tangle free and conditions it beautifully. It also makes it easier to control and shape. Best of all it costs a heck of a lot less than specialist beard oil :) You can of course just use plain, neat baby oil if you don't want the fragrance.</p>
<p>Very nice to hear from the bearded men. Sweet smelling &quot;hay&quot; on a chin can affect women by swooning.</p>
Baby oil is also useful for stopping creaking floor boards. Just trickle a small amount on the joint and hey presto.
Talc is far better !
While you are generally right, insofar as noise is concerned, it depends on the situation and effects you are seeking. <br><br>Creaking is the result of shrinking of the wood caused by loss of moisture. If appropriate, oil can swell the wood and reduce noise. On the West Coast, decks often look horrible in the summer, after they've dried and shrunk back down, revealing cracks and splits. Oil, when it soaks into the wood, has the same swelling effect as water, but without rot problems and it doesn't evaporate at the rate water does.<br><br>Similar to with decks, mineral oil is good for butcher blocks. I have restored them by merely slathering on mineral oil (not adulterated mineral oil, like baby oil). After soaking for a few days, all the separations between pieces and cracks from drying disappeared.
If it's 'Baby Oil', how can it be 'adulterated', wouldn't it become Matured Oil? <br>I need to go to bed, this is getting to me!!
baby oil has added scent, which wouldn't be a good thing for a Butcher block or cutting board where food is going to be prepared. using plain mineral oil is a better option in that case.
using any petroleum based product near food is a bad idea.....walnut oil, etc. better for wood surfaces that are used for food.
well, that's very true and I'd never thought of walnut oil. I was only commenting on the inadvisability of adding baby oil scent to food. LOL next time I have trouble with a cutting board I'll find some walnut oil rather than tossing it.
Just for reference, be aware walnut cooking oil is a hardening oil, whereas mineral oil is a non hardening oil.<br><br>Hardening oils include oils like tung oil and boiled linseed oil. While both would be poisonous to ingest. &quot;Boiled&quot; linseed oil is flax seed oil with heavy metals added to speed hardening (polymerization). It tends to darken wood. Tung oil often has heavy metals added too, but would be toxic without them. It and walnut oil do not darken wood like boiled linseed oil.<br><br>Hardening oils take time to harden. If they are pre-polymerized and have hardeners added, they will dry quicker. In any event, all excess hardening oil should be wiped off, or it will orange peel, and will take longer to dry.<br><br>Many people use olive oil to treat wood food preparation surfaces. However, olive oil goes rancid (lots of free radicals) from exposure to air. You can usually smell a breadboard treated with olive oil. <br><br>When any standard finish (e.g., shellac, polyurethane, lacquer, hardening oil) hardens, it is considered safe for food grade finishes.<br><br>While I agree mineral oil probably isn't something we should be drinking, the amount you would get on your food, after treating a butcher block or bread board would not be significant. Too, after treating with mineral oil, you can put a hardening oil or other oil compatible finish on to seal in the oil.
linseed oil does not have to be &quot;boiled&quot; to harden, it will just take longer (a few weeks instead of a few days) and therefore penetrate further. An example of a vegetable oil that stays liquid is sweet almond oil...almond and walnut oil can be toxic if not pressed a certain way though
Linseed oil is not actually boiled. It is said it got its name because it appeared to be boiling, as air was blown through it to speed up polimyerization. <br> <br>Linseed oil is made from flax seed. After it is put through a process, which often includes adding heavy metal driers, it is called boiled linseed oil.
huh, I didn't know that. Are you sure? I would think that if you blew air through the oil, it would harden pretty fast and would therefore not keep well. It was my understanding that heating the oil changed it so that it reacted faster with oxygen, but as long as it wasn't exposed to air, it would keep, without polymerizing (setting). <br>Like I said before, pure linseed oil will still harden/oxidize/set, but a lot slower than boiled linseed.
<p>Boiled linseed oil is a different substance to linseed oil. I did not know this until I researched it. I honestly thought that boiled linseed oil was just that, linseed oil that had been boiled... I tried boiling ordinary linseed oil... I do not recommend it as the smell is disgusting and penetrates the whole house. Guess who was in trouble in our house that day... erm week :/</p>
Vegetable oils can turn rancid <em>(and generally does in time),</em> that's why mineral oil is recommended for wood surfaces that come in contact with food. Mineral safe for human use can be found at the pharmacy.
well, the safety of using a mineral oil, which is a petroleum product, in and around food, in and on the body, are always under debate, and really there's no real way to assure anyone that it is safe.<br><br> it's just that they haven't developed the methods to MEASURE or quantify the damage that petroleum products can do to the body, cells or other parts of the body. as we note the difference in advisability of eating vicks, between 1940 and now for instance, or the difference in the known safety of Cocaine between 1900 and 1960, so we may find the answer to this question changing over the next 50 years.

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Bio: I'm an English teacher and former Instructables staff member.
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