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Have you heard that joke about baby oil? The one that goes something like:

If corn oil is made with corn and peanut oil is made with peanuts, then what is baby oil made with?

The answer: Baby oil is made with mineral oil and fragrance by industrial professionals; babies don't have the fine motor skills or chemistry knowledge to create baby oil, duh.

Baby oil is useful for a lot of things beyond baby bottoms. It'll smooth, soften, lubricate, refinish, clean, and so much more. It also has some usual uses for which it really oughtn't be used. Read on for some tips and tricks that'll help you step your baby oil game up.

Step 1: First, some don'ts

Don't use baby oil as a "personal" lubricant, particularly if you are using a latex condom. (Just look at the next step to see who wins in the latex vs. baby oil battle royale.)

Don't use baby oil to tan. Melanoma looks bad enough without being shiny.

Don't eat baby oil. It has laxative properties and likely doesn't taste delicious. (Mineral oil is safe for human consumption, but only up to around 100 mg. Many of those milligrams come from food-grade mineral oil that's used in baking and other industrial food processing places because it's odorless and tasteless. My guess is that baby oil mineral oil isn't food-grade. Stay safe: don't guzzle a bottle of it.)

Don't use it in your 2-stroke engine.

Don't aim baby oil at helicopter pilots. Wait... that's for lasers. But you should still be careful around helicopter pilots with baby oil. It can be a slip-fall hazard, and pilots prefer the scent of aviation fuel.

Step 2: Get latex paint off of skin

I've worked as a painter for a couple of years, and one thing was certain: I ended up with paint on me. Somewhere.

Latex paints and primers are sneaky. Sometimes they just rub off like rubber cement, other times they'll stay in your knuckles for a couple of days. Whenever some Lava soap couldn't get all the Lemon Ice or Chesapeake Gray paint off of my hands, baby oil would come to the rescue.

Rub a little onto the part of your body covered in paint using a cotton ball, shop towel, napkin, or anything else you've got on hand that will absorb the baby oil. Rub in concentric circles from the outside in without applying too much pressure. This isn't a scrub, it's more a gentle, localized massage. You can scrub to your heart's content after you've washed it off with some soap and water, once you feel you've made some progress with the oil.

This worked when I dropped a five gallon bucket of paint on myself while on a ladder in a Sears, because five gallons manages to get past the normal problem areas (hands, arms, flecks on the face from rolling out a ceiling) and into some unusual locations that could be sensitive to paint thinner. Presumably the oil degrades the latex to the point that it will flake off. This is why condom + baby oil = one beautiful bundle of joy 9 months later.

Step 3: Massage oil

Use it as a massage oil. Remember our latex lessons from the previous step. Rubber gloves will degrade, as will balloons and some parts of massager attachments.

Try this or this if you need some massage ideas.

Step 4: Remove earwax

When in-ear headphones were just starting to become a thing, I went deaf in one ear. Panicked, I went to the doctor only to discover that I had a cebum compaction, earwax clogging my ear to the point I couldn't hear. Gross, right?

For the temporarily hearing impaired, there's an easy home remedy to handle that waxy buildup: baby oil!

While laying on your side or tilting your head so your affected ear is up, drop five drops of baby oil inside (warmed, if you really want to dissolve the mess) your ear. Let it stay for long enough to dissolve some of the wax, then let the oil drain out onto a clean towel or into the sink. A small amount of warm water can be used to dislodge any last bits with a small bulb or needle-less syringe.

Step 5: Take off eye makeup

Put some baby oil on a cotton ball. Gently rub it over any eye makeup that you want to remove. Maybe use another cotton ball to wipe away any excess oil.

This one does double duty: removes makeup and makes your eyelids soft and supple.

Step 6: Bath oil

Put a few drops into the next bath you draw. It'll leave your skin feeling touchably soft and silky. May not prevent pruniness in the extremities.

Step 7: Post-shave oil

Use as an after-shave oil after shaving any non-face part of the body. Works best as a layer over the top of some traditional moisturizer to lock in the freshness.

Step 8: Keep warm

My little sister went to school in Montana. The temperature routinely dropped below -10 degrees Celsius. She would use baby oil or Vaseline as an extra layer of insulation on any exposed skin as she hiked her way to class. It apparently prevented any facial frostbite, as she still has her nose attached.

There are limits to how helpful or practical this is. You can't just grease up and head out in your skivvies when birds are dropping from trees encased in ice. But YMMV.

Step 9: Soften cracked or dry heels

If your heels are cracked, dry, and unsightly... baby oil and a sock will help. (I recognize that these two items are often used in conjunction for other purposes: filming extra-slippery versions of the Risky Business slide, freshening up a pair of stinky socks, and even - though I hesitate to mention it - cleaning off the sides of a dribbly bottle of baby oil.)

Apply some baby oil over your heel before bed, put on some socks, then wake up transformed like a Jergens-Kafka mashup.

Step 10: Reduce stretch marks during pregnancy

Apply some baby oil to soften skin and prevent stretch marks during pregnancy. I hear good things about cocoa butter as well. Shea butter. Anything greasy and easily-absorbent.

But baby oil is perfect, since you're applying the oil directly to the baby's temporary home.

Step 11: Shine wooden furniture

If your dinner party is starting in ten minutes and you've just noticed that there are hideous water stains on your tabletops, have no fear. Baby oil can help by providing a quick polish.

The mineral oil will put a nice shine on the furniture, helping to create a water-proof barrier and an understated shine that should impress any and all guests. Plus, it'll smell fresh and baby-like.

Step 12: Untangle a necklace chain

Sometimes there will be a snarl in your necklace that seems impossible to undo. Before you throw away your diamonds and gold in frustration, try a quick baby oil bath. It'll lubricate the metal links, allowing them to separate more easily. Use a pin to work out the tangled knot after the dunk in oil.

Presto! You just saved a couple grand by not throwing away your jewelry. You're welcome.

Step 13: Remove bubblegum, wax, or bandaids

If you've got some bubblegum or wax on your body or in your hair, baby oil will get it out. Apply a small amount to the affected area, let it sit, then work at the mess with your fingertips. It'll make the gum easier to get out, it'll soften the wax, and it will help the bandage come off without tearing out any hair.

This is a particularly good method of removing excess wax after an eyebrow or bikini job.

For those of you who remove more band-aids than body hair, applying some baby oil around the bandage is a great middle-of-the-road option for people who can't subscribe to the RIP IT OFF! camp or the IT'LL FALL OFF ON ITS OWN, DON'T TOUCH IT! contingent. Firm but gentle, that's the way to do it. Tough love.
Good solvent for removing gummed labels, price stickers, etc. from non-porous surfaces. WD40 is even better.
WD-40 is Fish Oil, also good for arthritis stiffness
No fish oil in WD-40. That's a myth. Good stuff regardless.
<p>That sounds very <em>fishy</em> to me, I don't believe that it's true</p>
<p>If it had fish oil in it, It would smell like fish...</p>
Horsefeathers, Bosun Rick. I do not doubt the arthritis benefits. WD40 is good for many things you won't find on the label. &nbsp;There is no fish oil in WD40, that's another urban legend (a fish tale?).<br> <br> Here's another WD40 use I have tried successfully: restoring noisy carbon potentiometers. I feel safer using Caig Deoxit, but WD40 sure seems to work as well.&nbsp;
fish oil in wd-40 is true. 100% google-proof.
<p>&quot;Sorry Charlie&reg;, it just ain&rsquo;t so.&quot;</p><p>So says the official WD-40 website. Even if there was some fish oil in it, the information from MSDS data sheets shows the vast majority of its ingredients are petroleum-based.</p>
<p>a couple of previous posters mentioned mineral oil or baby oil on metalic/stainless finish appliances (like the stainless fridges) I think one said it worked and another poster claimed it didn't. Well I can tell ya from personal experience that WD40 works great on stainless appliances. Many naysayers will warn that it is a fire hazard on the stove; but I didn't think so; I just wiped off the excess. It really worked great; and fast too. I wasn't scrubbing and polishing all day.</p>
<p>Very interesting an humor-istic 'Ible, Thanks for sharing!</p>
<p>uses for baby oil https://chaibeedi.com/uses-for-baby-oil-you-didnt-know-about-and-that-have-nothing-to-do-with-babies/</p>
<p>It's true baby oil can make your skin feel SO soft when you use it in your bath. HOWEVER, they should add a VERY serious warning on this one. Using baby oil in the bath makes it EXTREMELY slippery and can be extremely hazardous, especially if you're an older individual. I used to use baby oil a lot in years long past. I was lucky I never slipped enough to have any serious injuries however I did have a few close calls. If you choose to use baby oil versus something like Calgon (my preference today), please be EXTREMELY careful getting out of the tub; make sure you hold onto something else the entire time. </p>
<p>These are good hints, I've used some of them years ago in my life, even some of the don't. Back when I was a young teen in the early 1970s EVERY girl tried to tan themselves with baby oil. That was THE &quot;it&quot; product of the day. Of course we hadn't heard a ton of warnings about skin cancer yet or numerous other warnings. As a fair, blue-eyed blond I learned fairly quickly all people did like me was burn. No fun.....</p>
On behalf of the nation of Canada, I am obliged to inform you that -10 C is not cold. <br>You get down to -20 and then we'll talk. <br> <br>That being said, this is a really good way to prevent windburn, much like a good lipbalm, only all ovah ya face.
-20 still not cold enough. I've been out for 10 minutes in -26 with t-shirt and shorts. Saw powerlines fall th as t day.
<p>Ten minutes. But would you say that you would normally go out in shorts in that weather? All day? Or that this would be a good idea that most Canadians should or would do? No. We're smarter than that. You did it once, and I'm going to guess it was because you had to do one quick thing and couldn't be bothered to get layered up for just a short while. I'm sure we all have done similar.at some point; I know I have.</p>
<p>Wait a minute ... WTF Jes*s Chr*st don't you cretins know we're about to be burnt up because of CO2 generated Global Warming ... just ask any Liberal fok just ask Lord Obama ... :P</p>
<p>Like we need anymore reasons to never live in Canada.</p>
<p>If you can't stand the cold, stay out of the refrigerator.</p>
In that case, what do you call hot?
<p>You know, a lot of this just comes down to personal preference and this comment thread is really just a pissing contest now. <br>I hate anything over 25 C. That's just me, probably.</p>
I was going to comment on this, but you basicly nailed it!<br><br>-30 a couple of nights a year in these parts, colder happens... I was happy when my car started at -34 C .. :-)
&lt;/pissing contest&gt;
<p>what's the problem with a little pissing contest... or is it that you just like stating the obvious?</p>
<p>indeed!</p>
Try Northern alberta. Minus 50 withoutany windchill. and winnipeg where its regularly in the minus 40's
<p>I was birthed in Cold Lake, AB and came of age north of Chicoutimi, PQ so boy was I ecstatic when we relocated to Toronto where it rarely drops below -30C. Now that's balmy =D</p>
And I thought the song said:<br><br>Almost Heaven... West Virgnia.<br><br>And here you have been hiding it up there all this time!<br><br>BTW - beautiful country up there!
Florida, here. 2004 saw hurricanes Charley, Frances, and Ivan. Mineral oil was great for getting camp gear unstuck during the blackout, keeping the native &quot;no-see-ums&quot; at bay, keeping the watermarks on the hardwood floors from gaining any permanence, and keeping various tools from becoming rusted and inoperable.<br><br>Vacation seasons often see vacationers trying to substitute baby oil for suntan oil or afterburn oil...which, by the way, is an excellent way to develop blisters in a sunburn - but not so great for &quot;tan acceleration&quot;, contrary to vacationers' expectations. It's also great for getting the fans unstuck after a season of storage.<br><br>Baby oil is also excellent at removing Kool Seal from hirsute homeowners' forearms, as, yes, it breaks down the latex.<br><br>Yes, it also makes for a great bath oil - but only in moderation, and - as with all oils - always be certain to clean the oil out afterwards, as the tub can get quite slick for the shower-taker afterwards.
<p>Do you just put it on the skin to keep the bugs off?</p>
<p>I'd have baby oil in with Avon's Skin So Soft together. But what I was referring to was when unfolding the netting [which was on stuck hinges], and using the mineral oil to unstick the hinges. The netting would keep the mosquitoes and &quot;no see ums&quot; at bay, alongside the citronella tiki torches and the no-mosquito formula a friend makes of SsS and baby oil. </p>
On behalf of the people of Hoth ...
My pet wampa agrees
LOL.
Well try 45 C. For half a week on end.
<p>On the behalf of the state of Maryland, let me tell you that it is normal for it to be -20</p><p>Lucky Day! </p>
<p>Matey are you bragging or complaining about the cold? We are used to 50 degrees Centigrade</p>
On behalf of Missouri, at least you all have predictable weather. One day we'll have rain, sun for half the next day, followed by snow, all ended nicely with tornado warnings, usually mixed with a little flooding.
<p>Not to mention it can be pouring down rain but the sun is still shining and it is about freezing temperatures</p>
<p>or raining in one spot and bone dry ten feet away from it. But hey, I'm not complaining :)</p>
So true
Colorado in the middle of the U. S. Can reach both extremes in temperature any season don't like the weather wait 15 or 20 mins it will change
...or have 80 weather and five inches of snow two days later :)
<p>In a perversely humorous way, I understand &quot;relative heat ranges&quot; and acclimatisation...</p><p>.</p><p>When I hear of people in say Moscow, dropping dead in a heat wave reaching 23*C for 3 days running, I mean it's not funny, but the issue of them calling 23*C a heat wave, is to me, because where I live, 45*C + is a pretty sort of extreme heat wave..... but in the middle of winter, the typical day time temperatures are like 8*C - BUT in Moscow, it's something like -20 or 30*C.</p><p>.</p><p>Which is interesting - as the average temperature span between a normally cold winter and a normally hot summer, seems to be about 30 - 35*, only their temperature range is SOOOOOO much lower than ours, but the effect of &quot;over heating&quot; in a heat wave, is about the same.</p><p>.</p><p>And while they start dropping dead in their version of a heat wave, you see them swimming at the beach with ice in the water in their summer time, while we would not go to the beach until it got up to about 30 - 35*C....</p><p>. </p>
<p>I would like to say -20 C is not really that cold......-40 C is cold especially in a breeze about 60 clicks (kph). Then, your finger tips, ear lobes, nose points and toe tips are quite numb and not feeling, and not bending or responding to nerve commands from the brain and ......oh the pain, the pain inside the house, directly afterwards. Most commonly found in Calgary, Alberta and map points north as well as the East Kootenays especially above 4500-5000 feet and skyward. Mighty chilly... felt insulated boots, down-filled parkas and a companion (human, not grizzly and certain not canine unless huskies with sweet disposition. </p>
<p>dat's cold !</p>
<p>Ah yes, the cherished perennial Canadian pastime of boasting who has it coldest. I actually reside in the hideous metropolis of Calgary. And we only had a couple of days of -28 last winter, at the worst. The wind, howling down those concrete corridors of the downtown, is what will make a mere -28 feel like the pits of Hell have frozen over and the age of despair is nigh.<br>I realize that my comment from 5 years ago must have stirred you deeply in your Canuck blood, but I meant -20 as a threshold marker; it is certainly not VERY cold, nor is it the worst a Canadian winter has to offer, but it is the point at which I concede that perhaps it's time to swap in the parka for the down vest, that perhaps winter HAS come again, and that longjohns might be a practical idea for the transit commute.<br>And now I need me some warm tea just thinking about it.<br></p>
<p>I wish that I could live in a place that cold... By my standards, it gets really hot where I live. In the summer, up to 100 degrees Fahrenheit(38 C). You people are probably laughing at me because you live in an area close to the equator or in some place like California, but I'm a cold climate creature.</p>
I acknowledge that -20 C is cold, but I'm from Montana. -20C is nothing, it's not strange to have -40F with a wind chill of -70 or 80. That would be about -57C...
<p>-70F is not -57C.. it's -21C ... your point is invalid... yes I know, 3 years late, but someone had to tell you...</p>

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