Can't you get a date, even with a calendar? Women find you dark and mysterious, but not in the good way? The answer you hear from human females is "sorry, I have a boyfriend, and I don't think he likes to see you and me together", even when you were only asking for the restroom?

STOP PRETENDING YOU ARE A NORMAL GUY! Because you aren't. You are creepy. Period. But it doesn't have to be a problem for expressing your feelings and getting the attention of a nice lady. Remember: Johnny Depp was a nobody. But he started acting in "Nightmare on Elm Street" and people loved his bed scene. After that, most of his characters are dark, crazy or twisted. The result? All women say "I love Johnny! He's so... creepy, cute and sexy!".

So, the thing is simple: become an openly creepy cute guy. First step: start giving creepy cute gifts. Like ice statues made with your scissorhands, or some nice flowers you found on the cemetery. No, a collage made with her pictures and yours with the caption in red capital letters "You will be mine. In this life or the another" won't work. I tried it. Twice.

You can make a quick present using trash and give it to the lucky lady, showing that you are not only creepy, but also, creative and special! The only things you need are a small heart (I'm talking about a plastic one; so, please Gary... release that bunny. NOW!), a batteries operated toy (preferable with a very slow motion) and heaphones.

If you have the right materials, you can make this toy in one hour or less (I made it in 30 minutes).

Step 1: Materials and Tools

To find these materials probably will be easier than finding a girlfriend in San Francisco. But still, you can find substitutes on a thrift store or the dumpster (of course, I'm talking about the materials):

1 motor and gearbox from a toy (with an axle for wheels): I used a damaged spy camera. The slow motion of its mechanism adds a creepier effect. And it's big enough for being the body.
1 Skull Candy damaged headset: for the wheels and arms. The skull drawings are an unintended complement.
1 Heart shaped damaged mini speaker: It has its own batteries holder.
2 thin plastic cylinder that fit in the gearbox axle and could be attached to the wheels: I use two from the remaining parts of the insuline syringes I used on the Robo Candy Bowl.
2 corner brace inside L (3/4in. x 1/2in.)
2 AAA batteries
1 plastic antenna from a router
1 rubber washer
Nuts, bolts and iron washers
1 switch
Wire
Superglue (cyanoacrylate)

TOOLS

Dremel Rotary Tool
tweezers
screwdivers
pliers
Wire cutters
Screwdriver kit
Soldering Iron

Step 2: The Gearbox

I opened the toy and removed the gearbox, using a Phillips screwdriver.

Step 3: The Headset

Then, I dismantled the headset. The plastic part of the headphones will become the wheels, and the head support will become the arms.

Step 4: The Wheels

Then, I made the wheels, attaching the plastic cylinder from the syringes, to the center of the circular pieces from the headphones. I used superglue.

Step 5: Attaching the Wheels

I attached each wheel on each end of the axle, then I fixed them with superglue. I had to be very careful about not to glue the wheels to the main body.

Step 6: The Back Wheel

I made the back wheel (for stability) using the router antenna and the rubber washer. I just inserted the washer to the antenna's mobile part, and then I attached the other end to the body.

Step 7: The Heart

I opened the heart using a screwdriver, then I soldered wires to the batteries box terminals. I added a switch for turning on/off the gearbox. I glued the plug to the heart, then I closed it.

Step 8: Head and Shoulders

Using one bolt, one nut and two washers, I attached one corner brace to each side of the body, for installing the arms later.

I inserted the plug of the heart/head on top of the body, then I fixed it with superglue.

Step 9: Connecting

I inserted the AAA batteries on the batteries box (located in the heart) and connected the wires to the motor, testing the wheels to go forward. Then, I solder the wires to the motor.

Step 10: Attaching the Arms And... Ready for "Love"

I drilled a hole on the ends of each headset piece, and attached them to the corner braces, using nuts and bolts.

Now, your creepy and cute gift is ready! Now, time to find the lady... MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! :-)