Instructables

5 ways tea could help you survive a zombie outbreak

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Picture of 5 ways tea could help you survive a zombie outbreak
Shotgun..Check
Machete...Check
Armoured Personnel Carrier...Check

20 bags of tea...What?

When people think of "Zombie Outbreak" they never think to bring along some tea bags, yet tea can come in very useful when the undead break out of hell to ravage the land until we are all dead.

Here are 5 ways tea can help you survive the next zombie outbreak.
 
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Step 1: Soothe Tired Eyes

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After staying up all night fighting zombies you'll need to freshen up your eyes. Put a wet tea bag on each eye for 20 minutes to freshen them up!

Step 2: Stop Bleeding Gums

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Did that zombie punch you in the teeth again? If your gums are bleeding, you can press a tea bag onto the bleeding area to stop the bleeding and keep killing zombies.

Step 3: Stop Foot Odor

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After the zombies take over, you'll be lucky to have one pair of shoes. Everyday to prevent foot rot, you should soak your feet everyday in a tea bath to keep the healthy and fresh!

Step 4: Soothe Injection Points

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You may need some inoculations after the apocalypse, if your shot area hurts too much hold a tea bag there for 20 minutes to soothe the area.

Step 5: Reduce Razor Burn

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Supplies will be thin after the zombie apocalyspe. if you decide to shave, razor burn is inevitable. Help cool down razor burn with a wet tea bag on the affected areas.


Good luck when the zombies take over, and remember to grab a carton of tea while you run for you life.
MarisaM1 year ago
My plan for the zombie apocalypse? Hopefully it happens after I build my house. I'd be golden. 100% self sustainable house including food since it's got an indoor as well as outdoor garden, thermal heating/cooling and rainwater collection & treatment, solar and wind power. Seeing as it's gonna be in the middle of nowhere, I don't think we'll be getting many visitors anyway, but in the event of the apocalypse i'd probably install a high-voltage electric fence lol
I now have a mental picture of zombies shambling after people on Rodeo Drive then suddenly stopping and thinking "OH! Those Loubotins are TO DIE FOR!"
mbusby2 years ago
Used and dried out tea bags make great fire starters - just want to keep an eye out for the cops though because it smells very much like weed when it is burnt - yes stoner type weed, not your ordinary garden variety weeds. (14 year olds take note Cops DONOT have a sense of humour no matter where you live).

About 30 years ago I used to freak out my nosey neighbours by burning a couple every saturday night on a wood fired BBQ.

Had them utterly convinced I was some sort of drug fiend. :D

I'm Australian and yes we do stuff like this all the time because we are born to take the pizz out of anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.
Plo Koon mbusby2 years ago
that is funny!
what about flares? if you take a stapled tea bag, by removing the staple and standing it up, you then light it at the top and you get a nice flare
me0w4 years ago
thats a little scary
Tea is an antibiotic so it's actually a good idea
how so
AndyGadget4 years ago
I'd rather sit comfortably in my (zombie proof) ivory tower, sipping lapsang-souchong from a china cup and observe the carnage proceding below.
Much more civilised.
Room for more?
(yes, I do windows..)
;)
(and a bit snobbish.) WHO SAID THAT?
... Are your gums bloody from flossing? haha :-)
trigger1014 years ago
HA! I'm going to Bass Pro Shops!! Guns, food. And grills and propane so if I run out of food there's always the fish tank :D Who's with me?
You, sire, have given me my newest idea for a zombie holdout. Only issue is those pesky display windows...
Very true...but I'm sure we could cover them up somehow. Perhaps some paint? But there are also bows and arrows and other kinds of ammo. Plus the shooting range could be another good hideout.
Sadly, there isn't a shooting range up here in Alberta =/ The Bass Pro Shop here is attached to the Cross Iron Mills Mall, so I'm sure that I could get my hands on some supplies to block the windows and the door that accesses the rest of the mall...

Have you not seen "Dawn of the Dead"?  The mall is the last place you want to be...LOL!!!

Actually the BPS in Ab would be a cool place to hole up...as long as them stuffed moose don't get reanimated!!!  Those are big SOBs!!
HBU daemonfist2 years ago
LMAOROTF talk about testing the stopping power of the gun in the case
No, a mall can be good, provided you do it right

For example, although there ARE plenty of display windows (bad), there is a second story with railings. Remove railings in key areas, destroy all stair cases, make a rope ladder, and tada! Protection from zombies PLUS easy to grab weapons!
Very true, Shadowater. So, who wants to migrate with me to the nearest BPS? We have deer jerky!! *licks lips*
As long as it isn't zombie deer jerky! :D
Now why would we have that? Wouldn't want to spread the virus. ;)
Good point

Too bad zombies are too clumsy and slow to be an actual threat... Even if the military didn't get them (the only hope the zombies have is that, if I recall, people are trained to aim for the torso and not the head), well, with all the zombie fans out there, they wouldn't stand a chance

Of course, if they are anything like the rage virus kind, then, well...
Then we wouldn't really be that safe, huh?
well it depends on how they became zombies if it is the traditanal one than maby if it is not guted but other wise no if it is the left 4 dead there than no way
My BPS isn't in a mall. LOL and ah! Attack of the moose!!
Well that stinks. In Florida all of our BPS are one big building.
scout locations for stores with the roll down window grates. there's gotta be one that has them, if not then some unethical folks could break the windows regularly enough that the store would install them to stop the window breaking, then problem solved. (porcelain will break temper glass very easily, even very small pieces like broken spark plug insulators. don't know why, just does. ) perfect zombie holdout.*commenter does not advocate vandalism*
Oooh. Good point. Well it should be easy enough to find one with the roll down window grates.
johnieboy3 years ago
Lool, good one.
beehard444 years ago
one more: throw teabags at Englishmen-turned-zombies to stop them in their tracks drinking tea.
good one.
fop4 years ago
ill get in a zeplin and listen to beatles music while youre are all eaten!
You will get shot down immediately for not listening to Led Zeppelin while in a zeppelin.
But then he would go down LIKE a Led Zeppelin
Hopefully he lands on the bunch of zombies that are chasing me so i can praise the METAL GODS for giving me the most ironic savior ever.
How is this ironic?
You dont think that if someone tried to use a zeplin to escape being chased by zombies only to have it crash down onto the zombies killing both them and him is ironic?! First there is the fact that the thing he used to save himself killed him.. then it killed the things he was running from, and then of all things a crashing zeplin that killed everything saved me. I see a little irony in that.....
Then you don't understand the concept of irony.
Colloquial defenition... The quality or state of an event being both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way. Nope i think i got it! But awesome, first time i post on this website i manage to find troll. Well done.
congratulations on your first troll (^_^) there will be many to come lol
And how is it coincidental and contradictory? A zeppelin piloted by a human wishing to escape a zombie apocalypse crashing and killing a bunch of zombies, is not contradictory of the zeppelin's original purpose, nor is it humorous if, however, the zeppelin were piloted by a zombie going to war against humanity, it would be both funny and contradictory, thus filling the description of what could be ironic. Since when was having a grasp of the meanings of words grounds to accuse someone of trolling?
OK I realize that I’m going over the top by continuing, and that this back and forth is taking away from the actual instructable which is very good, so, I will try to explain myself one last time and live with the result... YES, if he crashed into the zombies and SURVIVED this would not be ironic, but a well executed plan of attack which could well of saved him. My point is that if the zeppelin is used to save his life and then crashes down and KILLS him, that is contradictory of its original purpose, and if you watched it in a movie it would be I think pretty humorous. As for the second part of him landing on the zombies chasing me and killing the zombies, that would be ironic because the pilots original intention was to fly above everything while we were all being eaten and instead crashed down and saved me from being eaten (again, contradictory of its origional purpose). If you still cannot see my point then perhaps we should go with agree to disagree. Trying to prove that we are both right is pointless.
I'll do the same thing, but with a bullet proof zeppelin!
pokster fop4 years ago
em what about supplies?
Cedric774 years ago
(removed by author or community request)
I'll keep this in mind when I hold up at my 7-Eleven with a shotgun and zombie survival guide.
I've thought about this - and it occurs to me that the best hiding spot would be in a pharmacy of some sort. Concrete walls, emergency food* and water, and all the medical supplies you can handle. * This depends on what you constitute "food" as. -Y
Pffff, If I were you, I'd raid the pharmacy then go in a walmart haha
except many people already thought of that so some unknown infected people will be there, turn into zombies, and then eat your brains out.
That's what the mini-gun is for.
Shooting innocents is not on my agenda.
lol I feel the same way as you do sort of. I told my girlfriend, roommates, and close friends that if there is any type of zombie outbreak or similar apocalypse I am dropping all dead weight. If they can not keep up with me or provide some form of usefulness or follow orders either I am popping them or leaving them. I would feel bad to leave them on their so either I kill them or let them attempt to survive without me. They need to maintain some form of physical fitness. (I mean my none of them can even bike 5 miles with me to school). Speaking of which I am always looking for people who can be part my survival team or looking for additional competent help in the state of Georgia. I am more then meets the eye. I love drinking tea more then the next guy so finding more use for the tea bags, just plain awesome. Even though I question some of them, I will test out your steps then provide my final verdict. Thanks for your information Frenzy.
Ever tried parkour? That's how I keep my physical fitness up. In my local town there's a bunch of guys that do it, and I'm going with them for the zombpocalypse.
Lol i could not help picture you turning into a Hunter from left 4 dead. One thing you guys need to take into consideration is how the virus spreads, because for all you know it would not even matter if the virus is airborne or was a faulty vaccine like you see in I am Legend. There is no certainty that you are immune. One final thing is cities in general is a bad spot to be, Right now i live near a hospital AND Portland, A city that is number 29 in the United States's largest cities. So I am pretty much doomed if there was an outbreak. D:
Yep, you're ruined. I probably am too, but if it's spread via blood / other such standard types of infection by zombies then I should be ok if I get out in time.
A Book I think everyone needs to read is called WWZ, it is writen by the author of the zombie survival guide. and the book is being adapted for a movie staring Brad Pitt. The book is writen all from the point of veiw of a journalist who is making a documentary about the struggles of WWZ. It has the point of view from the doctor who treated patient zero. And others. Good Book.
Sounds awesome, I'll see if I can get it!
Weaksauce :P
Zombies aren't innocents :p
There are no innocents. There are only friends, zombies, and zombie-to-bes.
How about that old lad- OH GOD WHAT'S WITH HER HEAD *shoots*
its on mine need to delay zombies go to zombierepelent.com
So far I'm alright, the bear traps have kept be whitey tightey till now.
haven't you seen Zombieland? wal mart's a bad move
nax Mr.Kiite4 years ago
But how would you know zombies from ... oh, oops, supposed to be nice here.
id go to my high school cuz its easily defendable (they have a lockdown system for when terror attacks happen in nyc) has a lot of food, guns in the basement (for rifling team) and if i get a large group of survivors it would be easy to set up colony
wow, if only my high school was like that in england :p the only weapons we could use are metre sticks and javelins...
High school rifle teams use pellet guns. Good luck defending yourself with that.
Hahaha He got you there sharkstun :D
I'm planning on the whole Mad Max-esque death mobile with chainsaws for headlights and roof mounted flamethrowers :D
idogis14 years ago
It's the Apocalypse not a recession, I'm pretty sure Footlocker'll still be there.
milamber4 years ago
wtf thats about as necessary as a hair dryer on mount everest
Or windscreen wipers on a submarine.
Hey! they swat the fish away.
I imagine they have de-icers/wipers on the periscope, it does afterall go above water and in areas of rough weather (n.pole?)
Because saltwater freezes so well...?
Adealyn Thenwcp4 years ago
Maybe for a lake submarine.
Yeah I'm sure a lake submarine would have terrific strategic importance :) You mean like a submersible that scans the lake bed?
They'll always have an element of surprise, then. Or maybe a river submarine. That's a bit more logical, right?
Ok, but better make sure it's deep + you could get blocked in quite easily by shipping traffic :D
actually, I think I once hear that the first couple feet of arctic water is fresh, check out the seaice formation section. http://www.eoearth.org/article/Arctic_Ocean
I was thinking that as I typed, but hey it was funny? :)
Or keep yourself warm... But wheres and outlet on Everest?
You can always bring a generator, yet it would be difficult lugging a generator and fuel for it.
Luggage. or Wagon would be awesome.
You could use the hairdryer to melt the snow!!! You, sir, are a genius!
how else are you going to melt the snow?
Halo_Storm4 years ago
Why would you have no shoes because of a zombie outbreak? What happened to your own pairs of shoes? Also, I doubt zombies would be worrying about having shoes themselves, so that's, that much less people needing shoes, and more shoes available to be looted for yourself. In a zombie outbreak, one can easily be the king of shoes.
Erm, the feet of the zombie could have had open sores. This could lead to zombification due to wearing their shoes Although it shouldn't be too hard to raid a shoe store =/
that is only if you have an open wound and it is the left 4 dead style zombie out break
Amateur! Zombiewannabie! Never walk in a Zombie's shoes! Creeping Zombie Footrot is a horrible way to go...look what happened in Atlanta!
natman34004 years ago
When ever i have to have blood drawn, i always wait til it stops bleeding, and then i put a green tea bag on it if it still hurts. Was really helpful last time i had blood drawn.
ths4 years ago
can't you use tea bag as an ammo against zombie, if zombie are bleeding and you want to stop them from bleeding on the floor you can shoot them tea bag in the face.
maboz4 years ago
WTF?
dojers4 years ago
Exactly!! Geez, everyone knows you don't wear Zombie clothes or shoes!! Too much gunk to get 'em cleaned properly! And no time to wash 'em right either :) Course if they have weapons you CAN steal those. They don't really know how to use them properly anyway
mrfoltz4 years ago
I think this instructable is HILARIOUS!....... AAAAAAAAAAAARHG!
humanbat4 years ago
Why would would you have a shotgun? They suck against zombies.
xarlock6674 years ago
There will be fewer people, not more, so there will be pleanty of supplies. What you should really invest in is a sword. None of that trueswords crap, a real real sword designed to cut heads off and do it over and over again. Alternately, you could get a couple of ultra reliable guns, and a crapload of ammo and a wagon to carry it all in. But swords weigh less and will never jam or have to be reloaded. Also Duck Tape. Cannot have enough of that.
greenjedi4 years ago
Also, tea can be used as a means of rehydrating yourself after slaughtering zombies in the hot sun all day. It can actually be consumed as a beverage! huzzah!
You can drink tea now?  Golly.
frenzy (author)  greenjedi4 years ago

Absurd, all i drink is powerade and redbull
aleji77a4 years ago
lol, nice!
jamwaffles4 years ago
Very good instructable! I, like you, have many problems killing zombies, so this stuff should work a treat! Thanks :)
Featured. This is excellent and hilarious, mainly because my house just ran out of tea...
Ok now it is, forgot there's a button and a ticker now...
I always check the box and forget to click the button. :(
I have an excuse, there was just a tick box and a category changer, now there's three and a button, timesa changin
huf1234 years ago
Will tea bags soothe a head wound if you are mistaken for a zombie?
guatsamosa4 years ago
I like how none of them are just makin a nice cup o' tea :) But then again this is a pretty legit instructable :D
nedlawkr4 years ago
Thank you for "the many uses of tea". Very good stuff.
abadfart4 years ago
you forgot sun burns
1spartan954 years ago
Here's a link for y'all. http://www.starwest-botanicals.com/category/bulk-tea-bags/
bruc33ef4 years ago
During an earthquake, when there were no utilities, I sponge-bathed myself with cold oolong tea every day. I stayed -- and felt -- fresh and clean, even my hair. Tea is good stuff.
luvit4 years ago
hi i once was sick & had herbal tea to feel better then reused the bad for another cup of tea then i saw a fly inside the teabag.
Epic.
chrisw924 years ago
nice, I guess I should go and buy some teabags then. love the addition of very literal pictures which makes it more funny.