Introduction: 5 Ways Tea Could Help You Survive a Zombie Outbreak

Shotgun..Check
Machete...Check
Armoured Personnel Carrier...Check

20 bags of tea...What?

When people think of "Zombie Outbreak" they never think to bring along some tea bags, yet tea can come in very useful when the undead break out of hell to ravage the land until we are all dead.

Here are 5 ways tea can help you survive the next zombie outbreak.

Step 1: Soothe Tired Eyes

After staying up all night fighting zombies you'll need to freshen up your eyes. Put a wet tea bag on each eye for 20 minutes to freshen them up!

Step 2: Stop Bleeding Gums

Did that zombie punch you in the teeth again? If your gums are bleeding, you can press a tea bag onto the bleeding area to stop the bleeding and keep killing zombies.

Step 3: Stop Foot Odor

After the zombies take over, you'll be lucky to have one pair of shoes. Everyday to prevent foot rot, you should soak your feet everyday in a tea bath to keep the healthy and fresh!

Step 4: Soothe Injection Points

You may need some inoculations after the apocalypse, if your shot area hurts too much hold a tea bag there for 20 minutes to soothe the area.

Step 5: Reduce Razor Burn

Supplies will be thin after the zombie apocalyspe. if you decide to shave, razor burn is inevitable. Help cool down razor burn with a wet tea bag on the affected areas.


Good luck when the zombies take over, and remember to grab a carton of tea while you run for you life.

Comments

author
MarisaM made it! (author)2013-07-16

My plan for the zombie apocalypse? Hopefully it happens after I build my house. I'd be golden. 100% self sustainable house including food since it's got an indoor as well as outdoor garden, thermal heating/cooling and rainwater collection & treatment, solar and wind power. Seeing as it's gonna be in the middle of nowhere, I don't think we'll be getting many visitors anyway, but in the event of the apocalypse i'd probably install a high-voltage electric fence lol

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Critter Mel made it! (author)2012-12-19

I now have a mental picture of zombies shambling after people on Rodeo Drive then suddenly stopping and thinking "OH! Those Loubotins are TO DIE FOR!"

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mbusby made it! (author)2011-12-13

Used and dried out tea bags make great fire starters - just want to keep an eye out for the cops though because it smells very much like weed when it is burnt - yes stoner type weed, not your ordinary garden variety weeds. (14 year olds take note Cops DONOT have a sense of humour no matter where you live).

About 30 years ago I used to freak out my nosey neighbours by burning a couple every saturday night on a wood fired BBQ.

Had them utterly convinced I was some sort of drug fiend. :D

I'm Australian and yes we do stuff like this all the time because we are born to take the pizz out of anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.

author
Plo Koon made it! (author)Plo Koon2012-01-14

that is funny!

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madmans firework emporium made it! (author)2011-12-27

what about flares? if you take a stapled tea bag, by removing the staple and standing it up, you then light it at the top and you get a nice flare

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me0w made it! (author)2010-08-16

thats a little scary

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BlackFang171 made it! (author)BlackFang1712011-12-11

Tea is an antibiotic so it's actually a good idea

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spenfisher12 made it! (author)spenfisher122010-08-18

how so

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AndyGadget made it! (author)2010-09-10

I'd rather sit comfortably in my (zombie proof) ivory tower, sipping lapsang-souchong from a china cup and observe the carnage proceding below.
Much more civilised.

author
bonecholampworks made it! (author)bonecholampworks2011-12-11

Room for more?
(yes, I do windows..)
;)

author
kkibler made it! (author)kkibler2011-05-17

(and a bit snobbish.) WHO SAID THAT?

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midsummermuse made it! (author)2011-12-09

... Are your gums bloody from flossing? haha :-)

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trigger101 made it! (author)2010-08-15

HA! I'm going to Bass Pro Shops!! Guns, food. And grills and propane so if I run out of food there's always the fish tank :D Who's with me?

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Icalasari made it! (author)Icalasari2010-08-15

You, sire, have given me my newest idea for a zombie holdout. Only issue is those pesky display windows...

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trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-08-16

Very true...but I'm sure we could cover them up somehow. Perhaps some paint? But there are also bows and arrows and other kinds of ammo. Plus the shooting range could be another good hideout.

author
Icalasari made it! (author)Icalasari2010-08-16

Sadly, there isn't a shooting range up here in Alberta =/ The Bass Pro Shop here is attached to the Cross Iron Mills Mall, so I'm sure that I could get my hands on some supplies to block the windows and the door that accesses the rest of the mall...

author
daemonfist made it! (author)daemonfist2010-08-16


Have you not seen "Dawn of the Dead"?  The mall is the last place you want to be...LOL!!!

Actually the BPS in Ab would be a cool place to hole up...as long as them stuffed moose don't get reanimated!!!  Those are big SOBs!!

author
HBU made it! (author)HBU2011-12-06

LMAOROTF talk about testing the stopping power of the gun in the case

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Icalasari made it! (author)Icalasari2010-12-07

No, a mall can be good, provided you do it right

For example, although there ARE plenty of display windows (bad), there is a second story with railings. Remove railings in key areas, destroy all stair cases, make a rope ladder, and tada! Protection from zombies PLUS easy to grab weapons!

author
trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-12-07

Very true, Shadowater. So, who wants to migrate with me to the nearest BPS? We have deer jerky!! *licks lips*

author
Icalasari made it! (author)Icalasari2010-12-07

As long as it isn't zombie deer jerky! :D

author
trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-12-08

Now why would we have that? Wouldn't want to spread the virus. ;)

author
Icalasari made it! (author)Icalasari2010-12-08

Good point

Too bad zombies are too clumsy and slow to be an actual threat... Even if the military didn't get them (the only hope the zombies have is that, if I recall, people are trained to aim for the torso and not the head), well, with all the zombie fans out there, they wouldn't stand a chance

Of course, if they are anything like the rage virus kind, then, well...

author
trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-12-09

Then we wouldn't really be that safe, huh?

author
spenfisher12 made it! (author)spenfisher122010-08-18

well it depends on how they became zombies if it is the traditanal one than maby if it is not guted but other wise no if it is the left 4 dead there than no way

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trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-08-17

My BPS isn't in a mall. LOL and ah! Attack of the moose!!

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trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-08-17

Well that stinks. In Florida all of our BPS are one big building.

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Schnuh330 made it! (author)Schnuh3302010-08-18

scout locations for stores with the roll down window grates. there's gotta be one that has them, if not then some unethical folks could break the windows regularly enough that the store would install them to stop the window breaking, then problem solved. (porcelain will break temper glass very easily, even very small pieces like broken spark plug insulators. don't know why, just does. ) perfect zombie holdout.*commenter does not advocate vandalism*

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trigger101 made it! (author)trigger1012010-08-18

Oooh. Good point. Well it should be easy enough to find one with the roll down window grates.

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johnieboy made it! (author)2011-07-01

Lool, good one.

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beehard44 made it! (author)2010-08-29

one more: throw teabags at Englishmen-turned-zombies to stop them in their tracks drinking tea.

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kkibler made it! (author)kkibler2011-05-17

good one.

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fop made it! (author)2010-08-15

ill get in a zeplin and listen to beatles music while youre are all eaten!

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ILikeScience made it! (author)ILikeScience2010-08-15

You will get shot down immediately for not listening to Led Zeppelin while in a zeppelin.

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BadVanGoh made it! (author)BadVanGoh2010-08-15

But then he would go down LIKE a Led Zeppelin

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leviathan937 made it! (author)leviathan9372010-08-15

Hopefully he lands on the bunch of zombies that are chasing me so i can praise the METAL GODS for giving me the most ironic savior ever.

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Pie Ninja made it! (author)Pie Ninja2010-08-16

How is this ironic?

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leviathan937 made it! (author)leviathan9372010-08-16

You dont think that if someone tried to use a zeplin to escape being chased by zombies only to have it crash down onto the zombies killing both them and him is ironic?! First there is the fact that the thing he used to save himself killed him.. then it killed the things he was running from, and then of all things a crashing zeplin that killed everything saved me. I see a little irony in that.....

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Pie Ninja made it! (author)Pie Ninja2010-08-16

Then you don't understand the concept of irony.

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leviathan937 made it! (author)leviathan9372010-08-17

Colloquial defenition... The quality or state of an event being both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way. Nope i think i got it! But awesome, first time i post on this website i manage to find troll. Well done.

author
sassy8girl made it! (author)sassy8girl2010-12-13

congratulations on your first troll (^_^) there will be many to come lol

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Pie Ninja made it! (author)Pie Ninja2010-08-18

And how is it coincidental and contradictory? A zeppelin piloted by a human wishing to escape a zombie apocalypse crashing and killing a bunch of zombies, is not contradictory of the zeppelin's original purpose, nor is it humorous if, however, the zeppelin were piloted by a zombie going to war against humanity, it would be both funny and contradictory, thus filling the description of what could be ironic. Since when was having a grasp of the meanings of words grounds to accuse someone of trolling?

author
leviathan937 made it! (author)leviathan9372010-08-18

OK I realize that I’m going over the top by continuing, and that this back and forth is taking away from the actual instructable which is very good, so, I will try to explain myself one last time and live with the result... YES, if he crashed into the zombies and SURVIVED this would not be ironic, but a well executed plan of attack which could well of saved him. My point is that if the zeppelin is used to save his life and then crashes down and KILLS him, that is contradictory of its original purpose, and if you watched it in a movie it would be I think pretty humorous. As for the second part of him landing on the zombies chasing me and killing the zombies, that would be ironic because the pilots original intention was to fly above everything while we were all being eaten and instead crashed down and saved me from being eaten (again, contradictory of its origional purpose). If you still cannot see my point then perhaps we should go with agree to disagree. Trying to prove that we are both right is pointless.

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bowmaster made it! (author)bowmaster2010-08-15

I'll do the same thing, but with a bullet proof zeppelin!

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pokster made it! (author)pokster2010-08-16

em what about supplies?

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Scatmanbrandt made it! (author)2010-08-11

I'll keep this in mind when I hold up at my 7-Eleven with a shotgun and zombie survival guide.

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dungeon runner made it! (author)dungeon runner2010-08-11

I've thought about this - and it occurs to me that the best hiding spot would be in a pharmacy of some sort. Concrete walls, emergency food* and water, and all the medical supplies you can handle. * This depends on what you constitute "food" as. -Y

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Mr.Kiite made it! (author)Mr.Kiite2010-08-11

Pffff, If I were you, I'd raid the pharmacy then go in a walmart haha

author

except many people already thought of that so some unknown infected people will be there, turn into zombies, and then eat your brains out.

author
pokerstud001 made it! (author)pokerstud0012010-08-12

That's what the mini-gun is for.

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