5 ways tea could help you survive a zombie outbreak

Shotgun..Check
Machete...Check
Armoured Personnel Carrier...Check

20 bags of tea...What?

When people think of "Zombie Outbreak" they never think to bring along some tea bags, yet tea can come in very useful when the undead break out of hell to ravage the land until we are all dead.

Here are 5 ways tea can help you survive the next zombie outbreak.

Step 1: Soothe Tired Eyes

After staying up all night fighting zombies you'll need to freshen up your eyes. Put a wet tea bag on each eye for 20 minutes to freshen them up!

Comments

[Critter Mel]

I now have a mental picture of zombies shambling after people on Rodeo Drive then suddenly stopping and thinking "OH! Those Loubotins are TO DIE FOR!"

[mbusby]

Used and dried out tea bags make great fire starters - just want to keep an eye out for the cops though because it smells very much like weed when it is burnt - yes stoner type weed, not your ordinary garden variety weeds. (14 year olds take note Cops DONOT have a sense of humour no matter where you live).

About 30 years ago I used to freak out my nosey neighbours by burning a couple every saturday night on a wood fired BBQ.

Had them utterly convinced I was some sort of drug fiend. :D

I'm Australian and yes we do stuff like this all the time because we are born to take the pizz out of anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.

[Plo Koon]

that is funny!

[madmans firework emporium]

what about flares? if you take a stapled tea bag, by removing the staple and standing it up, you then light it at the top and you get a nice flare

[me0w]

thats a little scary

[BlackFang171]

Tea is an antibiotic so it's actually a good idea

[spenfisher12]

how so

[AndyGadget]

I'd rather sit comfortably in my (zombie proof) ivory tower, sipping lapsang-souchong from a china cup and observe the carnage proceding below.
Much more civilised.

[bonecholampworks]

Room for more?
(yes, I do windows..)
;)

[kkibler]

(and a bit snobbish.) WHO SAID THAT?

[midsummermuse]

... Are your gums bloody from flossing? haha :-)

[GrKe]

I now have 5 more reasons to love tea. :D Thanks so much for sharing.

[johnieboy]

Lool, good one.

[beehard44]

one more: throw teabags at Englishmen-turned-zombies to stop them in their tracks drinking tea.

[kkibler]

good one.

[Cedric77]

(removed by author or community request)

[idogis1]

It's the Apocalypse not a recession, I'm pretty sure Footlocker'll still be there.

[Halo_Storm]

Why would you have no shoes because of a zombie outbreak? What happened to your own pairs of shoes? Also, I doubt zombies would be worrying about having shoes themselves, so that's, that much less people needing shoes, and more shoes available to be looted for yourself. In a zombie outbreak, one can easily be the king of shoes.

[Icalasari]

Erm, the feet of the zombie could have had open sores. This could lead to zombification due to wearing their shoes Although it shouldn't be too hard to raid a shoe store =/

[spenfisher12]

that is only if you have an open wound and it is the left 4 dead style zombie out break

[quiet1]

Amateur! Zombiewannabie! Never walk in a Zombie's shoes! Creeping Zombie Footrot is a horrible way to go...look what happened in Atlanta!

[trigger101]

HA! I'm going to Bass Pro Shops!! Guns, food. And grills and propane so if I run out of food there's always the fish tank :D Who's with me?

[Icalasari]

You, sire, have given me my newest idea for a zombie holdout. Only issue is those pesky display windows...

[Schnuh330]

scout locations for stores with the roll down window grates. there's gotta be one that has them, if not then some unethical folks could break the windows regularly enough that the store would install them to stop the window breaking, then problem solved. (porcelain will break temper glass very easily, even very small pieces like broken spark plug insulators. don't know why, just does. ) perfect zombie holdout.*commenter does not advocate vandalism*

[trigger101]

Oooh. Good point. Well it should be easy enough to find one with the roll down window grates.

[trigger101]

Very true...but I'm sure we could cover them up somehow. Perhaps some paint? But there are also bows and arrows and other kinds of ammo. Plus the shooting range could be another good hideout.

[Icalasari]

Sadly, there isn't a shooting range up here in Alberta =/ The Bass Pro Shop here is attached to the Cross Iron Mills Mall, so I'm sure that I could get my hands on some supplies to block the windows and the door that accesses the rest of the mall...

[trigger101]

Well that stinks. In Florida all of our BPS are one big building.

[daemonfist]

Have you not seen "Dawn of the Dead"?  The mall is the last place you want to be...LOL!!!

Actually the BPS in Ab would be a cool place to hole up...as long as them stuffed moose don't get reanimated!!!  Those are big SOBs!!

[HBU]

LMAOROTF talk about testing the stopping power of the gun in the case

[Icalasari]

No, a mall can be good, provided you do it right

For example, although there ARE plenty of display windows (bad), there is a second story with railings. Remove railings in key areas, destroy all stair cases, make a rope ladder, and tada! Protection from zombies PLUS easy to grab weapons!

[trigger101]

Very true, Shadowater. So, who wants to migrate with me to the nearest BPS? We have deer jerky!! *licks lips*

[Icalasari]

As long as it isn't zombie deer jerky! :D

[trigger101]

Now why would we have that? Wouldn't want to spread the virus. ;)

[Icalasari]

Good point

Too bad zombies are too clumsy and slow to be an actual threat... Even if the military didn't get them (the only hope the zombies have is that, if I recall, people are trained to aim for the torso and not the head), well, with all the zombie fans out there, they wouldn't stand a chance

Of course, if they are anything like the rage virus kind, then, well...

[trigger101]

Then we wouldn't really be that safe, huh?

[spenfisher12]

well it depends on how they became zombies if it is the traditanal one than maby if it is not guted but other wise no if it is the left 4 dead there than no way

[trigger101]

My BPS isn't in a mall. LOL and ah! Attack of the moose!!

[Kulawend]

Name 5 ways that a teabag can help you get laid and I'll be impressed.

[natman3400]

When ever i have to have blood drawn, i always wait til it stops bleeding, and then i put a green tea bag on it if it still hurts. Was really helpful last time i had blood drawn.