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5 ways tea could help you survive a zombie outbreak

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Picture of 5 ways tea could help you survive a zombie outbreak
Shotgun..Check
Machete...Check
Armoured Personnel Carrier...Check

20 bags of tea...What?

When people think of "Zombie Outbreak" they never think to bring along some tea bags, yet tea can come in very useful when the undead break out of hell to ravage the land until we are all dead.

Here are 5 ways tea can help you survive the next zombie outbreak.
 
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Step 1: Soothe Tired Eyes

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After staying up all night fighting zombies you'll need to freshen up your eyes. Put a wet tea bag on each eye for 20 minutes to freshen them up!

Step 2: Stop Bleeding Gums

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Did that zombie punch you in the teeth again? If your gums are bleeding, you can press a tea bag onto the bleeding area to stop the bleeding and keep killing zombies.

Step 3: Stop Foot Odor

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After the zombies take over, you'll be lucky to have one pair of shoes. Everyday to prevent foot rot, you should soak your feet everyday in a tea bath to keep the healthy and fresh!

Step 4: Soothe Injection Points

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You may need some inoculations after the apocalypse, if your shot area hurts too much hold a tea bag there for 20 minutes to soothe the area.

Step 5: Reduce Razor Burn

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Supplies will be thin after the zombie apocalyspe. if you decide to shave, razor burn is inevitable. Help cool down razor burn with a wet tea bag on the affected areas.


Good luck when the zombies take over, and remember to grab a carton of tea while you run for you life.
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MarisaM1 year ago
My plan for the zombie apocalypse? Hopefully it happens after I build my house. I'd be golden. 100% self sustainable house including food since it's got an indoor as well as outdoor garden, thermal heating/cooling and rainwater collection & treatment, solar and wind power. Seeing as it's gonna be in the middle of nowhere, I don't think we'll be getting many visitors anyway, but in the event of the apocalypse i'd probably install a high-voltage electric fence lol
I now have a mental picture of zombies shambling after people on Rodeo Drive then suddenly stopping and thinking "OH! Those Loubotins are TO DIE FOR!"
mbusby2 years ago
Used and dried out tea bags make great fire starters - just want to keep an eye out for the cops though because it smells very much like weed when it is burnt - yes stoner type weed, not your ordinary garden variety weeds. (14 year olds take note Cops DONOT have a sense of humour no matter where you live).

About 30 years ago I used to freak out my nosey neighbours by burning a couple every saturday night on a wood fired BBQ.

Had them utterly convinced I was some sort of drug fiend. :D

I'm Australian and yes we do stuff like this all the time because we are born to take the pizz out of anyone and everyone at the drop of a hat.
Plo Koon mbusby2 years ago
that is funny!
what about flares? if you take a stapled tea bag, by removing the staple and standing it up, you then light it at the top and you get a nice flare
me0w3 years ago
thats a little scary
Tea is an antibiotic so it's actually a good idea
how so
AndyGadget3 years ago
I'd rather sit comfortably in my (zombie proof) ivory tower, sipping lapsang-souchong from a china cup and observe the carnage proceding below.
Much more civilised.
Room for more?
(yes, I do windows..)
;)
(and a bit snobbish.) WHO SAID THAT?
... Are your gums bloody from flossing? haha :-)
trigger1013 years ago
HA! I'm going to Bass Pro Shops!! Guns, food. And grills and propane so if I run out of food there's always the fish tank :D Who's with me?
You, sire, have given me my newest idea for a zombie holdout. Only issue is those pesky display windows...
Very true...but I'm sure we could cover them up somehow. Perhaps some paint? But there are also bows and arrows and other kinds of ammo. Plus the shooting range could be another good hideout.
Sadly, there isn't a shooting range up here in Alberta =/ The Bass Pro Shop here is attached to the Cross Iron Mills Mall, so I'm sure that I could get my hands on some supplies to block the windows and the door that accesses the rest of the mall...

Have you not seen "Dawn of the Dead"?  The mall is the last place you want to be...LOL!!!

Actually the BPS in Ab would be a cool place to hole up...as long as them stuffed moose don't get reanimated!!!  Those are big SOBs!!
HBU daemonfist2 years ago
LMAOROTF talk about testing the stopping power of the gun in the case
No, a mall can be good, provided you do it right

For example, although there ARE plenty of display windows (bad), there is a second story with railings. Remove railings in key areas, destroy all stair cases, make a rope ladder, and tada! Protection from zombies PLUS easy to grab weapons!
Very true, Shadowater. So, who wants to migrate with me to the nearest BPS? We have deer jerky!! *licks lips*
As long as it isn't zombie deer jerky! :D
Now why would we have that? Wouldn't want to spread the virus. ;)
Good point

Too bad zombies are too clumsy and slow to be an actual threat... Even if the military didn't get them (the only hope the zombies have is that, if I recall, people are trained to aim for the torso and not the head), well, with all the zombie fans out there, they wouldn't stand a chance

Of course, if they are anything like the rage virus kind, then, well...
Then we wouldn't really be that safe, huh?
well it depends on how they became zombies if it is the traditanal one than maby if it is not guted but other wise no if it is the left 4 dead there than no way
My BPS isn't in a mall. LOL and ah! Attack of the moose!!
Well that stinks. In Florida all of our BPS are one big building.
scout locations for stores with the roll down window grates. there's gotta be one that has them, if not then some unethical folks could break the windows regularly enough that the store would install them to stop the window breaking, then problem solved. (porcelain will break temper glass very easily, even very small pieces like broken spark plug insulators. don't know why, just does. ) perfect zombie holdout.*commenter does not advocate vandalism*
Oooh. Good point. Well it should be easy enough to find one with the roll down window grates.
johnieboy3 years ago
Lool, good one.
beehard443 years ago
one more: throw teabags at Englishmen-turned-zombies to stop them in their tracks drinking tea.
good one.
fop3 years ago
ill get in a zeplin and listen to beatles music while youre are all eaten!
You will get shot down immediately for not listening to Led Zeppelin while in a zeppelin.
But then he would go down LIKE a Led Zeppelin
Hopefully he lands on the bunch of zombies that are chasing me so i can praise the METAL GODS for giving me the most ironic savior ever.
How is this ironic?
You dont think that if someone tried to use a zeplin to escape being chased by zombies only to have it crash down onto the zombies killing both them and him is ironic?! First there is the fact that the thing he used to save himself killed him.. then it killed the things he was running from, and then of all things a crashing zeplin that killed everything saved me. I see a little irony in that.....
Then you don't understand the concept of irony.
Colloquial defenition... The quality or state of an event being both coincidental and contradictory in a humorous or poignant and extremely improbable way. Nope i think i got it! But awesome, first time i post on this website i manage to find troll. Well done.
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