It's 6:30 AM and you feel a tightness in your chest. Antacids don't help. Your jaw is tightly set and your arm feels numb. Heart attack? Or is it an unreasonable response to a new zit? Either way, aspirin can help.

From heart attacks to zits, in the garden and the laundry room, aspirin has a ton of uses beyond relieving pain. Some of these I've tried, others I should try but haven't, and a few I hope to never try. You, the reader, are left to judge which is which. 

Step 1: Heart Attack Mitigation

If you're feeling a bit of a heart attack coming on, pop some aspirin and dial 911. (Or your local emergency number.)

The aspirin has an anti-clotting effect that inhibits platelets from doing their little plateletty jobs. You know, hanging out together in large groups, getting rowdy, and creating thromboses. This is perfect for those occasions when you're on the verge of death due to an unplanned cardiac episode.

According to the American Journal of Cardiology, chewing the aspirin has a more immediate effect than washing the pills down with a cool glass of water. So that's good to know. Especially if you're a man over 50 with less plaque on your teeth than in your arteries.

Step 2: Remove Sweat Stains

Sure, the collar of that undershirt looks fine, but the armpits are caked and yellow like you're developing uranium for a nascent nuclear weapons program. Gross. Apparently the aluminum salts in most antiperspirants mixes with sweat to create a mostly-waterproof stain. The salicylic acid in aspirin makes a nice little anti-yellowcake mixture that can eradicate those sweat stains.

Crush up enough pills and mix with water to create enough paste to cover the sweat stain of your choice. Let it sit for several minutes then rinse. Launder as usual. This treatment is good for any protein-based stain, so pull it out for those times when you get some of that nosebleed on your shirt or dribble egg yolk onto your pants due to over-over-easiness.

Note: pound for pound, this is an expensive method of removing sweat stains (compared to using lemon juice, enzymatic meat tenderizer, or white vinegar), but it's a good thing to bear in mind if you're surprised by a serious stain in a random hotel room that stocks aspirin, but not meat tenderizer, in the lobby gift shop.

Step 3: Restore Hair Color

Big swimmer? Blonde? If so, you know that chlorine can do a number on your hair. But a little aspirin can take care of that.

Dissolve 6-8 aspirin pills in water, then rub the solution into your hair. Let it sit for 10 minutes and rinse it out. The greenish effect should start to disappear after a couple of aspirin washes.

When I was in fifth grade, there was a girl in my class with hair so blonde and fine it looked like fiberoptic wire. She was a swimming fiend, so her hair was always just a touch too green in the summertime. In middle school, she acheived the Edenic self-consciousness of Eve and began to use aspirin to fix the greenness. She is now incredibly successful and one of 17* female engineers in the whole world. Aspirin helped her become a foxy materials engineer, imagine what it could do for you.

*I know that there are more. But there are still too many girls being discouraged from careers in science and math. The real number is probably in the low to mid 50s.

Step 4: Zap Zits and Punish Pimples

Salicylic acid. It's one of the topical applications used for acne treatment, and it just so happens to be a natural part of aspirin.

Crush up the pill and add some water to make a paste. Apply the aspirin paste to your pimple and wait for several minutes. Rinse off without rubbing too much, and the pimple should diminish in redness and size. Spot treatment for those "haven't showered since Friday" weekend camping trips where you want to look your best.

Possibly true fact: the taste of salicylic acid can discourage bears from gnawing on your face.

Step 5: Treat Bug Bites and Stings

Just like the acne treatment, a little dab of aspirin paste will do you when it comes to mosquitoes, flies, and the other stinging and biting bugs out there.

A great little camping piece of know-how: willow trees and their ilk contain the natural equivalent of Bayer. Some bark will have a similar effect to the paste described earlier. When I was a Boy Scout in Colorado, we used to strip small sections of bark off of aspen trees and treat the bug bites we brought upon ourselves by being fragrantly scrumptious.

Step 6: Organic Gardener's Dream

A crushed aspirin in water (one pill to one gallon) helps plants to fight infection and stay alive during traumatic plant experiences like transplanting, cutting, cloning, or zombie attacks. If your plants are dying in front of your eyes, it can be tempting to resort to extreme measures to rescue your little green friends with a water-soluble fertilizer. When stressed, however, plants can't really absorb all those delicious nitrates and phosphates. Dumping fertilizer on a dying plant is like giving a heart attack victim a multivitamin: not quite the ideal time for bioavailablility. Aspirin is the solution (pun!) for your mild flora emergency.

According to the exhaustive research I just performed on Wikipedia, salicylic acid can induce specific changes in root, stem, and leaf structure that create more robust plants. It can also help fruits and vegetables grow bigger and stronger. It will help your plants resist disease, insects, and unusually weak hailstorms.

Additionally, an aspirin solution will also help your cut flowers last longer in the vase so you can go nearly a full week before raking up the dead petals. Unless you're playing the "he loves me, he loves me not" game, in which case you should just count the petals in advance to determine your romantic status and let the aspirin keep the bouquet pretty.

Step 7: Treat Dandruff

Itchy flakiness got your shoulders looking like snowdrifts? If you wear a black American Apparel hoodie that looks a bit like a heather gray American Apparel hoodie, perhaps you should consider using aspirin in your daily head-washing regimen.

Crush up two aspirins into the normal amount of shampoo you use, then leave it in for several minutes. Don't do it with a dandruff-specific shampoo, but this is a great method of maintaining great-smelling hair without distributing enough fine white powder to cause an asbestos scare or DEA raid. If you're concerned about wasting water while you wait, shut off the water and just hang out for a minute while the aspirin does its job.

Step 8: Squeeze the Last Juice From a Car Battery

Electrolytes. They're not just in sports drinks and the athletes who drink them. They're also an important part of a car's battery. But sometimes your car's battery needs an extra shot of juice to crank out just a little more energy to get your car moving. Aspirin apparently makes a lovely electrolytic stimulant that'll get you out of a really serious pickle. Because if you're popping open your car battery, things are probably pretty serious and AAA isn't coming any time soon.

Pry off the cover of the battery with a screwdriver or pry bar and drop two crushed aspirin into each cell of the battery. Theoretically, this should cause a chemical reaction that changes some of the sulfuric acid into acetic acid and provide just enough oomph to get the engine to start turning over.

For bonus MacGyver points, try using cola to take any corrosion off of the terminals. If it's really cold outside, heat up the battery with whatever you've got on hand. Pouring hot water over the engine and battery itself (with everything disconnected) might help. YMMV. Literally.

Step 9: Treat a Hangover

Acetaminophen + alcohol = vicious, liver-destroying poison. Don't take Tylenol when you've been drinking.

After a long night out on the town, if you are in any condition to do so, take two aspirin before bed. These will help decrease the severity of the hangover in the morning by inhibiting prostaglandins. (You know you don't want those prostaglandins running around inside of your body like evil elves while you have the spins.) Then take two more in the morning with some breakfast. It'll decrease the severity of the morning headache and decrease the elf- or prostaglandin-related swelling.

If it's one of those mornings where the hair of the dog sounds as appetizing as actual canine fur, aspirin's your ticket to a productive day.
<p>Note: The Netherlands Study on aspirin, available on-line, shows that people who take aspin bleed in their brains. It has been known that enteric coating helps keep people feom stomach bleeds, and moves aspirin to the intestines. The enteric coating won't stop bleeds to the brain. Surgeons advise patients to stop taking aspirin or other blood thinners prior to surgery. Who knows when a person will need emergency surgery? There is an epidemic of dementia in the USA. Multiple brain bleeds, even small ones, will stack up over time, causing serious future risks. The cure to hangovers is not to get one. The other iuses for aspirin here seem good, and I will likely try a couple.</p>
<p>I'm with you on avoiding the hangover in the first place. I don't want to add toxins to my body as in inTOXICation when I can help it. My former daughter-in-law always drank a glass of water between alcoholic drinks, because alcohol is very dehydrating, so it helped her not have a hangover in the first place. I have also found that a large dose of vitamin C - at least a gram or more (1,000 mgs) helps detox the alcohol during the night as you sleep. But - one beer's the limit for me, so I don't need to do that.</p>
When my little sister was younger, like around 2l ir so, we were discussing hangovers and what causes them. I'm one of those lucky people that's only gotten a hangover maybe once or twice in my life, but my sis would get them bad. <br><br>So, we were talking about how dehydration is a major factor in them, and she decided to do an experiment. You know how some people will mix alcohol with energy drinks or fruity drinks. Well, she decided to mix hers in Gatorade. <br><br>It may seem a little weird, but the next morning, lo and behold, she didn't have a hangover.
<p>Gatorade is great because of its hydrating effects and the electrolytes it replenishes. It would definitely help.</p>
<p>When I used to drink and I ended up at home drunk as a monkey I would drink as much water as I could before going to sleep and I would wake up feeling great.In comparison to what I would have otherwise. Its the only hangover cure I know that actually works.</p>
<p>You can poison yourself drinking too much water. Being drunk inhibits your ability to judge that evenings limit of adult drinks-- thus you become drunk as a monkey (spiralling downwards) and must rely on this reduced capacity for sagacious determination of re-hydration requirement, limit, excess, final water poisoning, subsequent demise and permanent extradition from this &quot;vale of tears&quot;. Save yourself all manner of time, pain, money and (surely) a few milligrams of vital bodily elements flushed out in the gallons of fluid and semi-fluids your body will process and later excrete in a florid and possibly colourful variety of known and perhaps unknown methods of human elimination routes over which you will have varying to absolutely no ability to control, stem plug or stop while trying to rid your blood of the pernicious poison that is grain alcohol, ethyl hydrate, grog, booze or whatever you wish to call it......and just don't drink!! Oh darn! Now *I* need a drink.</p>
<p>I don't drink.</p>
Thanks for the great advice!
Your comment is a wilful distortion of the results of the mentioned Netherlands study.<br>Firstly, the researchers actually stated that their findings were inconclusive as to whether aspirin therapy can cause brain bleeds. They stated that bleeds could have occured long before the patients started such therapy, as the visible effects of a bleed are very longlasting. Ergo it was completely impossible for them to determine whether bleeds occurred before or after commencement of anticoagulant therapy.<br>Secondly, at NO point do the researchers of this study link brain bleeds to dementia. You have made that association yourself. <br>Brain bleeds can and do cause local damage, which can have implications across the whole body depending on the area involved, ie: a mini stroke. This is NOT dementia, nor do the researchers even suggest it might be.
First, aspirin has been well known for decades to cause bleeding. This is why they put an enteric coating on it and why we have to stop taking a regular aspirin dose a while before surgery. Second, it is being used to prevent clots through antithrombolytic action. It is a blood thinner. Third, for those of us with conditions of or like CADASIL or CARASIL (genetic dominant or recessive gene or missense mutation) which is a leaky blood vessel disease where the small blood vessels become fragile due to genetic aberration and thicken/break due to deposits of GOM (granular osmiophilic material) the vessels are like leaky hoses where blood flows into surrounding tissue causing microbleed stroke. Being genetic, many of my own family members who took aspirin went into full hemorraghic strokes. Fourth, neurologists who have studied the study tell me it is not right because of the condition as now many are unaware they carry the gene (and through aspirn are adding to their own suffering and demise) . Ironic that people can treat for microbleed headache and then worsen their headache through hemmorhag. Fifth, two neurologists told me that nobody gets to around 40 years of age without gaining brain lesions, suspicious in itself. Sixth, the study and the media coverage of the issue are all over the internet and laymen and doctos alike now know that aspirin is NOT without side effects. THEREFORE, there was no distortion, and your analysis is limitied to what you read while I have actual information about the detrimental effects of aspirin. As far as whether or not it is dementia, if you develop high blood pressure and take regular aspirin see what it does for you. Conclusion: for CADASILS and very likely other conditions, aspirin does cause harm. Had the researchers even known about CADASIL, CARASIL and other conditions and had concluded that aspirin causes bleeds everywhere in the body, the enteric coating being of limited protection to the stomach alone, they would have drawn the same conclusion as my two neurologists. &quot;Willful distortion&quot;? No, just better informed. Take aspirin. I won't. Read all the materials published after the initial study release. The conclusions are out there, people need to know and discuss this with their doctors, and I am far from the only human having connected the dots. My comment was a kindness. Feel free to disregard.
<p>Wrong again J Alexander. Once more you have completely misunderstood the reasons for everything. You seem to get a small bit of information and then make dangerous assumptions from it. Just because you have a medical issue that makes it difficult for you to use Aspirin, doesn't mean the rest of the world needs to panic. People have taken ASA their entire lives without any problem. The doomsayers really need a new hobby. Try creating something awesome and make an Instructable from it. But leave out the soapbox.</p>
Hi J. I saw your link before it disappeared, and followed it. Thank you for that. The study was enlightening. I responded to you after you posted the link, but both your and my comments have disappeared.
maria42 took exception to my response. Not known if you will receive this response to her comment. Would be strange if Instructibles pulled it without due process.
<p>Several of my comments disappeared. Perhaps the moderator did not like the information. Disappointing, but people can be strange.</p>
<p>I work in a Cardiac Cath lab, and I see a lot of heart attacks. Sometimes, ASA en-route in the ambulance, or at home, even prior to EMT arrival, can dissolute the platelet plug causing the MI, and can mitigate the effects on the myocardium. True, there are risks associated with EVERY medication, but, it the throes of an MI (heart attack), time is muscle (heart muscle). We work diligently to minimize the effects of MI on long term survivability, and ASA is one of our front-line meds. My 2 cents' worth.</p>
If I were having a heart attack, I would take the aspirin. For a hangover? No. It appears that alcohol poisoning and aspirin both kill brain cells. For those with conditions like CADASIL, who are already suffering brain bleeds, aspirin just worsens it. Overuse of aspirin is not a good idea.
I used asprin and red wine in moderation with excercise for years and now im forty and i look 28 still
<p>im 50 but feel like im 60... but I still think like im 18 . lol Maybe I just need to drink more. lol </p>
<p>Maybe you need CoQ10.</p>
<p>lol... is that Moon Shine? cause if it is, I'll try it! lol (seriously, what is it?) </p>
<p>It's a natural pill. - Easily found in the OTC Vitamin section of your drug store or health food store</p>
I'm sure that it has nothing to do with the aspirin or even the wine. My guess us that you probably just have good genes. By the way, who says you look 28?
<p>What does your brain look like? MRI? In any event, 40 is still young. MRI at 50, but if there is accumulated damage, you will not be able to fix it. The statistics for dementia in the USA shows an epidemic. Of course, there are far more factors than asprin there. Moderation is good. There is a connection between brain bleeds and dementia, and now that the connection shows asprin to be a culprit... why risk more damage?</p>
<p>I've got a very narrow LAD Artery and pretty much nothing by way of collaterals, so my cardiologist has me on 325 MG of aspirin every day. I guess my wife is going to be changing my diapers soon. I don't come to this site to get depressed.</p>
<p>Have you looked into the sequential external extremity pumping? This showed great promise a few years ago, for people with few collaterals. I havent read up on it in a while. </p>
<p>I would keep doing whatever your MDs are prescribing. Yours is a dangerous situation, for you to make any off-the-cuff changes. Best of luck to you!!</p>
<p>1) There is a J Alexander--a top cardiac physician. Is that you? </p><p>2) If one has had a heart attack or cardio-vascular disease that merits asprin supplementation, you might ask your doctor about using a low-dose form daily. If you've not had an attack, the risk of other issues, most especially brain bleeding, outweigh the benefits.</p>
<p>Hi J Alexander. Thank you for the heads up. I am very interested in this, but couldn't find the Netherlands study you refer to. Could you provide a citation or a link, please? Thanks.</p>
<p>There are other ways to &quot;thin&quot; the blood out, i.e. reduce platelet aggregation and clotting in the brain, such as Fish Oil (Omega 3 fatty acids) instead of Asperin. The less you take of Asperin except in emergencies I think the better. I agree with the Netherland study. </p>
<p>but dose the fish oil work as quickly as the Asprin does? so if you feel a Heart Attack coming on you can take it and it would help? </p>
No zacker..its the blood thinning nature of asprin that helps in heart attacks. It can thin the blood enough to blow out clots. I've actually seen people that have had a stroke, and took aspirin immediately after oh, and by the time they reach the hospital there were no signs of the clots that blocked their arteries causing the stroke. Thus limiting the damage of the stroke and possibly saving the victim's life.<br><br>Also, I sugest you read the current medical research about fish oils and heart disease. Studies show that use of fish oils supplements, do not help against heart attack or stroke. There have been dozens of long term studies done and there have only been 2 released that showed any benefit above the placebo effect. The sad part is this one of the studies that showed it beneficial, was conducted by a company that it self, sold fish oil supplements. <br><br>I have read medical research that shows fish oil beneficial to joints. Just not a benefit for the heart. The sad part is you can't believe studies that are shown on most websites that claim to be medical studies. Most of those are either completely made up or conducted by retail companies by non medical personnel with skewed results. Most hospitals will allow you to access their medical libraries and have staff on hand that could help you look up research in areas that you'd like to. There are also several medical research publication sites out there where you can search actual medical publications and research things like this for yourself.
<p>awesome... thanks for the info. I always thought you took Asprin for a Heart Attack but NOT for a stroke... </p>
<p>so remember folks if you feel a heart attack coming on why not take the time to gamble and chew some fish oil pills, stand on your head in the light of a full moon whatta ya got t loose? the truth is what works for someone might not work for you, and for every study thats negative there is another thats positive (yes independent) so do what works for you and don't buy into all the haters online </p>
<p>Haters? I have not seen any here..</p>
I posted a link, but don't see it now. Perhaps it was removed? id it was, keyword search &quot;Netherlands Study on Asprin&quot; or go to the National Institute of Health (NIH), the American Stroke Association, or the National Neurological Institute and keyword there. This was big news that doctors are taking seriously. For those of us already living with micro-bleed stroke disorders, we are forced to live with the fact that we have no real treatment and have to live with whatever our disease does. Aspirin can cause a micro-bleed to be hemmorhagic, causing even more destruction and earlier death. I have relatives who were harmed this way. My refusal to take aspirin may be why the course of my disease is slower than theirs. I do research; my family accepts anything a doctor says without question.<br>
<p>Thank you. Enlightening.</p>
<p>&bdquo;The cure to hangovers is not to get one.&rdquo;</p><p>Sorry, but you got that one backwards! It's &bdquo;The cure to hangovers is to stay drunk.&rdquo;</p>
Alrighty then! LOL!<br>
<p>that study has been proven to be bogus poppy-cock. they tell you not to take aspirin before surgery, for the same reason it is good fora heart attack. In surgery, they WANT your blood to clot. </p>
<p>No, that study has not been proven to be poppycock. Review the NIH and th NNI sites for information. </p>
<p>I was told by my Neurologist that the anti-coagulant effect of aspirin lasts 48-72 hours...</p>
<p>Women and girls aren't discouraged from anything. That's a myth that been dragged from the past. Today, everyone has the same opportunities. Most just aren't interested in STEM studies. Studies already show that men and women think and learn differently. It's not that a girl can't become an engineer, it's that most aren't interested. The ones that are, have no problems learning to be one. </p><p>Just like girls are better at reading and social studies. Most boys aren't interested in those subjects, but it doesn't mean the ones that are, can't do well. </p><p>Each person will find their own balance of interests and skills. Not everyone has to be the same and there's no shame in not liking something.</p>
<p>Great information. I am sharing to my blog here at </p><p><a href="http://survivalgearup.blogspot.com/" rel="nofollow">http://survivalgearup.blogspot.com/</a></p>
hholmes1 said his sister uses Gatorade mixed with her alcohol to avoid hangovers. That probably indicates that the electrolytes in Gatorade are keeping her from depletion. HOWEVER, Gatorade itself is full of nasty chemicals. I don't know if it still has aspartame or not, but if so, that alone would keep me from touching the stuff, since it causes me to have seizures. <br><br>She would be better off if she mixed her drinks with coconut water, which is full of electrolytes without the chemicals.<br>
<p>Coconut water tastes pretty good, too. - Mild &amp; subtle, but good.</p>
<p>lol in highschool we had a new guy with us n sent him into 7-11 for mix. we headed out to the bush party only to discover he had bought gator-aid to go with our Rye Whisky lol it was gross but no hangover lol the electrolytes you speak of are mainly backing soda, salt and sugar you can find countless recipes online to make your own the sweetners well thats a different story. Ive made it for years for myself and my child as the store bought stuff is $10 a liter because parents will pay it ;) </p>
<p>$1.29 for 100 aspirin..Omg.</p><p> </p>
<p>Yeah, sweet. - Tylenol, Advil and all those newer products never worked for me. - I WAS able to keep my Migraines at bay for a while by taking Aspirin w/Coffee. -It helped a bit until I could get to the Doc for a Migraine prescription.</p>

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Bio: I'm an English teacher and former Instructables staff member.
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