Toothpaste. It keeps your teeth from rotting and falling out of your face. It makes you eligible for kisses you otherwise wouldn't qualify for. And it ensures that you drink your morning orange juice BEFORE brushing.
But it's got other uses. It can save you money, make you seem like a better roommate than you are, or rescue your TLC and Alanis Morissette CDs. Read on for some unusual uses of toothpaste. And if you've got a use for toothpaste that I didn't mention here, post it in the comments.
Step 1: Spackle Those Drywall Holes
It was 10:45, and my landlord was supposed to come around at 11:00 to do a final walkthrough of the apartment to determine if I would get back my sizeable security deposit. My place was so clean that the radiator and vertical slat blinds seemed oddly prominent, but there was still something off. I hadn't partied with Motley Crüe, I wasn't hoarding cats, and the burglars left surprisingly little damage once the broken window was cleaned up.
10:46. I'm wishing I had studied "Highlights for Children" more diligently while I waited to see my dentist. What's wrong with this picture?
Ohhhhhhh... there are a series of holes in the walls ranging in size from very tiny to small. Stupid picture frames, calendar nail, and curtain rods. Why didn't I realize that I would have to move out eventually and fill all of these holes? It's already 10:48?!
What to do what to do what to do... spackle. I need something spackly. Something white and pastey and... That's it! Toothpaste to the rescue. A quick dab here, a gentle smoosh there, and voilá! Handled.
11:15. Full deposit returned in exchange for my minty-fresh apartment. Cashier's check, you and I are going to the bank before the toothpaste dries.