Fortunately there is a way to use gravities twisted sense of humor in your favor. One has to simply rotate their chinese food so that the rice half is more ventral while the sauce coated nodules remain more dorsal as shown in the 'correct' part of the diagram below. This orientation utilizes rice's absorptive properties to act as a buffer, soaking the sauce in like a sponge before it can escape via the package's plastic/aluminium foil juncture. Thus your sauce is preserved in a pleasantly ingestable state, and your meal is already partially pre-mixed (if you prefer it that way, as I do).
Below the diagram one can find images of typical end results following the utilization of this method.
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