As organisms, we humans all experience those inconvenient hunger pangs from time to time. When we do, it is a great luxury to be able to inundate our gullets with nutritious food products like a bunch of geese being reared for pate'. Unfortunately the machinations of the world economy often render food quite "spendy". Food stamps are very good, but the application process seems almost punitive. That's why many people actively participate in "food re-harvesting". If you have ever appropriated and absconded with food, freshly plucked from the shelves our vast and conveniently located network of retail macro-warehouses, then you have participated in food re-harvesting. If you find that it is difficult to afford breakfast, lunch and dinner in your squalid and penniless existence and you have not yet evaluated appropriating and absconding as a possible option to relieve pressure on your dessicated, vestigial wallet, then read on.
Step 1: Evaluate the Benefits and Risks
But keep in mind that not everyone thinks that you should be able to abscond freely with the goods you appropriated, and they may want to stop you. Some of them are inextricably linked to the retail industry through employment. see figure "Industry" and note the horrible lolling eyes and minuscule nose of the beast of industry. These features render it incapable of smelling or otherwise noticing the volume and toxicity of its own waste. Also note the huge maw of the beast, perfect for devouring your livelihood.
With some instruction in technique and precautions, however, one can greatly assuage the risks.
Step 2: Evaluate Your Manner of Dress
Step 3: Search for and Appropriate Location
Step 4: Peruse the Isles
- Nutritional Concerns-- it is generally a good rule of thumb to avoid eating anything with more than 7 to 10 ingredients. Since you are appropriating and absconding with the items they may as well be health food... Do not be drawn in by brightly colored signs telling you to "indulge". The purpose of this is to knock out the price of a meal, not to acquire free diabetes.
- Behavioral Concerns
Behavior is probably the most important part of a successful appropriation outing. You should not ACT like you are shopping, because you really are. Just shop for something you want. This, however is easier said than done. People make some key mistakes when perusing their quarry. These include,
-excessive looking about- you should not look around nervously and pivot you head. slowly and gradually look around with a tranquil expression on your face.
-scrutinizing the ceiling for cameras- if you think there is a camera spying down on you get a better vantage from across the room. Do not look up directly.
and walking briskly through the store stopping only to pick up items (this is a mistake commonly associated with other kinds of appropriating i.e. non-food appropriating.) You should deliberately search for what you want, just like when shopping.