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Picture of BBQ-PDQ: OgreBurgers
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This is a mighty good burger that is sure to keep those pesky little humans out of your swamp!

In a nutshell: this could be confused with a mini-meatloaf. What is so great about this burger is that you can put all kinds of goodies in it without worry about half of them falling out of your bun! You can enjoy it like 1lb burger but only feel the guilt of eating a 1/4 pounder!

(If you like my Instructable please vote for me in the BBQ PDQ contest, THANKS!)
 
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Step 1: Materials

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Suggested Ingredients:

Laura's Lean Ground Beef (for a very tasty and healthy burger)
Fresh Onion
Fresh garlic
Canned Jalapenos
Green olives
Tomatoes
Whole wheat bun

Suggested tools:
BBQ
Flipper
Sharp Knife
Mesquite or Hickory
Tin Can
Bucket
Water
skillet
garlic press
wax paper

Step 2: Preperation

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You need to cut your Mesquite or Hickory or what ever wood you like to flavor you food with into some 1/4-1/2 inch cross sections (we will refer to these as "wood biscuits". I use Mesquite because it is like a weed in Texas so my parents brings me some logs when they or their neighbor clean out some brush. After you have cut up your log keep any sawdust or chips around to boost the flame whenever you need it.

Soak however many you think you will use in a large bucket of water, 5-6 should be good. This will allow them to steam/smoke more of their flavor into the BBQ without burning up so quickly.

Step 3: The meat of it!

Chop up your onions, olives, and mince your garlic. Put them into bowl on the side then cover the cutting board with wax paper. This will keep the raw meet off of the cutting board so that you don't have to wash it immediately if you need to cut more vegetables. The juices from the cut veggies should help keep the wax paper in place. Mush all the chopped goodies into your ground beef and form it into patties. I like to really mash it around for a while so that it becomes a quasi-homogeneous mixture.

Once you have your desired number of patties then use a sharp knife (or razor blade) to cut the wax paper around the patties, that way you can stake them for easy transport to the grill.

Some other things to try to mix in if you are feeling adventurous:
Mushrooms
pine nuts
Habaneros
pickle
tomato
...any other suggestions?

Step 4: Fire It Up Baby!

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Get your grill going and place some dry wood biscuits on the flame once it is ready to cook on, you will also want to add some of the soaked wood biscuits both on the fire and on the grill near the burgers. You can also use a small tin can (like a tuna can) full of water, a wood biscuit or two and some of the sawdust or wood chips. Keep this on the grill near hottest part of the flame so that the water will steam and carry that smoky flavor throughout the BBQ. Most of the smoky flavor will come from the wood biscuits that are on the fire but the tin can is good in case you run out of biscuits or forget to add more as they burn up (some smoky flavor is better than none!)

DO NOT start cooking your food as soon as you see fire!!! (unless you use gas) I can not tell you how new BBQ-ers have have made this mistake...nor how many tons of food have been ruined by this mistake. Especially if you are using lighter fluid, be sure the flame dies down and that most of the coal are just a subtle orange glow. I find that many times after i cook my food it just then becomes perfect for cooking so don't worry about the flame going out. (Worst case scenario you just add a few more coals or wood.)

As you are waiting for the fire to get up to temperature saute some onions in a skillet to assemble into your hamburger.

Step 5: Say Cheese!

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Cook to your liking adding your favorite cheese (I prefer cheddar) after the burger has been flipped and about 2-3 min before it looks like it will be done...this will of course depend on the heat and size of your fire but basically you want the cheese to melt all over your burger but you want to be able to take it off the grill before it all melts and slips off into the fire...that would be a very sad cheese-ogre-burger =(.

Random tip: To prepare avocado i like to cut it in have longitudinally, then whack the pit with the sharp edge of my knife and twist it out of the avocado half. Then run the tip of the knife down the flesh of the half without piecing the skin to segment it, then just use a spoon to scoop it out.

Step 6: Better out than in I always say...except for this OgreBurger!

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Serve with your favorite toppings...don't forget those sauted onions!

This one is served with green leaf lettuce (far superior then ice-burg), tomato, avocado, sauted onions, light mayo and ketchup...and a little slide of heaven!

Now have a breath mint... You may have enjoyed your burger but some of the creatures that live in your swamp may not be blessed with the same fine pallet as you.

(Mouth drooling yet? Please vote for me in the BBQ PDQ contest, THANKS AGAIN!)

Maybe you saved room for some dessert?
Zetheros6 years ago
Heh, the meat was not defrosted in time for dinner, so I turned the ogre to the consistency of sloppy joe.
Zetheros6 years ago
Nice instructable! It was funny and easy to follow at the same time. Thawing the burger to make a few ogres tonight.
Meroki6 years ago
lol xD it reminds me of Chowder x3
Sunny1246136 years ago
OOOOH I dony even think i could get a mouthful before thinking about some poor ogre i am eating right now..... but 5/5 stars!
Adapt, man! The fate of the burger-eating world depends on it! lol
mason01906 years ago
Mmmmm... 20 pounds of meat on one scrawny bun. Send in the backup!
finfan77 years ago
I would guess that tis is considerably more tasty than a regular ogre.
Na, ogres are quite good. Don't you ever wonder what the meat in a Big Mac is?
I always thought it was 60% beef (the legal minimum that they can still call beef) and 40% "stuff."
Mr. Rig It7 years ago
That first picture scares me, I don't like my food to look at me :-)
zaro123457 years ago
Very nice Instructable. I am just gonna have to try this next bbq I have. Thx! (favorited)
I love this! What a great idea. I think, the person feeling guilty eating such a great burger must be a very boring person.
Big Bwana7 years ago
And there I was thinking it was the first Cat burger ible from looking at the picture, I'll never get rid of my cats at this rate .... Great Ible.... the kids will love this (( just buggin about the kitties ))
joey25426677 years ago
i can tell from the top bun that you smashed it down really hard!
cloates7 years ago
An ogle-able, edible orge! Slick.
BartSimpson7 years ago
...uhhh... I swear that is the biggest burger I have ever seen... I am tempted to call it the Obese-Burger... because that is one HUGE burger, man...nice job...
Darren.7 years ago
GREAT IDEA!
let me guess.. you were watching shrek last night on TNT
ecogeeko (author)  Yerboogieman7 years ago
No, but i must have seen it at least 200 times, (my wife used to like to fall asleep watching it).
That is a mighty fine looking burger!