The next logical step is, naturally, bacon textiles. So get ready for an all body lube job. After all, cholesterol is fat, and fat is slippery. Lets lube those (heart) valves :)
Step 1: Ingredients and Tools
1 Package of sliced Bacon (at least 12 slices) -- any bacon will do, even blasphemous turkey bacon.
1 Baking Sheet
Hunger for Bacon
Step 2: Foil and Grease
Step 3: Weaving
Weave using an over/under pattern making a 6X6 matrix. Make it as tight as possible with minimal overlap. If your bacon strips have a wider side -- flip between wide and thin as you weave. This ensures your mat is not lopsided. Remember that bacon shrinks when cooked; this pulls the weave even tighter strengthening the structure.