They might not look quite as "authentic" as the more fiddly version, but:
A) I would NEVER get around to making it that way.
B) My spouse will still appreciate the effort & creativity.
C) It's still BACON. What's not to like??
Step 1: Things You Will Need
cupcake liners (Foil liners will make clean-up a breeze!)
skewers (Toothpicks might be better IF you have a mini-cupcake/muffin pan because it will make smaller holes in the bacon.)
oven & oven mitt
vase to hold to the bouquet
white chocolate chips
red food coloring
NEW paint brush
Step 2: Preheat Oven & Make the Roses
The annoying thing about precooked bacon is that it's not crispy. But this is also what makes it possible to use this to make easier bacon roses. YAY!
Take a piece and make a spiral. Then stick it with your skewer (or toothpick). Try to stick it on the top half. (The top should be the darker color.) This is so that the fat will drip from the bottom so you get crispier bacon.
Let the bacon "cook" for 5-10 minutes. You do NOT want to leave it in longer than 10 mins though!
Step 3: Prepare the Artificial Flowers
PLEASE NOTE: This will look a lot better if you use artificial ROSES because of the green bit at the bottom of the flower. But, I didn't have artificial roses, and my Valentine & I are both big believers in using what we already have. But, again, if you're buying the artificial flowers and/or you want these to look as much like roses as possible, BUY ARTIFICIAL ROSES.
Pull up the petals and see how they're connected to the stem. Artificial flowers will be different depending on the manufacturer, but I'm sure you'll figure out how to remove the petals.
Save the green bit that goes at the bottom of the flower and put it back on the stem. You'll want to push it down more than it was initially so that the "stem" sticking up with help hold the bacon rose.
Step 4: Assemble Bacon Roses
Then all you have to do is put the bacon on the stem. Ta-da!
Repeat & put them in a vase for the world's tastiest bouquet ever!
Step 5: Optional - Chocolate!
One option would be to melt some chocolate, dip the bottom of the bacon rose in it, and THEN place it on the stem. That way, you've got chocolate AND when the chocolate hardens again, it helps the bacon stay on the stem. Not needed, but an option.
Another option, which is what I did, is to use the chocolate to decorate.
I put a few white chocolate chips & a tiny splash of milk in a cupcake paper, microwaved it for 60 seconds at 70% power, smushed it around a little, then put it in for another 60 seconds at 70% power. It was liquidy enough at that point to add a drop of red food coloring.
Once the color was mixed well, I put it back in the microwave for 20 seconds at 70% power to make sure it wasn't solidifying yet. Can't paint unless it's pretty much a liquid, right? I painted the top part of the roses with the red chocolate. I think that if I'd used a bit more food coloring, it would have looked a bit better, so think about making the chocolate a deeper red than you might initially think was ideal.