Instructables
Picture of Bacon candle (a.k.a., the Man-dle)
A candle made specifically for a man's enjoyment, using the greatest fragrance known to man: BACON!!!

Guys, let's face it.  Scented candles are most definitely NOT manly.  Imagine, if you will, the humiliation that would be yours if one of your chums were to drop by and discover you home, alone, with a room full of scented candles spewing their dainty perfume throughout your abode!  The shame would be so overwhelming that it would neutralize every last molecule of testosterone fleeing your loins! 

Without doubt, jasmine, rose petal, lavender, vanilla, and similarly scented candles are all intended for the enjoyment of the fairer sex.  Heck, as far as I am concerned, the only two reasons to use a candle are during power outages and....well...er...a..., let's just say that the second reason has a lot to do with playing to the fancies of the aforementioned fairer sex. 

No More!  It's time we MEN have a candle we can burn proudly:  one proclaiming our manhood instead of severing it!  Introducing the Man-dle!

Ingredients:
  • Bacon
  • Bee's wax
  • Cotton yarn, cord, or similar wick material.
Note: As it turns out, there are other bacon candles on Instructables.  I did not know this prior to starting this 'ible.  No plagiarism was intended.  That said, the Man'dle offers advantages over other similar products and, I believe, deserves a read.
 
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Step 1: Cook Bacon

This is beef bacon, so feel free to use it for a Hanukkah candle! 

We want to get as much of the oil out of the Bacon as possible without burning it.  Cook on medium low heat.  This will take a while. 

If you don't know how to cook bacon, you should stop reading now.  You are clearly not man enough to continue.  I suggest drawing a nice warm bath, adding a few drops of lavender oil, and soaking until you grow a pair!  
Orngrimm1 year ago
"If you don't know how to cook bacon, you should stop reading now. You are clearly not man enough to continue. I suggest drawing a nice warm bath, adding a few drops of lavender oil, and soaking until you grow a pair!"
Hahahaha! (I almost choked on my beer there!)
Oh man! You, Sir, just won the contest for the most manly 'ible around! :)
jxross (author)  Orngrimm1 year ago
Thanks for the comments. The original draft of that particular paragraph suggested adding pussy willow to the bath instead of the lavender, but my wife vetoed that as a bit over the top. Oops, did I just sneak it in? My bad! :-)
rsmigielski1 month ago
I used crystal wax from hobby lobby to make this today.
temp_-1266059081.jpg
I don't do drugs, and I have a penchant for getting fat.,....

And to me this is FOOD PORN!

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm BACON.....

Cooked Bacon, Bacon sammiches, Bacon Rolls, Bacon and Eggs, Bacon and Chillies, Bacon and Cheese, Bacon and Bacon...

Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Bacon Candles.....

This is just too much.

I do not know you but I think we might be friends if I knew you.

but u can post the clean version here tho. any thats not clean can be underscored like this ____________________ . an done
jasonfehrs1 year ago
I don't normally comment on ibles, but when I do, i make sure it's the most manly bacon themed ones. I salute you sir on a job well done.
Hahah! Awesome job. I enjoy great writing.
hotsteel01 year ago
OMg thats just PURE EVIL!!!
Genuis! I must say this is something will make anyone hungry as hell!
narf71 year ago
Mr J.X.Ross invents a Fakin candle?! What next...tofu candle?! You are heading over to the dark side sir... ;)
jxross (author)  narf71 year ago
I'm not sure I was ever on any side other than the dark side! And I have failed to say it before, but thanks for all the comments on my other projects. They always make me chuckle.
Hilarious! I'm so allergic to all the fru-fru smelling candles...but I love bacon! Nice job!
jxross (author)  doodlecraft1 year ago
Thanks for the comments. You may also enjoy my Blackberry-peach Anti-Occu-pie write-up.  The result is pretty tasty, too.
"If you don't know how to cook bacon, you should stop reading now. You are clearly not man enough to continue. I suggest drawing a nice warm bath, adding a few drops of lavender oil, and soaking until you grow a pair!"

YEEEEEES!!! *Does the Man-Dance!*

It's easy to see that a bacon candle is the hands-down choice.
I use beef tallow and sometimes chicken fat for some of my candles. And lard, right after I've made donuts, onion rings or fried chicken. I'll either use a cut open Arizona tea can or just a shot-glass to hold the candle fat.
Well done, sir. Well done.
john31 year ago
Thanks. I make man-dle now. lol
quadracer1 year ago
Awesome ible !!! Havent laughed this hard in a while.
Very detailed and very humourous. Thank you
Reffner1 year ago
Maybe "Strips of beef that want to be bacon candle" is a more accurate title for this. Beef bacon? Seriously? REAL men eat REAL bacon. LOL
jxross (author)  Reffner1 year ago
Touché! Though for fake bacon, the taste of this stuff is pretty close.
Reffner jxross1 year ago
All meant in good fun ;) I've had it and I agree, it's pretty tasty stuff! Still, If I can get some bacon grease away from the wife (she cooks with it) I have to try this. It is a fantastic idea!