Free Baked Cinnamon Garbage

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Introduction: Free Baked Cinnamon Garbage

A local bakery used to throw out a lot of cinnamon bread. When someone comes back from that dumpster you hear "Any cinnamon?". But sadly no, there's never any cinnamon bread in those dumpsters anymore.

However, they do throw out a lot of dough when they're done filling the breadpans...

photo by Nagutron

Step 1: The Hunt

Dumpster Dowsing is a rare skill or rather a talent.

You must unhinge your third eye's lower jaw and swallow the universe with your mind, then dissolve yourself in it.

If you're a master of Filipino psychic surgery, you probably have this gift.

Today it's easy. The dough has risen enough to sploosh up through the loaves and reveal its cinnamony baby cheeks.

Step 2: The Kill

Heart hammering, I crept into the monster's den and reached under its warm body to grip the bag of treasure without waking it.

In a single move I flung its infant out of the cave still wrapped in black plastic placenta. Pungent cinnamon afterbirth went everywhere.

I fled down the trail with my prize. No footfalls echoed my own.
My huge eyes darted for signs of Hyenas (Pixar security guards) and Warthogs (Anglo bread drivers who say "shouldn't be doing that". The immigrant drivers love it when you save bread from waste)

Step 3: Back at the Lab

I put the shmoo creature in a cozy bin in the kitchen and rounded up every ovenproof vessel for an orgy of baking. There was a whole lot of cinnamon stuff in the bag, far more than would ever go in the bakery's loaves. I put the pans in at 375 and the smell was unbelievably good.

Step 4: Testing on Humans

Moe-Zarticus came from his alcove to sample the hot stuff.

"Mwff!" He declared, "Mwumwumff!"

after a minute we still hadn't heard whether he'd died or not, so we all feasted.

Step 5: The Food of Philosophers

I continued to bake cinnamon stuff for days afterward. I found a muffin pan in a storage-unit dumpster, so I started making what Eric called "Cinnamuffin Rolls"
Whenever the delicious smell filled the building people would come rushing to feast.

Sometimes I overheard dialogue:

"But why am I eating this?"
"Because it's delicious."
"but it's garbage..."

As I'm fond of saying "A dumpster is like an art gallery, they can put anything in there, and to get the most out of it you have to look really carefully."

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121 Comments

You know where food comes from originally , right? It just grows on a big pile of shit and dirt that's left out in the sun. Or it's squeezed out of or chopped off animals that sleep in shit, have sex with other animals and never take a bath.
The fact that something is in a dumpster rather than your mom's fridge tells you little about whether it's good to eat. Most refrigerators have food in them that's years old, and such pathogens as Crohn's disease. A commercial dumpster that's emptied frequently does not.
You have to look at it, smell it, and use your animal skills to decide if you want to wash it, or cook it, or whatever.

I loved this instructable! Tim if I was not happily married I would come courting.

geez... do you guys know why they threw it out in the first place?
I can just imagine " Oh no, I accidentally dumped bleach into this batch" "Well throw it out then! We don't want people to die from eating our food!"

this honestly kinda scares me a bit but it looks yummy

This makes me feel much better about dropping that sammitch and then picking it up and eating it yesterday.

so sad semifreddies moved to Alameda :-(

Do you pick up lets say an uneaten, wrapped, perfectly good sandwich or do you just not mind a half-eaten burger hastily dumped into the dumpster section for eggshells, dust, a used tissue, lint, and a stray-cat named Carl? No sarcasm intended. And not a rhetorical question.

Eating trash is just like going to an art museum. They put all kinds of stuff in there, and it's up to you to figure out what you like or don't like. Or like looking for food in your Mom's fridge. That jar of mayo with the hieroglyphics on it might have been there from when the fridge was a space sarcophagus landing from planet Norge. You've got the animal senses to smell and detect what might kill you and what might make you vigorous and give you a shiny coat.

made sense to me!