Introduction: Free Baked Cinnamon Garbage
A local bakery used to throw out a lot of cinnamon bread. When someone comes back from that dumpster you hear "Any cinnamon?". But sadly no, there's never any cinnamon bread in those dumpsters anymore.
However, they do throw out a lot of dough when they're done filling the breadpans...
photo by Nagutron
Step 1: The Hunt
Dumpster Dowsing is a rare skill or rather a talent.
You must unhinge your third eye's lower jaw and swallow the universe with your mind, then dissolve yourself in it.
If you're a master of Filipino psychic surgery, you probably have this gift.
Today it's easy. The dough has risen enough to sploosh up through the loaves and reveal its cinnamony baby cheeks.
Step 2: The Kill
Heart hammering, I crept into the monster's den and reached under its warm body to grip the bag of treasure without waking it.
In a single move I flung its infant out of the cave still wrapped in black plastic placenta. Pungent cinnamon afterbirth went everywhere.
I fled down the trail with my prize. No footfalls echoed my own.
My huge eyes darted for signs of Hyenas (Pixar security guards) and Warthogs (Anglo bread drivers who say "shouldn't be doing that". The immigrant drivers love it when you save bread from waste)
Step 3: Back at the Lab
I put the shmoo creature in a cozy bin in the kitchen and rounded up every ovenproof vessel for an orgy of baking. There was a whole lot of cinnamon stuff in the bag, far more than would ever go in the bakery's loaves. I put the pans in at 375 and the smell was unbelievably good.
Step 4: Testing on Humans
Moe-Zarticus came from his alcove to sample the hot stuff.
"Mwff!" He declared, "Mwumwumff!"
after a minute we still hadn't heard whether he'd died or not, so we all feasted.
Step 5: The Food of Philosophers
I continued to bake cinnamon stuff for days afterward. I found a muffin pan in a storage-unit dumpster, so I started making what Eric called "Cinnamuffin Rolls"
Whenever the delicious smell filled the building people would come rushing to feast.
Sometimes I overheard dialogue:
"But why am I eating this?"
"Because it's delicious."
"but it's garbage..."
As I'm fond of saying "A dumpster is like an art gallery, they can put anything in there, and to get the most out of it you have to look really carefully."