Bicycle Defense Kit

The Bicycle Defense Kit (BDK) offers options for dealing with aggressive motorists.  Contained within an altoids tin, the 8 tools vary in detectability, potential to cause damage, and legality.

Specifically, cyclists can:
1. Issue "citizen citations" with official-ish tickets.
2. Label offending vehicles with an "I was a jerk to a cyclist" sticker.
3. Introduce the risk of paint damage with a Jolly Rancher.
4. Create certain coating cremation via DOT3 brake fluid.
5. Make cars stink worse than their exhaust with a carefully-placed stink bomb.
6. Throw a trusty bolt to dent offending traffic as it passes.
7. Lock out loony drivers by filling their keyholes with super glue.
8. Cut through tire valve stems with a utility blade.

It goes without saying that you shouldn't do anything you're not fully prepared to take responsibility for.  This project is meant to increase cyclist confidence, not fatalities.

You can order one made by me for $20, or build a cooler version yourself for ~$10.

Step 1 Set Your Design Goals

This is a universal that I'm slowly and surely trying to integrate into projects.  Sometimes, I even remember to think about what I'm trying to build before wasting a lot of time making the wrong thing:)

My main goals with the BDK were:
1. Cost: <$10 in parts and very little time to build so I can happily sell tem at $20 each.
2. Size/weight: small/light enough that people might actually carry it.
3. Subtlety: objects close enough to everyday detritus as to permit "plausible deniability."
4. Variety: different severities of revenge will help me ride more confidently and encourage fair responses by cyclists.  U-locks should sometimes meet windows, but these occasions ought to be few and far between.

Next, I kinda just brainstormed and experimented until I was happy with how close I got to ghese goals.  Here's a much better overview of the design process than I can provide.

Comments

[chichimus]

have any jerk stickers for bikes? like the one today who blasted through a stop sign and through the people in the cross walk, or the one who almost ran into me on the side walk (funny how you can't see where you are riding if you aren't looking), or the ones who drop their bikes "for a moment" at the door of the shop they've gone into.

do like the idea of the brake fluid though. some of the offending bikes I've seen look far too shiny. Maybe make up a pedestrian defence kit! just have to include a 'spoke rod'

happy walking

[munineye]

Awesome 'ible!

My only concern might be that if the offending driver sees your retaliation against them immediately, you're in way more trouble with the law than they are. I live in a very bike-friendly town, and still, if a cyclist is nearly run off the road (or actually killed), the driver is never charged. But if a cyclist retaliates, the cops are on them faster than stink on you-know-what.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is don't immediately stick a Jolly Rancher on the offending car or break windows where people can see you, etc. Be smart, be safe, and above all, don't get caught!

[Fred82664]

better yet ride your bike with a colt 45 on your hip and a flag that says watch out for me or will feel me !

[microdot]

You could carry a tube of Vaseline lip balm to squirt on a window or two.  It's annoying and a little difficult to remove but won't hurt the paint.  But "Prank" is right. Vandalism is wrong, m'kay?

[Colonel88]

No. Put it on the car door for "WTF Can't open the door, it's all slippery..."

[thisjustin]

Hey this is a pretty awesome instructable, thanks for it. A couple things were a little vague (at least to me). Could you please tell me the intended use of the brake fluid, and the jolly rancher? I didn't understand their purposes, nor their implementation. Thanks!

[liseman]

hi thisjustin,

jolly ranchers are really sticky when you lick them.  supposedly, slapping this on car paint results in the paint coming off when the driver attempts to remove it, unless they carefully melt the jolly rancher off.

the brake fluid is another way to eat paint, just much quicker:)

have a good one,
luke

[prank]

Look, I love vandalism as much as the next guy, but surely you don't think screwing up someone's paint job is going to make the streets any better for bikers.
And to make things worse, you're trying to sell a kit for car vandalism at a ridiculous markup.  With that, you've lost any moral high ground you might have had, and it was damn shaky to begin with.  A capitalist with crappy, poorly thought-out morals masquerading as a bike-rights anarchist is a sad sight.

That being said, I love those Jerk stickers!  Genius!  I think it's certainly the most effective idea from this 'ible, and wicked funny to boot.

I don't mean to discourage you.  Well, actually, I do.  And insult you a bit while I'm discouraging you, more to get your attention through moral outrage than anything else.  But it's the "us-vs-them, two-wheels-vs-four-wheels" mentality that I want to discourage, not the desire to fix the crappy situation that is riding a bike in america.  That's incredibly satisfying in the short term, but I challenge you to explain to me how using your kit would improve the lives of you/bikers/drivers five minutes after you ding up someone's car.  If you're going to sell this kit, you should probably have a clear answer to this question, because you're going to get it a lot.

[_Scratch_]

Hmm i wonder how long that took you to write?

[toekneebullard]

This should get some interesting comments. 

Have fun on your bike!