Building a Chicken Tractor, the LONG and DIFFICULT Way! (UPDATED!)

Step 8 A Door!

Remember that 6th hoop? THAT'S what it is for! You subconsciously knew you needed 6! You won't need the other 3 unbent pieces, though. Put them in the barn for some other project.
Using a section of pipe slightly shorter than the base end, drill holes for the hoop and screw it together. Cut a piece of mesh 6 inches larger than the doorframe, then lash the mesh to the frame using the nylon STRING you couldn't find earlier, but then found under the porch swing. Use the white string, not the PINK stuff!
Fit the bottom pipe into the Tractor frame so it sits on top of the base pipe. Using wire, tie the two pipes together. make a latch at the top with more wire.
NOW it is DONE!
Add chickens!
The chickens need food, water, and shelter from sun and rain. Inside the tractor are a feeder, a waterer, and a big storage tub made into a coop. The non-door end has a shower curtain wired over it to act as a sun shade/ umbrella.
Move the Tractor, with the chickens inside, (but take the feeders and coop out), by holding the end hoop and SLOWLY sliding it across the grass while your wife calls, "Come here, Chickies!" They will waddle along inside, frequently stopping to sit down, and thinking that the 15 feet you made them walk is the most strenuous exercise they have ever had.
4 to 6 weeks later, enjoy another Egg Salad Sandwich. It will be the best one ever, because YOUR grass-fed chickens laid the eggs!
Except you accidentally bought Broiler (for eating) Chickens.
And they're all Roosters.
And you can't eat them, because they have names. You don't eat pets that have names.

Comments

[persianfan]

OMG this was freakin hilarious!! i laughed so hard because it is everyone of my projects that i have ever done!! and im getting ready to build more chicken pens myself for some new chicks we will be getting so i can already see where this is going. thanks for the laugh.

[rustaholic]

Yes you can eat pets with names. Once it's dead it is just meat. Get yourself some Isa Brown pullets from Townline Poultry. (google it) You will get an egg a day per hen. Attach nest boxes to your closed end that open on the outside for you to collect the eggs. Around here you would need something a LOT stronger than that mesh. That plastic mesh wouldn't even slow down a hungry coyote.

[A D]

Great!! I really got a kick out of the ending. Wait till those "pet Roosters" get their act together and we will see how long they stay "pets". I loved the overall project and the putting together reminded me of many of mine. Great Job!

[drucifer]

Dude. This was freaking hilarious. It was just like I was building it. you left out the smash thumb clause and the inevitable stop and have a beer policy. Oh, and there's the 'wife came home and said "What the hell is this?!?!" clause... Thanks!