Instructables
Picture of Butt Table
A Butt Table is a table made from the butt slices of a tree.  Here is one way to make yourself a butt table.
 
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Step 1: What's a Butt Table ??

A picture is worth a thousand words . . .

Step 2: Architecture

Picture of Architecture
The butt table presented here consists of three basic parts:

1) The table top (or butt)
2) The stand
3) The "feet"

Step 3: Tools and Materials

Tools that were used for this project
  •  Electric chain saw (about $50)
  • Alternative to chain saw: reciprocating saw
  • Chisels (be sure to buy chisels that are already sharpened)
  •  Electric sander
  • Jig saw
  • Dremel tool
  • Drill
  • Nail gun
Materials
  • Large stump for the table top
  • Thick branch for the stand
  • Medium thickness branch for the feet
  • 150 and 220 grit sandpaper (lots)
  • Oil-based stain
  • Satin polyurethane
  • 2 and 3 inch screws

Step 4: Terminology

Picture of Terminology
Banana cut or slice: A round slice taken out of a branch, much like the way you slice a banana for a peanut butter sandwich.

Banana split: A length wise split down a branch, much like the way you cut a banana length-wise for a banana split.  Some people also refer to these as rip cuts.

Butt table slice: Same as a banana cut , but taken out of a trunk rather than just a branch.

Crotch: A limb containing a branch that shoots out at a good angle for making a hook.  Warning: a crotch stick can be rather itchy, though. (thanks to spanner1969 and anabelle)

Step 5: Step 1: Cut down a tree

Picture of Step 1:  Cut down a tree
See the Instructable "Cutting Down a Tree in Pieces"

Step 6: Table Top: Mark the slab width on trunk (1 min)

Picture of Table Top: Mark the slab width on trunk (1 min)
The table top is a large banana slab sliced from a tree trunk using a chain saw or reciprocating saw.  

To help keep the resulting slab somewhat the same depth all around, first mark the depth all around the trunk.  This will help keep your cut straight.  A little.

Step 7: Table Top: do the cut thang (2 hrs)

Picture of Table Top: do the cut thang (2 hrs)
I recommend a chain saw for this.  Cut along your mark and take your time.

NOTE:
Wear eye goggles and ear plugs!

Step 8: TIP: Ear Plugs

Picture of TIP: Ear Plugs
I recommend the ear plugs that go around your neck so that you can remove them and not have to try to find them over and over and over.

Been there.
Done that.
sconnors11 months ago
Your base is very narrow. Looks like the table would be inclined to tip sideways. Maybe putting the pieces in a cross shape would be more stable? I would think the base should be almost the size of the top.
cobinrox (author)  sconnors11 months ago
Yah I think you're right about the feet length, I'll update the 'able about that issue.
sconnors11 months ago
Since my previous comment was pretty obscure, I created my first instructable to show what I meant. http://www.instructables.com/id/Jig-for-surfacing-with-a-router/
cobinrox (author)  sconnors11 months ago
EGG SALAD! (Excellent!)
That's great!
I'll add a link to your 'able. Dang wish I had thought of that alonnnnnnng time ago!
drhs9111 months ago
*snicker* "butt"
sconnors11 months ago
I used a router mounted in the center of a board over twice as long as the diameter of the round. Level up a support on each side and rout off the high spots.
Gadisha11 months ago
I like big butts and I can not lie... ;) No really, I love the way this table looks and laughed my butt off while reading this Instructable!!!
Hope you get prize. Anyway, This is what ibles should strive to be. Informative, and filled with humor. Give us more...........!
annieannie11 months ago
This table is absolutely beautiful!!! I would put it in my house in a NY minute :)
OMG I totally cracked up reading the directions....lolol !!!!!!!!!!! GREAT sense of humor :) voted and fav'd this!
jbrecken12 months ago
I think you're matching the wrong shape - you traced the bottom of the branch where it will line up with the top of the feet but then you're drawing it on the bottom of the feet, so you'll end up with the mirror image of the hole you really want. This only works if your branch is symmetrical.
cobinrox (author)  jbrecken12 months ago
DOH! You're right!!!
I'll have to add an extra step to de-blooberfy that part of the instructable.
Thanks for the tip.
gcanders12 months ago
It looks pretty solid. Nice job.
jessyratfink12 months ago
Great instructable! :D

And this:
"Ah, yes it is a real table, covered with crap in record time."
had me rolling. hahah!