Buttons: an experiment with cheese

Anecdoteally sailors used to carve things like buttons from cheese, as referred to here for one.

The British Navy did indeed procure cheese, which was rather hard (but durable) and presumably became harder with age.

Knowing that cheese can go rather hard if dried out, I decided to test the cheese-button anecdote.

I used a selection-bag of cheeses:

Austrian Smoked Processed Cheese
cheese, water, butter, milk protein, emulsifying salt (polyphosphate), potato starch, salt, liquid smoke

Edam
milk, salt, starter culture, colour (carotene), preservative (sodium nitrate, calcium chloride), animal rennet

Boursin
milk and cream, garlic and herbs (1.6%), salt, pepper

Mini Babybel Original
milk, salt, milk ferments, vegetarian rennet

Mini Babybel Cheddar Variety
cheddar cheese (94%), water, preservative (nisin)

Red Leicester
milk, cheese culture, salt, rennet, colour (annatto)

Step 1: Preparation

Considering the different formats, I decided to cut slices ~¹/₄ inch thick, and ³/₄ inch wide.
The width of the strip was the only consistent accurate measurement, and would serve as a shrinkage point of reference.
The Boursin being mushy couldn't be cut, so it was spread onto a strip of plastic pizza-base.

Comments

[swaldock]

As I understand it the cheese which was hardest and was considered so inedible as to be used for buttons was Suffolk Cheese which is fine fresh but degenerates into what is very close to casein - which is as I'm sure you know the very first form of plastic.

[junits15]

haha that should make for an interesting conversation piece at parties!

[lemonie]

Yes... what sort of parties do you go to then? L

[junits15]

I'm only 15, at the parties I go to cheese buttons wouldn't be a good idea :) but maybe for a more "sophisticated" party.

[frollard]

This is a ridiculously awesome ible 'mythbusting' a neat tale. Well done!

[lemonie]

I never thought of mythbusting, but I suppose in a way that's what it was. I might like to see the Mythbusters do this. L

[godofal]

why, if you have done it already...
but i must admint, when reading the result, i did think about mythbusters :P

[sgt.pepper]

if the mythbusters did it, They'd fail, and find the c4 and blow the cheese up.

[Damage, Inc.]

Hmm, could this withstand going through the wash, though? THAT's the major obstacle here. haha.

[lemonie]

I'll try it and let you know. L

[Zaphod Beeblebrox]

maybe some sort of laminating arrangement

[lemonie]

Varnish.

L

[Wasagi]

 :O

[natethegreat88]

"So how exactley did you break your dremel." "Ummm... well i was grinding down cheese..." "You were what?" "...Grinding down cheese." jk

[lemonie]

I didn't use the Dremel-A-like on this, but I appreciate your sense of humour, thanks. L

[natethegreat88]

Oh, i just realized that that isn't a Dremel, and your welcome.

[ycc2106]

Best ever! Now you need to make a biodegradable cloth to go with it, would give the fashion market a great boost! XDD

[lemonie]

Cotton would count? Hemp? L

[ycc2106]

.. isn't there something quicker? I think hemp takes years to disappear. Well, there's no need to make it solid. Use it fresh?

*thinking* ...leafs, vegetables...

There are those candy panties, but that won't do for rainy days.... so how about seaweed?

[nutty guy]

thats cool but I hope you ate that cheese!

[lemonie]

I ate the rest of it. L

[nutty guy]

good good

[lemonie]

..with crackers.

[Punkguyta]

This is actually pretty damn cool lemonie. Have you ever thought of joining the mythbusters? And another thought, do you think this could be done from meat? like beef jerky?

[lemonie]

I suggest that you try it! L

[Punkguyta]

Beef Jerky anyone?

[Atomman]

What shall happen next time our cheese goes bad...

[keikothemeowmeow]

LOL, I really don't think I'd go through all the trouble of making my own buttons (especially since buttons are only around 3 bucks for 20 pairs) just to have seagulls attack me all day.....just...WHY?

[lemonie]

Read the introduction. L

[thepelton]

I have made buttons from thin plywood using an Epilog laser. You can decorate them.

[lemonie]

Do you think the laser would cut cheese? (nicely) L

[thepelton]

Personally, I think the laser would melt it, and make a mess.

[lemonie]

I think there's still quite a bit of fat content, it'd make a nasty-smell at the least! L

[shermans]

Lol that's pretty neat, I thought you where just kidding when you commented on it, but this is a great use for cheese. You could even go as far as to press pattrens into the cheese and stuff I bet. You ever use poly clay?

[lemonie]

Not sure what poly clay is, Fimo? L

[thepelton]

Fimo is a variety of poly clay. I think that Sculpey is the US variety, and Fimo is the type from Europe.

[shermans]

It's oven back clay http://www.sculpey.com/

[lemonie]

Ah thanks. L

[Fodaro]

Have you tried using macro mode for taking close-ups with the camera? There's often a button marked with a flower icon which will allow the camera to focus on objects close to the lens.

[lemonie]

It doesn't work (usually). But I spend a bit of time adjusting various things and managed a better one. L