Step 1: Everything
It's wicked simple--First, go to a thrift store, and check out the kitchen section. I found these nice saltshakers for a buck. Get something that's pretty, feels good, and is long-ish.
Next, you'll need an old bike inner tube. If you don't have tons of them lying around in your kitchen, taking up all the space where you wish you could be keeping your recycling(...), go the dumpster behind a bike store, and there's always tons of them.
Cut off the valve from the bike tube, and cut it in two. Keeping the inner tube really tight, lash on your items-of-choice to your handlebars. For those of you new to inner tube lashing, all you do is wrap an inner tube really tightly around a couple of things, tuck the end under a loop, and then they stick together really well!
You're done!--go find someone to admire your maaddd skillzzzzzzz
(and always remember--Art is Wrong! sooooo wrong. OMG it's wrong wow)
p.s.--the dinner plate and wineglass attachments in the picture are optional. I kinda went all out making