Instructables

Coffeos - Magic Caffeine Creme Sandwich Cookies

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Double stuff your creme sandwich cookie and give it a jolt.  Good for on the go when you can't have that coffee in your lap and need that afternoon pick-me-up.  Coffee and a cookie all in one self-contained unit.

CAUTION: May be addictive. Caffeine in any quantity can lead to severe reactions or abuse. Kids, don't try this at home, school, minimum wage part-time job, etc.

Oreo is a registered trademark product of a giant master baking corporation.  Product used here is the generic brand from my local supermarket because I am a cheapskate frugal dad.
 
 
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Step 1: You need stuff...

This is more hack your cookie than making the cookie from scratch.  I am more a roasting and grillin' guy, ok, frying so I really don't do dessert baking.

Grab a package of Oreos or similar double-sided cookie with creme stuffing in the middle. Would even work with Vanilla Wafers but then I would have to come up with another punny name.

You will need:

Instant coffee - whatever brand you like, there is espresso powder also

Non-dairy creamer powder - any flavor - not really necessary but can add bulk and flavor to the mix

Confectioners sugar ( castor sugar in the UK?)   - this is the fine stuff mistaken for that other stuff, do not inhale

Shortening - lard-like substance made by various industrial edible oil cracking processes


Step 2: Cream it or should I say creme it...

No dairy, no cream, just essential sugars and fats.

In a small mixing container:

Put a dollop of the shortening in there.

Add about a teaspoon of instant coffee in there.  You can also put in a drop of water to hydrate the crystals so you don't get that crunch in the end.  For those of you who know what "Ranger coffee" is, you may enjoy that texture or it may give you flashbacks (eating instant coffee powder dry from MRE packs or C-Rats).  

Add a bit of powdered coffee creamer here.

Add a spoonful of powdered sugar.

Mix and incorporate well.  Use a fork to fluff it up.

Give it a taste and adjust the amount of instant coffee you put in there.  It may be too strong or too weak depending on your taste for a good brew.

Maybe add a drop of hot chocolate powder, cocoa powder or food coloring to jazz up the color to make it more appealing.

Step 3: Dunk it...

You know the drill..
 
Take your cookie and gently give it a twist to get one of the sides off.  Leave the filling and other side of the cookie intact.

Butter up the bare cookie with a dollop of your caffeinated spread.

Don't be afraid, give it a good schmear but don't break the cookie.

Reassemble said cookie placing part A back on part B while aligning part C to conform to part A in line with part B and part C...

Give it a gentle squish to distribute the stuffing.

Step 4: Get buzzed...

You can have this in addition with a cup of coffee or tea...(dunno, but it might work for a green tea version)

I know you just can't have one.  Gauge your intake with how much instant coffee you normally use for one cup of coffee and by how much you put in the stuffing by how many cookies you eat.

Monitor vital signs.

Queue up that netflix for a couple of hours...

Enjoy!
JesusGeek10 days ago

Om nom nom

danlynne072 years ago
mmmmmmmmm.i can see why you were a finalist. i dont know what you were up against but good job.
Oh good bye diet!
ilpug2 years ago
Uh oh. I know what I am doing this weekend, and that my sleep will suffer dearly for it.
G'day
In the UK and in Australia, (where I am) confectioners sugar is called Icing Sugar. There are two kinds.. Icing sugar (has a bit of cornflour added to it) and Pure Icing Sugar (which, duh, is pure sugar).
Yeah, don't ask me why.
We also don't generally do 'creamers'..if you want cream in your coffee..you use real cream...from a cow. But mostly, people just use milk...yes, from a cow.
Otherwise they drink it black.
I have TRIED to find dairy free creamer for recipes over hear..yeah..still looking.
So not sure what substitute you could use for that, cos its a tad more difficult than the whole confectioners sugar thingy. Powdered product for very very wet one...hmmm.
Oh..and one other tip, is that UK and Australia don't do really do Crisco either (well, I've never seen it here)..but we DO have this awesome stuff called Copha, which is a vegetable (coconut) shortening. Which I am TOLD you can get over in the states at Wholefoods if you are lucky.
Anyways, I share all this intercontinental knowledge with you, as you made reference to Caster Sugar. Caster sugar is actually what Wikipedia tells me you guys call superfine white sugar.
:)

Ooo this Copha stuff sounds interesting. I'll have to keep my eyes open for it.
Thanks for the info. I guess the non-dairy creamer "coffee whitener" product is available more in the USA as a matter of convenience, extremely long shelf life and pushed by industry marketing. It would be necessary for those with certain allergies but can still be chemically derived from dairy products. There may be soy or vegan products that substitute for milk and cream but probably not in powdered form. Hmmm, I wonder if anyone has tried to put Tang in their Oreo, that powdered orange juice drink substitute made famous on space missions.
bfrench472 years ago
Gonna try it both ways! Thanks for the recipe, the coffee sounds like what I need on long drives. Also has me wondering what else I could hide in that oreo.
caitlinsdad (author)  bfrench472 years ago
anchovies
bfrench472 years ago
Sounds good! Wondering about scraping the filling into a bowl, jazzing it up with coffee, maybe a little liquid to soften it enough, and refilling the cookies. I think Ill try that, too.
caitlinsdad (author)  bfrench472 years ago
You could, but where is the joy of replicating that delicious and mysterious creme filling that could survive a nuclear attack?
valeriasj2 years ago
Or, (if one is willing to devote a little more time), one could (1) deconstruct the premade cookies, (2) scrape the filling in a bowl, (3) incorporate the coffee flavoring into the filling by smooshing & mixing -- sorry, don't have any ideas regarding quantities here, then (4) sandwich a glob of the newly flavored filling back between 2 cookies. Coffee & chocolate, YUM!
caitlinsdad (author)  valeriasj2 years ago
ah, what one must do to suffer for their art. The fine delineation of separate stuffs and the contrast of such is vital in bringing about such a zen state of awareness that you realize, in the palm of your hand, you have the essence of coffee, cream, and sugar, well, double the sugar than that found in a normal cookie. It also serves as a visual cue similar to the unnatural color of the poison dart frog to warn the uninitiated that this is no ordinary cookie. Besides, it is fun to mush up more stuffing for the cookie.
Clayton H.2 years ago
When you said coffee crystals all I could think about was the Chris Farley hidden camera sketch
canida2 years ago
These are frightening crack! Awesome.
Wooooow. Genius!