Have not an oven? No need to fret! Here's a no bake pie that doesn't require pudding and has all the baked in flavor and smell of a traditionally baked pie!

Also involved in this pie that oozes awesome:
jessyratfink- for the filling know how
lamedust - for the general awesomeness
Joshf - for the insatiable lust of pie just prior to making pie, and for cutting his finger with an ikea knife and for crushing cookies with the bloody hand

This pie was delicious. While I can't predict the future (and there's some awesomely good competition), I promise, if this project wins, that I'll use the Pie bible and send it to one of my co-conspirators as long as s/he promises to do the same.

Step 1: Ingredients

You'll need

Exactly this much apple (about 4-5 apples) - chopped as shown
1 Pie Crust - pre-made (no bake, of course)
Butter to coat apples
Sugar - to taste plus a tiny bit for sweetness
A little cinnamon
Vanilla Wafers OR Graham Crackers (I recommend the latter)

The units of measurement here are relative ;)

Step 2: Filling

The filling for this pie is quite easy - basically, your typical apple pie filling.

Place your butter in a pan and allow to melt. Next throw in all of your apples. Don't worry - it will reduce as it cooks.

Add sugar, and a little water. Cinnamon is a great idea too ;)

Stir occasionally over medium heat.

Step 3: Making a Top "Crust"

So apply pie really needs a top crust... But, we can't bake anything :(

So here's a mock crust.

Gram some graham crackers (or vanilla wafers or other light/crumbly and tasty cookie) and crush. Josh demonstrates his pot mortar and hand pestle method.

Crush as finely as possible.

Step 4: Continue to Stir Apples

At this point, the apples should be reducing - and releasing juicy fluids.

Continue to stir until the liquid starts to caramelize (light brown in color).

Here I am, washing a pot while jessyratfink continues the slow apple cooking process.

If you feel your filling is too runny - mix a bit of cornstarch in a little bit of water - then mix into the pan. If you don't have cornstarch, try flour. This will thicken up the mixture to that familiar goop-like viscosity.

Step 5: Assembly

Grab your pre-made crust and start scooping in your filling - be sure to pack it in well.

It turns out that Jessy is a master measuring eyeballer and chopped just enough apples for our cause.

Top with the crushed graham cracker (or other cookie) and gently tap with the bottom end of a spoon.

Step 6: Serve

Serve with ice cream for the ultimate pie and ice cream experience.

After all, what's pie and ice cream without ice cream?

For the record - that's homemade ice cream... Gnarly bad homemade strawberry ice cream.