Condom Keeper Calendar





Introduction: Condom Keeper Calendar

What do calendars and wives have in common?  Answer: they both have a lot of dates.  At least they better have if you want them to be happy!

I am a man.  Scheduling time out with my wife is not something that comes naturally for me.  To make it easier, I have created a system to help me remember why scheduling "date night" is so important. 

The supply list for this system consists of just three simple, easy to find items.  In fact, you probably already have them. 
  1. A large, twelve-month wall calendar.
  2. A large box of condoms.  Perhaps it might be a box of large condoms.  Even better would be a large box of large condoms!
  3. Thumbtacks.
Here's how it works.

See that box for February 14?  Take a thumbtack and pin a condom in it.  That will remind you that Valentines Day is a "date night."  Do you have difficulty remembering her birthday.  Stick a condom in that box and you won't forget it this year.  Anniversary? Mother's Day?  Yep, stick a condom on each one and you are golden.  Continue on in this manner until you have covered all of HER special days.  

Here is where this starts to get sneaky!  It is now time to get to work on YOUR special days!  Do you have a regularly scheduled poker night out with the guys?  Stick a condom on the calendar the proceeding night and take care of your special lady so she let's you take care of lady luck!  Want to have the gang over for a Super Bowl party?  A condom on the calendar a couple nights beforehand and your team just might score a touchdown!  Do you get caught up in the World Series?  If so, a condom or two and you may be rounding the bases.  Do you suffer from March Madness?  Well, the point spread isn't the only thing you should be spreading, if you know what I mean! 

When you have added all of your dates, there is one final step to do: neglect this step and all of your hard work could be laid (pun intended) waste.  Step back from you Condom Keeper Calendar and take note of the condom distribution.  Are they spread evenly throughout the year or are they congregated around the college bowl season, playoff games, the Baywatch marathon weekend, and the like?  If the latter, then your wife may catch on to your game.  Stick up a few extra condoms randomly to throw her off.

To use the system, look at your calendar each morning as soon as you get out of bed.  If there is a condom on the calendar, then it's date night and you have all day to scrape something together for that night.  Take the condom from the calendar as a reminder of why date night is important.  Finally, a date book designed for the way men think! 

Come what may, you will be ready. 

That about wraps it up.  Chindogu. 



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    19 Discussions

    I feel like sticking the thumbtack defeats the purpose of using a condom in the first place... You're putting a hole in something that shouldn't have holes in it... Maybe I missed something but

    1 reply

    This Instructable was entered into the Chindogu contest. A bizarre and logic-defying gadget or gizmo that has a tendency to fail completely perfectly encapsulates the concept of Chindogu. The Condom Keeper Calendar certainly qualifies for exactly the reason you state.

    As an aside, I have several other Instructables that were entered into the contest, including an underwater cup holder, SCUBA mask wiper blades, a refrigerator shelf extender, the Super Pencil Protector, and my personal favorite, the solution to global warming. There are others. Check them out, you may get a chuckle.

    This is a really good idea but I would be very careful about putting the pin in the middle of the condom packet.

    Sperm are smaller than pin heads. Put the pin in the corner.

    1 reply

    This is a "tongue in cheek" project. and was entered in the Chindogu Challenge. A Chindogu is a gadget that solves one problem but creates more, thereby making it an almost useless invention. Though it can be useful if used as you suggest, my description and instruction certainly qualifies as Chindogu.

    I think that Mr. J. X. Ross has been somewhat bored this summer with a plethora of new and most "interesting" posts to Instructables. If you use bluetac (or your American alternative to this grey sticky stuff if you have it) to stick the condoms to the calendar there will be no little "X's" above the condoms. You know what I have learned most from coming here to Instructables and actually reading the comments (that would definately make me a "woman" wouldn't it?) is that some people have absolutely NO sense of humour. It's very very sad that we have them living and breathing and walking amongst us as we try to navigate our way through this tough and most tricky world. I think that anyone who makes negative or incredulous comments to this post should be made to inflate a red condom on their heads...the ensuring "rose coloured glow" and lack of oxygen to the brain might just give them the very first happy moment that they have had in quite some time...keep it up (literally and metaphorically Mr. Ross...the world needs more Rosses!) and heres looking forwards to your next guffaw inducing Instructable :)

    it is my understanding that condoms help to prevent that problem. Hope it clears up for you soon,

    Ha Ha. I crack myself up!

    Only if you use the thumbtacks on the condoms wrapper, not actually the condom inside (You might want to specify that). Which could explain the five kids.

    Or you could just note the date on the calendar, just like your girlfriend/wife does, and not only save money on ruined condoms, but avoid WTF moments when your drinking buddies or your girlfriend/wife asks what on earth you are doing?

    1 reply

    You clearly know nothing about men.

    We will spend hundreds of dollars on a new toy with a thousand moving parts and what is the first thing we do when we open the package? Yep, that's right. We throw away the instructions. Do you really think we can be trusted to READ what we ourselves have written on the calendar? No way! If the date were important, it would have a condom!

    And as far as FTF moments when our buddies see it...seriously? That there is a prime braggin' opportunity! Why would we want to deny ourselves that joyous occasion?

    What a Waste of Condoms !!! You dont have a wife or girl friend, do you??????
    just askin .

    1 reply
    One wife and five kids. And I use this system all the time...Just sayin'

    Between you and me, I only used two condoms for this project.  All the rest were photo copies.


    I would hope that someone didn't use those if they did they are in for a BIG surprise in about 9 months.

    Disclaimer: Don't try to use any of these condoms for their actual purpose! :D