Introduction: Coping With It.

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Minor edit: This instructable isn't about being a morbid bastard (I get to say that I am one lol) and if you'd rather know why I wrote the whole thing first then skip to the last step.

So having been through a pretty bad spell that still appears to be ongoing I thought I'd share some of the things I've learnt in the past year or so, the instructable is aimed more at younger people, simply because I am one of them and it means it'll make more sense to them, that and younger people have two disadvantages, less life experience and stronger emotional responses.

Im hoping to cover dealing with quite a few things, bereavement, stress, big mistakes/accidents...

Also the first few steps are devoted to simply making your life a little better by making you feel better.

Now for helping friends I've added A friend in need is a friend indeed hopefully that'll help people help... Also I've pretty much started to lump all of the serious stuff instructables under the life series as I call it...

Step 1: Have a Better Day.

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There are alot of things you can do to make your day a little better, most of them are really simple things that can do a great deal for you.

Leaving yourself little treats about the place is a great way to cheer yourself up, you'll not really notice them day to day but when you need them you'll be very pleased... Things like chocolate bars and the like, little sweets or something that cheers you up. I once left a creme egg sitting on the counter by the kettle for two weeks, had a bad day at work followed by an even worse series of events on a night out, I came home, tripping over the little garden light drunkenly and getting electrocuted again (It had no bulb due to the first incident). I got in to the kitchen to get a coffee while on the phone to an ex (yeeech is the best word to describe the conversation) and in the middle of shouting and bawling down the phone at her stopped and said 'ooh creme egg' I felt better looking at it by the time I'd finished it I was happy.

Take a minimum of five minutes a day to yourself, go somewhere you're not disturbed with your headphones and music, put your favourite song on and relax with a cup of coffee or a cigarette or whatever. This really does help you when you're feeling rough about stuff, even when you're good it's a nice thing to do and is similar to sleep you tend to sort stuff out in your head and feel better aftwerwards, the key is to not give a s**t about anyone of anything around you for those five minutes.

Step 2: Making Your Day Betterer.

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Yes betterer, thats way better than making your day more better as far as grammatic innaccuracies are concerned...

So you're bored, or just moping, you need to get out and do something, take a walk, jog, cycle or drive, the whole point is just to escape the house and stretch your muscles. Personally I tend to try and get a bike ride in every day, it helps that I cycle to work, generally I go fast and hard until I'm ready to die, part of it is just to know you pushed yourself today, I got a new bike and was in the mood for some fun on the way home from work and using google maps averaged 25mph... this kind of fun is great, breaking a little personal record feels good... Just anytime you can get up and do something.

Every day for a wee while try and do something that you enjoy or get satisfaction from (guys that doesn't count) anything at all like drawing, making food, building something or even flirting with the pretty shop attendant (both of us agree that it's childish but who cares...) Just anything that makes you a bit happier afterwards.

Step 3: A Little Bit About Depression/general Unhappiness

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So now we're going to delve in to the heavier stuff I thought a little bit about depression and being unhappy with life is appropriate.

There are alot of ways someone can be unhappy, they could be unhappy with where they are in life or they could have just lost someone or they could just be having trouble finding their placement in life (not a theological/spiritual thing at all, an entirely different thing altogether)

Depression can take alot of forms, someone who's depressed isn't someone who is constantly moping or thinking about ending it all, some do feel this way but for many it is something else altogether. One of the most common ways that depression will affect a person is lethargy and interruption to their sleep cycles, this is an effect that almost everybody will feel when depressed, in later steps I will explain how to help with this. Another very common effect is general apathy towards forward movement in your life, thinking 'I don't feel like work today' or 'school's just too much effort', these feelings tend to send people into a downward spiral if they don't fight them and eventually things snowball to the point of a breakdown. Another classic problem with depression is mood swings, not just being 'normal' then sad all of a sudden, one minute they can be on top of the world and the next can be screaming and raging for almost no reason whatsoever, well there are reasons they're just not apparent at the time.

Depression is caused by alot of things, msotly though it can be said that either loss or dis-satisfaction are to blame, if someone close to a person dies they fell grief which is one of the most painful and convuluted emotions we can feel, the world is wrong, it's bloody painful, I know but it does other things to you, it makes you angry and not angry like when someone hits you, it runs deeper than that and when the anger hits your skin prickles and you explode in to what can be termed as mass destruction most of the time. More so it depresses you, nothing means as much when you're depressed every thing is a little greyer than it was and you feel pretty damn lost, not lost like wandering through a field drunk asking 'Were we supposed to be going to belfast or North, wait which way is belfast?' you feel way more lost than that and you need grounded pretty quick. It's different when you're being crushed by a dead end job and you're not getting what you want from life, that kind of depression makes you apathetic and lazy at first then you start to get more depressed as the problems continue on making you feel worthless.

Ok I may have been a bit poetic about it but depression makes your emotions run alot deeper and sure as hell messes up your head.

Step 4: How to Deal With Anger

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I guess I'm going to deal with anger first as it's easily the most destructive emotion felt, it makes your friends scared of you and alienates family.

Basically I can't tell you what the problem is here, you need to figure it out but until then you need to control your anger, this takes more willpower than you can believe in alot of cases. You need to take out your frustration on something, it can be anything within reason, my friend used to take his frustration out on cigarettes, he quite and two weeks later he got a broken nose and I got a fractured elbow, because he had no outlet, however he has found the joys of hard excercise. One of the best ways and an obvious way is to get a punching bag, I made friends with my little brother punchbag during the worst of it and it has ended up ripped, torn and put the garage roof through but it saved me breaking other stuff. Anger is a hard emotion to control but the old technique of cooling off helps alot, when your body is surging with the adrenaline rush of rage it's actually not that hard to walk away, just turn round and walk out the door, you will probably end up slamming it but hey better the door than a person, walk out of the house and go as far as you need, sit down and just chill, it really helps.

Sometimes dealing with your anger can be done simply by talking about the problem, I generally call my best friend in dire straits, I've known him since he and I were 6 months old so we're pretty close, also his dad's a minister so he does have some idea about helping people, he's really helpful because he simply sits there and listens, you just need someone that can listen and take you seriously but can bring a smile to your face at the same time.

A last word on anger:

If you're really having serious anger problem then I do suggest counselling or psychiatry, depsite me hating counselling for some unknown reason I eventually became friendly with my counsellor and we never have counselling sessions anymore (partly because I was forced into them) but when needed I can phone and get help, also I got involved in some great projects through her and the Marie Curie.

Step 5: You're Lazy and Apathetic!

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If you're feeling tired all the time but can't sleep right due to depression the problem is suprisngly based in your body more than your brain (well the body side of your brain anyway) most of the time you're tired and lethargic due to the fact that you're depressed, you can't sleep at night for a whole other reason, you have unexpended energies, you have to excercise them away. This is really helpful and infinitely more healthy than sleeping pills. If you're having real trouble sleeping then a stint at the gym when you wake up then another stint of excercise just before bed will find you falling back into a more normal routine. Aswell as helping with sleep excercise will improve your mood and leave you feeling alot better than before you started, it's a good feeling to drip with sweat, feel every muscle burn, breathe deeply and smile.

To help deal with the apathy and lethargy side of things one of best things to do is to every day feel like you achieved something, nothing too big just simple things like figuring out how to get the cat to stop wasting food or the like will really help, doing something is better than doing nothing, even something destructive is better than nothing so If you getting rid of furniture or some such make sure it's flatter packed than when you got it (only twice have I achieved the ultimate flat pack, one involved jumping out of a second story window and the other involved a front loader).

There are other things that definitely help both of these problems at once, tidying your room helps immensely, apparently if you sleep in an untidy and disorganised room your mind can't get organised and also tidying your room feels good at the end of it, you'll feel proud of it. Another strange but helpful thing is ironing, it works on similar principles to the room tidying and as my mother put it 'ironing out the creases of your life', partly due to the ridiculous ironing pile. Yeah yeah a dude that irons, but someone's got to do my uniform and I noone in my life can put a proper crease in to parade uniform...

Ha! that image note works for everything...

Step 6: Feeling Blue?

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So what the hell do you do when you're just feeling blue, this one is actually the easiest and quickest to help, but will come back if you don't get to the root of the problem.

Basically the easiest way to help with being unhappy is to get some endorphins on the go. So you know the way you get comfort food, well there's alot in that name, anything sweet or sugary will make you feel alot better, unless you're diabetic, then again the unless bit doesn't apply if you're low on sugar...

Having something like a sweet milky coffee is good, I remember a friend of mine after he got mugged, I got him home after meeting him and his mum said 'how about two sweet coffees' and through the tears he agreed after a few sips of coffee and a few jokes from his dad and I he was feeling much better just for some sugar and a laugh.

Humour is really helpful, it can't be that annoying kind of humour where they throw jokes you might go 'hmmphh' at if you were in a good mood, it needs to be something either really dumb or something you find really truly funny, as the laughter takes over you slowly feel better until you're lying on the floor breathless, clutching your stomach due to the laughing fit you just had. Failing that tickling them will help too. Being in the middle of attempting an instructable on humour with goodhart I found out that laughing has some interesting and very positive effects on the brain.

Another great thing to do to pick yourself up is to get some good fast music on and get hyped up to it then either go somewhere really fast or destroy something that needs destroyed...

Step 7: Ways to Help.

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What could you do to repair your psyche to some degree?

Well if you've been feeling down about where you're going or not going in life as the case may be it's probably time to think about a new job, something you'll enjoy or at least get a big paycheck from...

If the world is boring you to tears then maybe you need to see something awe inspiring here's a list of amazing things to see:

- An active volcano
- Aurora Borealis (I really want to see that it's suppose to be great)
- A steam purge at a power station (well feel not see, it's like the world has come to an end)
- The engine room of a great ship (It's like nothing you can believe to see an engine twice the size of your house)
- Maybe see something blown up (It always amuses just don't get blown up, less amusing by far)
- Seeing half a country upside down in a plane you're flying is pretty sweet
- The edge of the abyss (you may need connections with either the holy spirit or lucifer or my cat)

That's just a start of some stuff that might wow you, you know what you'll want to see.

Step 8: Some Extra Little Tips

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A few things to remember or try:

- Remember that you have skill and qualities others don't remind yourself of the fact that you have friends, they're worth more than Bill Gates.

- Try to achieve as much as possible every day and remember that the quicker you do something the more time you'll have for you, just don't waste time doing things badly or you'll not feel a sense of achievement.

- Expect the worst aim for the best, just remember when the s**t hits the fan things will look up again.

- Never ever think that you're not worth it or life's not worth, read the next step on all the crap I've learnt from without ever having had a suicidal thought, you're much better off being alive than dead, it's disturbing to think that people would do something so stupid, wasteful and futile.

- Try to establish a routine for the week, a loose routine, not anything too rigid as that would be called monotany, which is bad. Just have a general idea of your week, I for example know that on a wednesday night I'll be working, on a saturday night I will be out somewhere drinking most likely and on a friday I'll have a couple of beers with my brother after work. There's alot of comfort in routine.

Step 9: A Word From Our Sponsor Please...

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So I'm just going to explain why I wrote this instructable which is kinda of importance to me. See my whole life went truly downhill just more than a year ago, on my dad's birthday he was told he had cancer, terminally so. I spent almost seven weeks out of school, he died seven weeks later, the next day I had to go in to school to get stuff (I wanted my art stuff) only to find the principal had totally disregarded the information given to her and screwed me for coursework and exams, weeks later I manged to get B, E, D in my As levels I am still very proud of being close to an A grade in media studies. The summer was complicated and messed up due to my long term gf who had turned in to a psychotic manipulative bitch.During a mini breakup she called to tell me a freind of mine had died, then asked if I missed her. I missed working with my dad and got drunk most days of the week, not good. On coming back in to school I had some trouble getting in to the swing of things and then we had a great trip, I basically broke up with the psycho before I left and that set the tone for the trip, which was freedom, six days in italy with cheap booze and being surrounded by beautiful dutch and german girls is very very bad for your school life. On the last day of the trip some of went out and got truly blootered, to the point where we were drunk on the plane ride home. A teacher told some lies about me, she said I threw my bag at her because she'd been wretched to us the whole trip, I turned round, dropped my bag and her a 'f*****g c**t who should go f**k herself considering not one single human being can stand five minutes with her' the other teacher agreed. After that I was suspended for a week and when I got back I had some trouble with the new art teacher who at first didn't get on with me, I had a meeting with my mum and the principal and vice principal, in which I nearly hit the V.P. and will some day I bump in to him. They said ' I had been taking advantage of my situation' referring to my dad... Not long after that I took a few days off to do art coursework, a teacher that's friendly with me phoned to ask where I was and the V.P. heard this somehow and I got flasel kicked out of school, the school put down that I left of my own accord and my signature was falsified, that's messed up. I did have a job but only 14hrs a week, I had alot of fights with my family aswell, the only thing that saved me from absolute lunacy was the fact that I went flying the day after I got kicked out, aerobatics clears one's head like nothing else...

basically I know what it's like to lose people, have sucky options on the horizon but hell I'm making the best of it all, I make alot of things go out alot and I'm going to tech in september.


Saturn V (author)2010-10-09

Too bad my parents won't let me do anything I'd like to do. My life is excruciatinly boring.

killerjackalope (author)Saturn V2010-10-09

I have adventures every day in a boring city, trust me there are ways ...

Saturn V (author)killerjackalope2010-10-09

Not in my world. My days are the exact same thing. Wake up. Go to school. Get home. Do whatever I want to do that I've done about a billion times already. Go to bed. Repeat until you've reached infinity.

Duct Tape Dude (author)Saturn V2011-05-19

I feel your pain.

JohnJY (author)2010-03-13

I can't sleep, I'm going from 'A's to 'F's, I have a general dislike of all people, and things, but then again, I always have, I'm developing back pains. And, worst of all, I'm lazy and whinny.  

pyro-jim (author)2009-10-20

Thanks, great instructable! Also helps me realise that in reality; my situation is not nearly as bad as others.

Unicomp (author)2009-04-15

Thanks for this instructable. It's insightful and helpful.

enixgoober (author)2009-03-17

On the 7th of February, 2009 my friend died in a car accident... He wasn't only a friend he was my best friend that I knew since before kindergarten. Sorry about your Dad... GREAT INSTRUCTABLE BTW

lobo_pal (author)2009-02-20

Sorry about your dad man, I lost my grandma when I was 5, she was my best friend, and then when I asked my mom if I could go visit my dog that used to live with my other grandparents before they moved, I found out he was dead too. I've never really had any real friends since.

lobo_pal (author)2009-02-20

I see a pretty girl at the store everyday, and everyday I wave hoping she waves back. Well today she did wave back, I was so exited. She waved and waved and waved, but by the time I realized she was having a seizure, it was too late.

lobo_pal (author)2009-02-20

The worst part is when you truly realize you're depressed. I've been depressed without medication for as long as I can remember, but didn't really know it, I just thought that's how everyone felt. Then after I actually had a good day, and won something based on skill for the first time in my life, I felt great the next day. I couldn't stop smiling, then I realized that that was how everyone around me feels all the time, so now I'm depressed again. Yaaaay.

lobo_pal (author)2009-02-20

Better yet, go for a hike to a mountain top, and look out. It really helps.

Arbitror (author)2008-12-31

Step 6 picture: LOL!

sypher (author)2008-10-11

i do not care if the spelling was off, good stuff. Being alive is the most important 'ible

Goodhart (author)2008-07-23

Sorry I missed this KJ. and am sorry you had to go through all of that. I can relate to some of it, although I was a bit older at the time: My Dad died when he was 49, just 9 months after having been told of having colon cancer that had spread up into his chest cavity - I was 20 at the time. Within a few months, my Grandma on my Mom's side was in a fatal automobile accident. And shortly after this my other grandma died, not willing to fight her pain anymore after seeing "yet another of her sons die". It was a bad year to be sure. It was the year I was going to Adult-Ed Vo-Tech for computer programming, The class was 8.5 hours long and I had to work a full time job on top of it all. I didn't sleep much that year.

killerjackalope (author)Goodhart2008-07-23

I thought you had already seen this at some point, well I already knew you had a rough time lately, it's rough having it happen but it always will... I assumed you had seen this after one of our chats pertaining to raining and pouring... I had a good description phrase what was it...

Goodhart (author)killerjackalope2008-07-23

It looks familiar, but I would have thought I would have commented had I "been here" *shrug*. Anyway, all of that that I described above, happened 30 years ago. And now recently, with my Mother-in-law's passing (she was a sweet person), my operation, and then my Jewish friend who passed on Friday (funeral was on Sunday), we have to continue on. I was not overly close to the lady that died this past Friday, so I did not sit shiva with her son, but I did participate in the funeral at the grave site. This is probably the best mitzvah one can do. *sigh*

killerjackalope (author)Goodhart2008-07-23

It's hard to say what it is but something happens inside you... then things work...

This is actually much older than that, before you weren't here though things like this often slip through the cracks, even though I still get private messages and things about it.

Goodhart (author)killerjackalope2008-07-23

Yep. Well I did not mean to dredge up an old memory. I had not looked at the date.

killerjackalope (author)Goodhart2008-07-23

Never an old memory... Besides better spoke of than shoved away...

Obsessive (author)2008-07-11

"Pure Morning" by Placebo! A friend in needs a friend in deed, a friend with weed is better, a friend with breasts and all the rest, a friend who's dressed in leather. Ha sorry. Nice instructable. I enjoyed reading.

It's not a bad song, though not one I'd want to hear every day.... Thanks...

A good name (author)2008-05-27

Hmmm... sorry to hear about that... I find it amazing you could cope with that... :(

It's a kinda do or don't thing...

Yeah but still... if you were already feeling crappy I don't even know how I could put up with that... I'm like 13 and I'd probably kill myself if someone I knew died... Well, not to say I'm suicidal or anything.

You probably wouldn't, even if you thought about it you'd probably figure it out to be a bad idea...

Wait a second... How come I normally have to use firefox to view instructables but right now It's working on IE?

mwwdesign (author)2008-05-20

You may never fully grasp the impact of this instructable on others. Writing this instructable may have already changed or saved someone's life. Hang in there, you've proven your worth already as far as I see it.

I'll never see the effects of this instructable, I know it's helped a few already but I've been there for people and been there myself, I was glad not to be getting flak about it, some people are very funny about things like this, however I will hang in there, world needs stuff like this every now and again, it's actually been published in some other places in magazines and pamphlets, after i gave copies to some people and they asked if I minded, I prefer to know though...

computer_gui (author)2008-02-24

very well written and helpful! i wish this was here a month or two ago and id suggest blowing stuff up or setting things on fire to keep yourself in a good mood

Cheers, I'll have a good project up for both achivement and happy-making soon, in the meantime I'd suggest blowing up furniture that unique sound of tearing fabric, splintering wood and explosion is beautiful to my ears. Well it's here now so at least those that need something get it.

on of those sounds great about now throwing old computer equipment off a balcony always cheers me up if you are lucky enough to work in a warehouse with a forklift crushing things is also a lot of fun

Ever taken a proper forklift to a car? We have an old hyster forklift with more pull than a tractor and incredible lifting capacity, add a scrap car to the equation, at first we had wrecked the car messing about witht he truck crane, we invented a game called car surfing, which only existed for five minutes, the parts of the car we put the hook on gave way under the swinging and both me and the car fell off (only six feet from the ground so no injuries) By that point the car was going to die so I ran the forks straight through the car, picked it up and put it against the bulkhead of a dead front loader, backed away and aimed the rear ballast at the car, shifted to third gear in reverse (it had two gearboxs after we lost the original reverse gear) and proceeded to speed in to the car... the roof peeled upwards because of the height, the rest went inwards or down, it is incredibly funny to go forward for 20 feet with a twisted amalgamation of forklift and car. Another good one is seeing a guy unwittingly drop several CRTs and watching each one of them implode when they land...

and i thought that just crushing spray paint cans and an old ibook was cool... i wonder if my boss would let us crush one of the old cars its quite a bit of fun to get one of your friends to get into one of the old cars that dosen't have working internal door handles and lift it up 20 feet into the air and drive them around

Yeah my dad that to me, I was on top of a container and he lifted it with the front loader, full height me careering about on top of it... We were a happy family... I really want to see something different happen to some stuff, like imagine if a giant old TV fell from a plane or something, that would be cool...

Your lucky in that sense alot of people were/are not very close with their family and as soon as something happens they regret not doing more with them. That would be really cool! Im pretty sure there are a few laws agenst that though... Ive always wanted to go through one of my school's computer labs and destroy those menaces that they make us work on... The warehouse adjacent to the one i work in is used to store obsolete telecommunications equipment and Permatex stuff and my boss is trying to sell the Permatex stuff so whenever we go in to restock it always takes a huge amount of restraint not to tip one of the 5 pallet tall stacks of old CRT monitors.

Ah now I wouldn't say we did all that well together, I was after all 'a bloody monster' but if you can't have a laught with them... Ok if I ever walked in to somewhere like that I would go buck mad...

wow i was hoping to not have to use your instructable so soon but this week has really sucked... the plus side is it really dose help thanks! ya the only reason i did do anything was because i knew if i did id end up between a brick wall and my boss's f350, alot flatter than i would want to be another thing you might want to add that helps is having a few good friends to help you, unless they happen to be pissed at you to because you let it slip that they drove your jeep into a pole over the weekend and got them in an ass load of trouble with their dad without even realizing it

Dude if you're going to end up a hodd ornament make sure you pul the finger or something just before you're finished, that way it'll be like them bumper bollocks... I wasn't sure whether a friends bit was great because that can be the problem, at some point I might do one on helping friends with stuff, maybe soon too, alot of people want help when they realise you've been through stuff that they are or have gone through, it's good to talk in general aswell.

ha he would like that to much Id probably try and go over his hood and break his windshield or at least be close enough to a wall so he would screw up the fount of his truck good idea i know its sometimes hard to know how to help people with issues like that

With your last breaths put a bit of thermite on the hood and light... It's funny people don't know how to help and can sometimes be really annoying, once that video project is uploaded it'll be good for explaining aswell.

knowing my luck my trusty gas station mini torch would choose then to act up and not work Ive found that generally your really good friends will help and the not so good friends just make things worse

Yep that's always the case, the mini torch breaks and your 'friend' with a jet lighter just laughs...

Runeshai (author)2008-02-23

My first reaction was "oh man..." but I read on. I read the first page, and then the last page, to see what the deal was. After reading the last page, I went back and started again. I understood what was going on. I don't know if you want to move that bit to the beginning, since it definitely clarified things for me and made me want to read the piece, but it's your Instructable, so you decide. That being said... I'd recommend you watch "Stranger Than Fiction," read Bird by Bird (by Anne Lamott) and Against Love: A Polemic (by Laura Kipnis). The last one's not so much about this as it is about love, relationships and society, but it's what I'm reading now, and being halfway done with it an already fascinated to the core, I'm recommending it to everyone I talk to (almost). I don't want to sound authoritative, just making some recommendations that hopefully might be helpful. On the other hand, I suppose you could watch Into The Wild, leave everything and do what you've always wanted to do. Though that gets difficult when it involves other people's cooperation and you don't have any sort of social status to show for yourself (you left everything behind, remember). Too bad society says we have to know someone to trust them most of the time. Glad this was an outlet to get things written down, and that it's gotten 23 views in its first day. Hope I didn't sound therapeutic, just hopefully helpful. :)

killerjackalope (author)Runeshai2008-02-23

I didn't know if it was good to have it at the start because it always feels awkward telling people the whole terror story, makes everything a bit depressing and some don't react well to hearing a good story about the truning upside down of one's life. It was actually the fact that I was on a video project that was being made to teach teachers and counsellors how to deal with breaeaved children that made me get thinking about stuff, that and the fact that an huge many people that are pepressed don't really know it themselves or if they do are very withdrawn about it, with something like a written piece someone can read it and quietly do stuff to help themselves. I like the idea of in to the wild since I can easily walk in to a room full of people I don't know and make friends with them, they'll trust me too... Don't ask why I don't know why... because as one of my teachers said 'you are under no circumstances to be trusted', funny enough my ex said the same thing... It wasn't really an outlet so much as my little way to contribute to helping people... Thanks for the advice and 'therapy' lol

Runeshai (author)killerjackalope2008-02-23

Well I guess that is the point of this website. And you put it to good use. That's a great idea, getting kids together to make a video to help teachers and counselors know how to deal with kids. That should be how it goes more often, not the authoritative "there's me and then there's you" attitude. That's just annoying and condescending. And it doesn't solve the problem, I don't think. Then again, I've never been under counseling like that, so maybe I'm entirely wrong. It just seems way too easy to believe that kids are hardly given a chance to express the real problems before being attacked with solutions (kind of ironic, isn't it?), and that's why they find other ways to vent the emotions. I know what you mean though, about keeping the big story at the end. It makes sense, and I guess it's probably the wiser choice. In my case, I looked further to understand what was going on, so maybe other with my feeling about your intro will do the same. No problem. Hope things are looking up more now than they had been.

killerjackalope (author)Runeshai2008-02-23

well they're more screwed up than ever but I'm making the best of it, I enjoy life on a level that few can, being at a true rock bottom makes a difference to the top. The problem is that as the title of the project says: 'they just don't get it' Adlt are a different breed and strangely I've had a had a forty one year old man crying in my arms at the loss of his dad it's different, it just can't be avoided but oddly there is more support for adults than children despite their greater life experience and generally more developed abilities to deal with pain. the other reason that I do hate starting with the 'incovenient truth' it that I absolutely hate pity I cannot abide by it, so I will tell my stroy in a different way... It's great to have a site like this though, where you can flex your mental and emotional muscles without having to delve in about yourself. The only one bad thing bout here is the suicide threads that appear once in a while, out of anything I hate it's that, waste of life... I'm very live through it as a stronger person when it comes to that stuff and absolutely refuse to lay down at any point...: - Ill sleep when I die - I'll never stop, even after I die. - You name it, there's a way through it... generally I'm not for false hope so much as honest life, depsite one of my greatest skills being lying through my teeth...

Runeshai (author)killerjackalope2008-02-24

Well that message certainly gets the point across, heh. I know what you mean about adults, and I know there are child support groups out there, but mostly it seems the emphasis on children is to get them therapy, get them "fixed," so to speak, so they can't "act out" in "irrational" or "volatile" ways in their daily lives. But it seems to me that if someone listened to the kids, like Marilyn Manson says in Bowling for Columbine, then maybe they wouldn't feel like they had to lash out, because someone cared enough to listen and not try to force them into solutions or therapy. It's strange that today, in an age when communication is so advanced and continually improving, we struggle to find the ability to listen to the simple troubles of a child in their everyday lives. How selfish is that? And how is it justifiable? I don't know. It's not.

killerjackalope (author)Runeshai2008-02-24

See I have a good position, Im seventeen so still 'just a kid' but I can talk reasonably to adults, Once I get the video project finished I'll post it up with a written piece as another way of helping via our greatly advanced communications, If we can raise the funding we're doing one for kids themselves that'll hopefully help them... It was wierd doing the video, knowing that my old teachers will probably have to watch it at some point...

Runeshai (author)killerjackalope2008-02-24

Well take it as a good thing. Maybe they'll realize what was wrong with how they acted, but at least they'll see you're trying to do something good by helping other kids be happy and strong (hopefully, though by your descriptions the teachers sounded pretty terrible). Either way, you're taking the better step forward by reaching out to help others. And that's pretty commendable. Seventeen is very young, but everybody's got problems, so age shouldn't matter. "Ageism," as a sort of co-worker of mine put it (I'm in Vancouver, he's in Florida, so we're not physically co-working, but we're working on the same project, so close enough), is probably one of the biggest downfalls if not the biggest downfall of the communication and digital age we're in right now. And that's pretty unfortunate, given the fact that this advancing technology is proving younger people not only more capable of doing more technologically "advanced" things than lots of adults, but that age doesn't make a difference on the quality of those things, and if an employer, not given the age of either of two applicants, could very well have employed some 18-year-old kid and a 40-something adult in the same job, and both might very well turn out final products of equal value (though experience still counts, just as in any profession, in the quality and thoroughness of the final product).

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Bio: A Northern Ireland based maker with a propensity to cause trouble and freshly constructed family.
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