Introduction: Crash Microsoft Word!

Picture of Crash Microsoft Word!

This Instructable is about how to crash Microsoft Word (or at least slow it down). Best of all, it can be done in about 30 seconds on a target computer! Hahaha!

Step 1: Open Up the Program

Picture of Open Up the Program

Open Microsoft Word. Anyone using Windows (or even Mac users, if they have MS Word on their Mac) should know how to open it. Otherwise, you shouldn't be anywhere near a computer. If you think you're a noob though, look at the following line


Can you read this?!

Step 2: Supersize Your Font

Picture of Supersize Your Font

Now, make your font as big as possible. The maximum font size is 1638. So, in the font-changer drop-down box, change your font to 1638. Look at the picture to see the gargantuan font in action.

Step 3: Secret Code #2257

Picture of Secret Code #2257

Now, type in the following (without quotes): "=rand(200,99)" This tells the computer to print oh-so-many lines of 'The q'- oh, you'll see in the next step...

Step 4: Lights, Camera, Disaster!

Picture of Lights, Camera, Disaster!

Now, all you have to do is press Enter, then run away. The power of this Instructable is not one to be reckoned with. I do not claim any responsibility or liability whatsoever for anything that occurs as the result of posting this Instructable.
That being said, have fun. This is what happens when you do it on only 12 pt. font:

Comments

DYLEGO (author)2008-12-02

an easier way to do it is type a random thing like vkdsdsfdsgvdsjnvjdsfvkjzdsnfvjdsdshvnzjdnfkdngfdnskjdsngvdfjndjhgmnfdjgnfdngdfngdfnbvndfnbvdfbvhdfnbhdfndfjnbdfjnbkjdfnbbvjdnfbndfnbkjfbjnfdjbnfdjbgkdrfngbkjdfngdnfjhgndffjgdfgbdnsfkjgnkjdgkjdehngjdnjgndkjgjdsgjdshgdhngj then copy it with ctrl+c and then hold down cntrl+V when it gets pretty long, like a few pages, copy it again, then paste for a while again. when it gets 50-100 pages long, copy it again thenhold paste. keep going til you get to about 1001, then copy again and paste for a while. i once got to about 5000 pages at school before it froze. it stayed frozen for a few minutes before it unfroze! mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

DYLEGO (author)DYLEGO2008-12-02

hdfhdfhdfhdfhdfhdf

DYLEGO (author)DYLEGO2008-12-02

holy crap, i typed about 211,000 pages in and tryed to open print preview and it wouldnt open after 2 hours!!! i tryed closing and a message box came up saying "microsoft word is unable to close at this time." i pressed ok and it said "we will try to force microsoft word to close. 3 hours later i came back and it said "unable to close microsoft word at this time. restarting the computer MIGHT resolve the issue." what a load of crap! i need a mac. i mean, it was only 211,000 pages, whats the big deal. i restarted my computer and for some reason ms word was still there with 211,000 pages. restarting it a few more times eventually solved the problem. si ===CRAPPY===

fwjs28 (author)DYLEGO2008-12-27

Vista?.....

DYLEGO (author)fwjs282008-12-29

what do you mean, was it vista? no, it was xp

fwjs28 (author)DYLEGO2008-12-30

as in vista is one of the worst OS's ever.....

DYLEGO (author)fwjs282008-12-31

not one of, THE worst

fwjs28 (author)DYLEGO2009-01-01

yes...that is true.....

RedFlash (author)fwjs282009-07-07

And Microsoft thought it was crap so they made windows 7 which is coming out in 2010 or sometime around that...

fwjs28 (author)RedFlash2009-07-09

microsoft KNEW it was crap so they made windows 7 which will mostly be the same thing...

qwertyzzz18 (author)fwjs282010-09-01

Win7 is awesome!

QwertyuioLP (author)DYLEGO2008-12-09

I have got an idea like that to!! I just type tons of 0's.

DYLEGO (author)QwertyuioLP2008-12-12

yeah but you type faster if you type random letters. the computer will only type so many 0s per second if you hold it. ndjsngfvjdsjg;kdgbdngvjldashnlvdnsfjnkldsjdsnjdnsgvd that took about 2 seconds 0000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000 that took about 8

fwjs28 (author)DYLEGO2008-12-27

i did the same thing....i made a 93 Mb file.....it was hilarious....it took like 10 minutes to open on my machine......

rast3r (author)2010-02-18

One time, in highschool, I ran a macro that printed the full text of Moby Dick over and over. Because the printer queue could only be accessed by an administrator (which no one was), the only way to stop it was to unplug the computers. I proceeded to do this on all 30 printers in the library.

rabbitkillrun (author)2010-01-16

But... why?! 

fwjs28 (author)2009-09-17

i get 669 pages of ".....On the Insert tab, the galleries include items that are designed to coordinate with the overall look of your document. You can use these galleries to insert tables, headers, footers, lists, cover pages, and other document building blocks. When you create pictures, charts, or diagrams, they also coordinate with your current document look. You can easily change the formatting of selected text in the document text by choosing a look for the selected text from the Quick Styles gallery on the Home tab. You can also format text directly by using the other controls on the Home tab. Most controls offer a choice of using the look from the current theme or using a format that you specify directly. To change the overall look of your document, choose new Theme elements on the Page Layout tab. To change the looks available in the Quick Style gallery, use the Change Current Quick Style Set command. Both the Themes gallery and the Quick Styles gallery provide reset commands so that you can always restore the look of your document to the original contained in your current template. On the Insert tab, the galleries include items that are designed to coordinate with the overall look of your document. ......"

fwjs28 (author)fwjs282009-09-17

thats using Vista Home Premium, using Office 2007 non-comercial use.

fwjs28 (author)fwjs282009-09-17

nd size 12 font

erikals (author)2009-07-30

how many pages?

A.C.E. (author)2009-04-08

yeah size 1000 font and i got this error box at 32,767 pages:

A.C.E. (author)2009-04-08

lol for me it seems like it copied around 500 pages of the help documentation. im in vista. it provavly would have crashed if i did size 1600 font.

whatsisface (author)2008-04-03
Easier way:

  • Spend two hours on a piece of work without saving
  • Wait for critical fatal error
  • Lose all the work you just did, repeat.
coolz (author)whatsisface2008-06-25

thats harder

DYLEGO (author)coolz2008-12-02

he was being sarcastic

coolz (author)2008-06-25

it does 600 pages in microsoft word 2007

DYLEGO (author)coolz2008-12-02

just copy and paste a few times!

chainedflesh (author)2008-02-09

You know, while I am all for the spreading of knowledge, I have objections to what you suggest doing with the knowledge. Doing this at a store is the sort of thing that a childish loser would do. I know that there is a "be nice" policy here at instructables so here is where I am being nice. I am advising against this to anyone in the interest of helping encourage people to be decent human beings.

ekulmeekul (author)chainedflesh2008-06-10

i must object to the childish loser thing, what better way to spend a few seconds than to inconvenience a computer/electrical store for a few minutes.(i hope that makes sense)

chainedflesh (author)ekulmeekul2008-08-10

Those are the actions of a childish loder. Someone who feels so powerless in their own life that they try to enable a false sense of power by lashing out at a faceless corporation. However they only make life harder for the employees.

QwertyuioLP (author)chainedflesh2008-09-10

?

DYLEGO (author)QwertyuioLP2008-12-02

what you dont understand him? haha, its simple what he said! read it again, kid!

ekulmeekul (author)chainedflesh2008-08-11

Who says I feel powerless, I have total control over my own life and no one should let anyone tell them any different!

zuixro (author)2008-02-09

In my experience, Word doesn't need much provoking to crash.... Nicely explained instructable though.

wolf555hound (author)zuixro2008-08-23

lol! i laughed so hard, even though its true =[

twenglish1 (author)2008-04-03

i can't get it to work, i have the new 2007 version, any ideas y it wont work

twenglish1 (author)twenglish12008-04-03

nvm i must have done something wrong it works now

Transquesta (author)2008-02-10

Uh, WHY would I want to do this?

cheesemaker101 (author)2008-02-09

great :)

GorillazMiko (author)2008-02-09

Funny! I was about to say the sentence thing that dsman1 said. Anyways, this is awesome! Going to try this at Costco and stuff. +1 rating. (added to favorites)

dsman195276 (author)2008-02-09

I get it. btw, the sentence "the quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog" uses every letter.