You don't even need to know how to crochet, because I'm going to do my best to teach you!
Step 1: Materials
Git you a big heapa sisal (hardware store) and giant fat crochet hook (I used this one, but would choose a smaller hook for the next one).
And some gloves or tape to wrap around your fingers. You'll figure that out soon enough. - sisal is tough on the skin!
Step 2: Chain
If you're new to crochet, don't fret. It's totally easy. Check out this tutorial or this video for some help, and I'll do my best to talk you through what I did.
First, make a chain as long as you want the rug to be wide. Mine is 24".
To make a chain, start with a slip knot, and place that on your crochet hook. Loop the sisal over the hook part of the . . . hook. . . and pull that loop through the slip knot, leaving you with only the new loop on the hook. Repeat!
Step 3: First Row
Ok, you've made a whole chain as long as you want the rug to be wide, yeah? Cool.
Now you're going to crochet new loops into the chain you just made.
Insert the hook into the second chain from the hook. Wrap the sisal around the hook just like you did in the last step.
Pull the sisal through the first loop only. This leaves you again with two loops on your hook.
Wrap the sisal around your hook again, and pull it through both loops on your hook.
Look at you! You just made a "single crochet"! Well done.
Now keep doing that across the whole row.