Boredom + Pastry = Wacky Piestuffs.
Step 1: Assemble your ingredients
I made this up entirely from scratch, so the measurements are not precise.
1 cup All Purpose Flour
1/2 tsp salt
5 tbsp ice water
2 large sweet onions
1 large green bell pepper
2 cups Cool Ranch Doritos
2 cups sour cream
1/8 cup shredded cheddar cheese
Salt and pepper to taste
Step 2: Make the pastry shell
Combine the flour lard, and salt in a food processor. Pulse the food processor until the mixture looks grainy.
Step 3: Add water to the flour mixture
Pour the flour mixture into a mixing bowl, and add the cool water (do not add the actual ice) 2 tablespoons at a time. Toss the flour mixture with the water. By the time you get to five tablespoons of water, you should be approching a dough ball that will clean the sides of the bowl as you stir.
Step 4: Roll out the dough between sheets of waxed paper
Dump the dough ball on a peice of waxed paper, and place a second peice of waxed paper on top. Squish the dough flat, then begin rolling the dough out with a rolling pin. You will want to spin the wax-papered dough as you go, and roll out from the center. You are looking for an evenly flat, 10" circle (or close approximation thereof) of dough.
HINT - touch the dough as little as possible. Your own body heat will cause the lard to melt, at the expense of a flaky crust.
Step 5: Place pie shell in pie tin
Peel off the top piece of waxed paper. Place your pie tin on top of the dough, upside down. Then flip the whole works over so that the pastry shell falls into the pie tin. Then peel the remaining peice of paper back, and press the dough into the pie tin. The edges can be crunched up with your fingertips, then squished with the tines of a fork to make them look semi-presentable.
Step 6: Dock the pie shell
Finally, dock the pie shell by poking holes in it with the fork. This prevents bubbling.
Step 7: Pre-bake the pie shell for 5 minutes
Bake the pie shell at 350 degrees 9that magic number) for 5 minutes. This prevents a doughy pie shell. Set the now pre-baked shell aside, while you turn to your filling.