How to Cut Meat - LASER STYLE!

 by trebuchet03
Featured
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There's a trick to get this to work - so here's how to cut meat and be ready for the tasty animals convention :)
 
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Step 1: The Trick

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Here's the key trick. Remove the auto focusing sensor and focus manually. This allows you to get really close to your steak without the focusing sensor crashing. Be sure to count turns so you can put it back where you found it.

The problem is, steaks tend to be too thick to cut with a focused laser... So the closer we can get, the further we can cut.

Alternatively, you probably should pound the steak thin :)
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jmmladinov says: Sep 4, 2012. 2:40 PM
As always those who consider themselves politically and socially on the left are also the most insensitive and intolerant amongst us. If I care to eat animal flesh then I am not to be tolerated and should even be insulted. Of course the answer is that I need to follow their 'enlightened lifestyle'. Yet I would never force so much ass an egg or piece of bacon down their throat. Their lack of tolerance is always visible, and usually followed with their lack of a sense of humor. To be constructive; open a nice bottle of red wine, have a couple of glasses, and grill up a nice be T-bone.
tedmaul says: Feb 9, 2010. 11:30 AM
Visiting the website of the author of this instructable, I see he is into renewable energy & resources. Odd then that he chooses to mock the choice of millions of people not to be part of a process ( the production of meat ) that is enormously damaging to the environment.

It probably won't interest meat eaters to know ( since most are by default unconcerned or willingly ignorant about the calamitous effects their eating habits have ) that it takes 2640 gallons of water to produce 1 POUND of edible beef, or that over 50% of the USA's water supply is used to raise animals for food, or that raising animals for food is the biggest polluter of the water supply & soil, or that 70% of grain produced is used as animal feed, or that rain forests are being cleared to rear animals...etc, etc, etc...

There is no argument in favour of eating meat other than "it tastes good". That remains a fact, regardless of anyone's views on PETA, vegetarians or Ted Nugent.
Foregasm in reply to tedmaulOct 27, 2011. 1:55 AM
I found the fact that People for Eating Tasty Animals and People for Ethical Treatment of Animals have the same acronym to be quite amusing. I also believe that the author did not mean to poke fun in a malicious way. While I understand your point, water is a renewable resource. Sooooooo...
Chris Logan in reply to tedmaulAug 19, 2011. 8:36 PM
Were you unable to find water this morning?

Oh... Then there was probably enough for both you and the hamburger your neighbor ate.
BuffaloNickel in reply to tedmaulMay 23, 2011. 4:40 PM
Quoted from Wikipedia.org

"All muscle tissue is very high in protein, containing all of the essential amino acids, and in most cases is a good source of zinc, vitamin B12, selenium, phosphorus, niacin, vitamin B6, choline, riboflavin and iron.[54] Several forms of meat are high in vitamin K2,[55] which is only otherwise known to be found in fermented foods."

There is plenty of an argument other than "it tastes good". sure, you can get your proteins and such from other foods, but you will not get all of the different kinds of proteins your body needs to function correctly. Most vegetarians I know either have an unhealthy body weight, get injured easily, or are anaemic (iron deficiency). Those I know who are completely healthy do not NEVER eat meat, they just eat it on occasion, recognizing the health benefits. If you do not balance your diet correctly, you will have health problems. Although the way that meat is produced in the world is not necessarily something I agree with, meat is an integral part of our diet.

Zaphod Beeblebrox in reply to BuffaloNickelMay 27, 2011. 2:02 PM
in addition to that it tastes good.........
karleksbi in reply to tedmaulMar 4, 2010. 6:15 PM
Thank you!
I actually didn't know any of that. Learn something new every day ^-^

Hurray! Vegetarianism!

"Your bog standard house pet also contribute to your afore mentioned problem, yet produces no valuable output (other than enjoyment)."

That's grossly incorrect. your bog standard pet is a better therapeutic aid than a psychiatrist in some cases. A pet can relieve stress and anxiety, regulate your heartbeat and blood pressure and even help us in our social lives providing companionship that we as humans need. Enjoyment should be simply be an added perk to all the benefits of having a pet... not the absolute reason for having one.
Kelticfox in reply to tedmaulFeb 10, 2010. 2:09 AM
What your argument fails to mention is that the water is recycled into urine, sweat and saliva.

The urine soaks into the ground, the sweat evaporates and drool...... well I dunno. I believe 9 year old children learn about it and it's called the Water Cycle.

Granted to raise an animal uses a large amount of resources, but at least farm animals have a use (i.e. Food). Your bog standard house pet also contribute to your afore mentioned problem, yet produces no valuable output (other than enjoyment).


And I work as a Chef.....
Schober in reply to KelticfoxMar 19, 2011. 5:57 AM
He also forgot to mention that populations of everything (including humans) are on a natural and relatively steady increase, based on natural limiting factors. Humans eating the animals is just one of those factors and if left out of the equation the populations of the animals we consider food would increase to a point of critical volume. Creating a bad situation for them and us and causing more damage than we might intend.

We once tried removing wolves from Yosemite Park (because we thought they were dangerous), this allowed the elk in the area to live longer and have more offspring, those offspring then ate the sapling trees in the area, giving less ground cover for the areas around the river, which let the river bank erode away making the river wider, making it too shallow for fish to swim in. While all this is happening all of the old trees in the park were dying off, and since the overpopulated elk had eaten all of the saplings, there were no trees to replace the dead ones, leaving a bunch of dry timber to be ignited that could burn the whole forest down.

This is stuff I learned in 8th grade Biology, and there are many more examples. Remove one natural factor from an ecosystem and the whole thing falls apart, you create a break in the food chain that is hard to repair.
omnivaal in reply to tedmaulFeb 10, 2010. 1:07 AM
Humans are omnivores. Our digestive system has evolved to process both animal and vegetable material.
sarge69 says: Feb 9, 2010. 6:47 PM
People
Eating
Tasty
Animals
rockyt says: Aug 30, 2007. 3:28 PM
if the big guy upstairs didn't want us to eat animals, why'd he make them out of meat?
Lithium Rain in reply to rockytDec 1, 2009. 9:00 PM
xD
cantthinkof bettername in reply to rockytApr 2, 2009. 5:57 PM
(Mark 7:15) I think it means that Christians can eat whatever they want.
iminthebathroom in reply to cantthinkof betternameJan 14, 2011. 9:41 AM
Running through this comment string. think again. Anything and or pig skin can not be eaten or touched for that matter, ditto for shell fish. Its all in the legal sections of the bible, which was more of a smart guide back then, just taken to literal by some.
Tedkarlsson94 in reply to rockytMar 1, 2009. 11:35 AM
Yeaah!!!
KEYBOARDISBROKEN in reply to rockytDec 20, 2008. 11:09 AM
i just joined P.E.T.A People for the Eating of Tasty Animals
superquack11 in reply to KEYBOARDISBROKENDec 1, 2009. 8:23 PM
you got a new member! steak any one?
Warlrosity in reply to KEYBOARDISBROKENFeb 27, 2009. 2:17 AM
Cool
w00ty32 in reply to rockytNov 14, 2007. 4:08 PM
i no, but i like vegetarians, more meat 4 us!
rorr40 in reply to w00ty32Dec 20, 2008. 10:44 AM
I like Vegetarians too, preferably roasted with teriayki sauce.......
Warlrosity in reply to rorr40Feb 27, 2009. 2:18 AM
mmmm tasty
yourface101 in reply to rorr40Feb 11, 2009. 4:48 PM
we help the environment by eating them tasty animals :D
nocturnaltofu in reply to rockytOct 7, 2007. 4:39 AM
humans are made of meat too.
SecondSun in reply to nocturnaltofuNov 12, 2007. 11:23 AM
Which is why eat humans (see canibalizm) LOL sorry i couldn resist
Warlrosity in reply to SecondSunFeb 27, 2009. 2:18 AM
Ido do you?
Big Bwana in reply to SecondSunMar 11, 2008. 10:32 AM
Hate to tell you this but every part of every mammal is eatable, with the liver of a polar bear being the only exception due to it's high vitiman content, but in small doeses it's eatable to ...
SecondSun in reply to Big BwanaMar 13, 2008. 8:10 AM
What? What about bones, colons, glands etc? Some organs of a moose are not eatable for example. There are a lot of mammals we can't eat. My comment was a joke and I seriously hope your is as well.
yourface101 in reply to SecondSunFeb 11, 2009. 4:50 PM
every part is pretty much eatable, but they will kill you sometimes :)
Big Bwana in reply to SecondSunMar 14, 2008. 6:27 AM
Ok I didn't say it would taste good , but bones - where does Jello come from, colon - think hotdogs (( if your lucky they might of actually cleaned it out fully, you might also need some lips for color )) Glands yes they are normally tossed but they are eatable. And as for there is lots of mammals we don't eat well here's the problem, there's so many cats and so few recipies....
SecondSun in reply to Big BwanaJan 23, 2011. 10:29 AM
If you think every part is eatable, please go eat the liver of a moose.
corey_caffeine in reply to Big BwanaJul 3, 2009. 12:10 AM
*cough* kung pao chicken *cough*
Goodhart in reply to Big BwanaAug 23, 2008. 5:54 PM
most sausages and hot dogs are synthetically covered now (anything in the grocers anyways).
abnor in reply to Big BwanaJun 23, 2008. 2:20 PM
haha. maybe you should invent a few and get back to me with the instructable on cat recipes ;D
SecondSun in reply to Big BwanaMar 14, 2008. 10:38 AM
Yes, but in those cases the "food" is severely refined (gelatin comes from collagen).

Any lifeform is edible if it is severely refined. Even some inorganic substances are edible if they are severely refined.

Iron house-keys and nails are edible, when refined properly...

Even the liver of the polar bear is edible when refined.

I assumed we were talking unrefined, since refined includes pretty much everything.

http://catrecipes.com/
Big Bwana in reply to SecondSunMar 15, 2008. 9:28 PM
Actually, I was at first thinking totally unrefined, I could go as far as even uncooked, but reasonably fresh, in a survial situation. Yes the skin, fur, bones, glands would not be consumed, they would be used for coverings tools ect, but every part of every mammal is eatable but the polar bears liver, which is why other mammals like loins can eat us with out fear, well other then a spike in there LDL levels ..... but the cat humor got to me, and that site was funny, even if the kids are having nightmares now ...
Goodhart in reply to Big BwanaAug 23, 2008. 6:01 PM
It would be nearly impossible to eat the tarsal glands of a deer, for instance. Some glands, like the one that produces the "scent" of a skunk, would be just as problematic. Our digestive system is not like most other animals (cats, opossum, dogs, goats, woodchucks, etc). Can most animals "eat" what vultures and crow eat?
Mr. Thrak in reply to GoodhartAug 24, 2009. 6:31 PM
Try "eating" a rhinoceros horn. Or animal brains. those are bad
Goodhart in reply to Mr. ThrakAug 24, 2009. 6:40 PM
I've had Thymus already :-) (sweetbreads)
AboveGroundPool in reply to rockytOct 5, 2007. 8:59 PM
(removed by author or community request)
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