What do you get someone who has it all?

Or, more frequently, what do you get someone when you have nothing?

Services, of course!

Back rub? Check!

Unclog a toilet? Check!

Unmentionables? Don't mention it!

And what better way to class up the gift of Nothing than with a fancy-looking punch card!

Step 1: Design! or Steal!

The punch-card wasn't originally my idea, so my friend did the design. Which I have stolened for me own selfs!

We work at TechShop San Francisco, and where there's a member to whom we wanted to express our thanks: Pope Bill, who periodically sets out pizzas, sandwiches, and other edible delights for the whole community to feast on.

Saw him the other day reading a book called "To Serve Man". What a philanthropist!

Step 2: Source!

Alright, normally I scavenge for materials, but these were kind of specialty items.

I got two thin sheets of wood veneer; the darker one is about half as thin as the lighter one.

Darned if I can remember the actual thicknesses, but you get the idea.

Step 3: Laze!

Pew pew pew!

That is to say, safely and responsibly cut your approved materials on the laser-cutter. Clean up your stuff when you're done.

Step 4: Photograph!

(Seriously, you'll be happier if you document your projects.)

Clockwise from the top, I have (1) the front-piece, with both cutting and etching, (2) the bottom-piece, with just cuts, and then (3) the center-piece.

I originally meant to etch the numbers on the center-piece. But I forgot to switch the settings!

And it actually worked out for the better! It took less time than etching, it looks cool, plus the punches are already somewhat started, since the numbers are cut clean-though.

Serendipity!

Step 5: Assemble!

Here I've glued the three cards together.

I used an acid brush with the hairs cut short to make a stiff, precise brush for applying wood glue in a thin layer around delicate features.

I used the tines of a plastic fork to scrape up any glue that squeezed out of the tiny corners of the punch-holes.

Then I wrapped the card in aluminum foil, before putting it under pressure to flatten the warping of the veneer. Wood glue won't stick well to the foil, making it easier to clean up if the pressure squeezes out any excess glue.

I put it under a few reams of printer paper overnight, to keep it squeezed together.

And, to make sure it wasn't discovered before it was ready.

Step 6: Punch!

So, naturally, it was immediately discovered!

Fortunately by my friend who'd designed it in the first place. So we gave Bill his card!

Rather, we had to force him to accept the card.

Reluctantly, he muttered that he wouldn't be able to complete his mission now, and something about a home planet.

But your results may vary!

And we did it all at TechShop!