After about 30 minutes in the hospital under an eye wash device (not the most comfortable thing either) I recovered enough to leave. Eventually with the help of prescription eye medication the pain subsided and the redness slowly went away.
Here now is what I could have done had this instructables been around before rushing off to the store for an "emergency" can of ...err soda.
Step 1: Acquire a 3 liter (or 2 liter) soda bottle
Step 2: Cut off the top and bottom.
Step 3: Now cut open the center "tube"
Now you should have a self curling piece of clear PETE platic that will accomodate the pattern below.
Use grease pencil to draw the pattern and then cut it out with sizzors. You can use a hole punch or an ice pick to cut the small holes on the tabs that fit above and below the ears but be careful not to let it slip since PETE is awfully slippery.
Use paper clips and rubber bands or string to hold the shield in place and hop on your bike and head for the store to get a replacement bottle of soda!